Creepy.

http://www.paleisthenewtan.com/

Way creepier.

Mat wondered if any mechanics were listening, because Sammi had a problem.

During the show meeting last night every one of the warning (that she didn’t even know she had) lights in her Anal Cavalier came on and off in different combinations. She said it looked like a slot machine.

Dave diagnosed it as a lower battery problem, but could not explain why she got high as shit off the fumes plowing through the air vents. Thanks, Dave!

6 a.m.

DRUNK DIAL LINE

Included:

Mat “Douchebag Extraordinare” Diablo; peeing in the trash can at McDonald’s; Carlos shouldn’t FAP at the table; Sean Connery sells boats; Christy Taylor screams; 15 year old’s first boob; you can get drunk off marijuana; hi grandma; and Twilight screams.

Pop Trash:

Jason Segel writes an honest song.

Tila Tequila naked meltdown.

Drew Barrymore gives Justin Long the boot.

Life gets a little worse for James van der Beek.

Sammi and Mat made fun of Taylor Lautner (the kid who looks like he was repeatedly punched in the face) and his girlfriend Taylor Swift (who looks like a rotten orange shriveling into itself) and said they’d implode if they ever drank something bitter.

THE 91X MORNING SHOW MGD 64 BOLTS REPORT

With Shaun Phillips

Mat spoke to number 95 Shaun Phillips about this Sunday’s game in Denver against the Broncos.

Phillips is pumped. Denver has some great players, but he’s not worried. “It ain’t about what Knowshon Moreno can do to us, its what we can do to him.” Hell yeah.

Phillips said it’s time to take the division back “for real, for real.” Simply, they have to play one game better, and one point better than the Denver Broncos.

Phillips did admit he is still bitter about last year’s game and the whole Ed Hocchuli incident, but he has forgiven him. “I’m sure you’ve made a mistake and dropped an f-bomb on the radio,” he reasoned. He even admitted to making a few of his own.

The mile-high field is loud and cold, but Phillips said it’s 120 yards like every other field he’s ever played on. There’ll be 11 guys out on each team, and football is football.

Phillips did promise there will be some “smacking in the mouth,” though. They always get riled up about this rivalry.

And about last week’s game, Phillips said he noticed Philly fans were almost as loud as chargers fans. “You can’t let that happen again,” he warned.

Phillips does enjoy playing in front of Philly fans and hostile environments though. He said even though they’re not supposed to, he’s a guy who likes to “heckle back.”

 7 a.m.

What’s on the Internet?

http://peoplewholooklikealiens.tumblr.com/

and

http://www.paleisthenewtan.com/

MIXOLOGY 101

Anthony and Nathan from El Dorado Cocktail Lounge downtown came in to help us learn a thing or two about sophisticated drinks.

They have a new fall menu coming out on Wednesday, and are of course having a party to celebrate. It starts at 7, and will be $5 drinks all night! Thanksgiving’s the next day, so no one has an excuse to stay in.

Today they made Corn and Oil’s. A classic drink with three basic ingredients.

The first is homemade falernum, which smells like Christmas and tastes like victory. It has ginger, spices, clove, and overproof rum. (Click on the name for El Dorado’s own recipe!)

The second ingredient is Goslings Black Seal rum. (It is the reason for the “oil” in the name, but they still don’t know where “corn” came from.)

The third ingredient is lime juice.

Bing. Bang. Bam. Done. Garnish with a lime. Delish.

They also brought in a special treat that we have been discussing since the first time they came in: Applewood Smoked Bacon Bourbon. Anthony made it himself. It was the second attempt, as the first time he tried to make it he bought all the ingredients (including the bacon) at a liquor store because he was so excited he just couldn’t wait. Nathan said it was awful, like a cup of salt. The second attempt, with finer ingredients, was scrumptious.

8 a.m.

MARIO THE MEXICAN MORRISSEY FAN’S DOUCHEBAGS OF THE WEEK

Honorable Mentions: Bud Adams, Amy Winehouse, and Chas Bono.

The Douchebag of the Week: Glenn Beck!

SPECIAL GUESTS

Dani Maul and Heidi Evidence from the San Diego Derby Dolls came in to promote their bout tomorrow night against the Humbolt Hairy Girls.

Dani Maul was wearing a rainbow-printed leotard and wanted to compare her muscles to Preston’s. For some reason, Sammi was wearing a leotard today too, and thus it was declared ‘Tard Friday.

She was named the Skater of the Month for November for her awesomeness.

The bout is at the Del Mar Fairgrounds tomorrow, November 21 at 7 p.m.! Get tickets on their website or at the door.

Also, bring a new toy to donate to their toy drive, benefiting Rady’s Children Hospital.

9 a.m.

THE BOTTOM 40

When Mat Diablo uses the little power he has to plummet past the pop on top and reach into the depths of the musical charts to dig some gems gleaming with promise and potential out from…

The Bottom 40.

Today’s featured tune from Mat’s personal musical piggy bank:

Foolin’ – Devendra Banhart

Consider yourselves informed.

-SS

Get cats for your gold. MEOW!

http://www.shitmygfsays.com/

What do you get when you rip off/combine F My Life and Shit My Dad Says?

Funny.

Beck defeated Kanye West, a formidable opponent, in the championship round by a margin of four votes.

Our web guy, Edgar, apparently hates Glenn Beck too. He threw this video together to celebrate his douchebaggery…

Mat headed out to one of our friendly neighborhood Indian reservations last night for a “fishing license.” But by “fishing license” I mean peyote.

Then he watched 5 hours worth of “Xavier: Renegade Angel” on Adult Swim. Needless to say, he was in a surreal mood.

Sammi borrowed Mat’s knife yesterday before heading to lunch with Carlos and a listener who offered to take them to Sonic’s on the drunk dial line.

Mat kept calling it a date, but Sammi assured him it was nothing more than a car-jacking with food.

Sammi and Carlos spent most of the time giggling that they wanted desserts like “Sonic Blasts” and “CreamSlush Treats” in their faces.  

Somehow the conversation jumped to putting the word “anal” in front of the model names of American cars, which they spent the rest of the break doing.

For example: Anal Explorer, Anal Cavalier, Anal Probe, etc.

6 a.m.

Carlos went to the premiere of Twilight last night. He loved it. He tried to attach some value to the phenomenon, attributing kids’ new found interest in literature to it.

Mat said it is usually the tweens interested in makeup and cigarettes that will go to beauty school who love Twilight, not those with an interest in classic literature. Which is cool, different strokes, but why adults were there is beyond me.

Sammi said she just cannot understand why Kristen Stewart is in love with a werewolf and a vampire. There has to be a nice human boy at school that won’t cause her four books worth of problems.

Meanwhile Preston, as he always does, became really defensive of Twilight. It’s weird, this trigger goes off where he vigorously defends the franchise.

Pop Trash:

“Modern Family” rape joke.

Lady Gaga, Christopher Walken, and Cartman collab.

Forbes names the most overpaid actors.

‘New Moon’ going to make a shit ton of money.

Flaming Lips “Watching the Planets” video features naked bike ride.

SERIOUSLY, FUCK THAT GUY.

Fuck that guy who makes obvious boner jokes… Preston… Seriously, fuck that guy. 

Fuck that guy who cuts you off in the breakfast buffet line to get to last piece of bacon… Seriously, fuck that guy.

Fuck that guy who brings seafood into the office for lunch, and forgets it in the fridge… Seriously, fuck that guy.

Fuck that guy that leaves 50 feet between him and the next car at busy stoplights so turning lanes extend all the way back into the normal lanes, and traffic gets fucked. PULL THE FUCK FORWARD, DICKHEAD… Seriously, fuck that guy.

Fuck that guy who lost my uniform and substituted with a set two sizes too small. So now I have to wear little boy pants where I’ll be surrounded by a shit load of hecklers for the next two weeks. It’s hard to be taken seriously when you’re smuggling plumbs… Seriously, fuck that guy. 

Fuck that guy who put the so-called word “ginormous” in the dictionary… Seriously, fuck that guy.

Fuck that guy who, despite a row of empty seats, sits right next to you. Seriously, fuck that guy.

Fuck that guy on a curvy road in the lifted blacked out diesel truck with the SKIN sticker who thinks he’s Mario Fucking Andretti, but can’t go around a corner at more than 15mph, or he’ll pitch himself in the ditch. But he sure as fuck won’t pull over, because that’d make his 3-inch-dick feel even smaller. Here’s to you, Captain Douche… Seriously, fuck that guy.

Fuck that guy who doesn’t understand a locked door. You’re in the bathroom doing your thing and a guy reaches to open the door, it’s locked. Why not try an open it a few more times you asshole. Oh, it’s still locked? Maybe you should try and open it extra hard tough guy. Oh, it’s still locked? Then you make a comment ecause every bathroom should be open just for you. No flush for you bud… Seriously, fuck that guy.

Fuck that guy who takes longer to get ready than his girlfriend… Seriously, fuck that guy.

Fuck that guy who calls you chief… Seriously, fuck that guy.

Fuck that guy who ignores traffic signs and common sense because he has no brakes on his fixed gear. Fuck that hipster guy, his bike , his BO and his stupid moustache. Seriously, fuck that guy.

Fuck that guy at the gym who clearly hasn’t showered in a week… Seriously, fuck that guy.

Fuck that guy who thumps his bass in his car so you can’t even hear your own music… Seriously, fuck that guy.

Fuck that guy who grunts so loudly at the gym so everyone knows how hard he’s working out… Seriously, fuck that guy.

Fuck that sneaky son of a bitch who broke into my house and pissed my pants when i was passed out… Seriously, fuck that guy.

7 a.m.

What’s on the Internet?

http://www.catsforgold.com/

and

http://www.shitmygfsays.com/

BRACKET

GLENN BECK has been declared the biggest douche in the world!

Beck defeated Kanye West, a formidable opponent, in the championship round by a margin of four votes.

8 a.m.

BEER FOR BREAKFAST

Simon from the New English Brewing Company, currently up in the San Bernadino area, is moving his brewery to the old Mission Brewery Plaza off the 5 at Washington.

Simon is British, but has lived in San Diego for 15 years, so he considers himself a hybrid of the two. He considers his beer the same.

Mat said he expected hot beer and meat pies. Instead we started with New English’s Brewer’s Special Brown Ale.

At 6.6% alcohol by volume it sneaks up on you, but British beers are more about socializing and being able to last through a few pints than simply getting wasted.

“We like beers that people enjoy with friends and food,” Simon said.

The second beer was New English’s Exlporer ESB. Simon said a great deal of English beers are bitter, which somehow led to a discussion of Morrissey.

Mat said the ESB would be paired best with the Morrissey song, “The More You Ignore Me, the Closer I Get.”

It is brewed with the most expensive British malts. Mmm.

New English is available at all the usual beer spots around 30th street, and you can check out their website for more locations.

Check out a New English beer and dinner pairing at the Torrey pines Lodge on December 9!

Scot from Stay Classy came in to recap the Classy Award that Matty boy hosted.

9 a.m.

THE BOTTOM 40

When Mat Diablo uses the little power he has to plummet past the pop on top and reach into the depths of the musical charts to dig some gems gleaming with promise and potential out from…

The Bottom 40.

Today’s featured tune from Mat’s personal musical piggy bank:

Pine On – Obits

Consider yourselves informed.

-SS

Vote tomorrow to declare the winner. Will it be Glenn Beck? Or Kanye?

Mat spoke at a meeting for the SDSU Journalism and Media Studies Student Association. He doesn’t know the campus at all, and said the map made it seem very flat and easily maneuverable.

All of a sudden he’d be three flights of stairs beneath a bridge he should have been walking on, in a building that wasn’t on a map, or climbing up a hill to get past the ARC.

The university security team stopped him mid-climb as he struggled to find where he parked.

“Hey, you! You’re too old to be on campus, get down here,” they yelled.

6 a.m.

Mat replayed our new theme song, “Better About Yourself,” by Preston. He really hoped it made everyone’s morning better, as is intended by the song, the song title, and our show in general.

Just to be sure, he read a few “FML’s” to show you it could always be worse.

Pop Trash:

Newscasters need to mind their inflections.

This Nickelback cover is incredible.

Wendy Williams scuffles with Omarosa.

Avril Lavigne and Wilmer Valderrama take solace in one another’s obscurity.

Travel around America with Bob Saget.

7 a.m.

What’s on the Internet?

http://thefuckingweather.com/

and

http://obama-weather.com/

and

http://yousneezed.com/

and

http://havetheyfoundlifeonmars.com/

and

http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/

and

http://isitwindy.com/

BRACKET

Today Kanye West defeated Mat Diablo 16-5, by one measly vote, to move on to the championship round of the “Biggest Douche in the World” bracket.

Vote tomorrow to declare the winner. Will it be Glenn Beck? Or Kanye?

8 a.m.

THE MORE YOU KNOW WITH HARRY O

Harry O., a sales guy at 91X, knows everything.

If you want to know about a motocross event that happened in San Diego in 1974, he’s your guy!

If you want to shoot stuff, he’ll take ya!

But most of all, if you want to hear a story, he’s got a million.

Preston catches them on tape. Mat plays them on air.

This week’s story was about Harry O catching a penguin in the San Clemente Reef. He thought it was a monster fish, so you can imagine his surprise when a fucking penguin came out of the water. Naturally, they called SeaWorld. I mean, a fucking penguin. So a suspicious SeaWorld employee (who did NOT believe it was a penguin, obviously) came down to check it out. And it was a fucking penguin. So he took it to SeaWorld, named him Petey the Penguin, and he still lives there. Go check Petey out. July 1975, San Clemente Reef, where were you?

The more you know.

SPECIAL GUEST

Bert Boyce, Sam Adams brewer, came in with the new Utopias, a 27% alcohol by volume “beer” that costs $150 a bottle, and is super fancy.

You can get it in San Diego at your finer beer stores for the next few weeks while supplies last.

The long and difficult fermentation process is aged in barrels, so it is not carbonated. It is not a wine. It is not a barley wine. It is not liquor. So what is it?

It’s Utopias.

(How’s that for a hard sell.)

Seriously though, it makes you warm and fuzzy after a few sips.

9 a.m.

THE BOTTOM 40

When Mat Diablo uses the little power he has to plummet past the pop on top and reach into the depths of the musical charts to dig some gems gleaming with promise and potential out from…

The Bottom 40.

Peter, Bjorn and John, of Peter Bjorn & John, dropped in before their show tonight to tell us that it’s their 10th birthday! (As a band.) To celebrate, they’ve had special guests at every show, except last night when a “guy who puts spoons all over himself” flaked. Andrew WK kicked off the whole shindig in NY, though.

They also revealed that they ripped off the whistling in “Young Folks” from “Kung Fu Fighting.”

Today’s featured tune from Mat’s personal musical piggy bank:

 I Want You – Peter Bjorn & John

Consider yourselves informed.

-SS

Tomorrow: Mat Diablo takes on Kanye West to see who will join Beck in the championship round.

Even Obama called Kanye a jackass!

Tomorrow, Glenn Beck takes on Speidi. Then, Mat Diablo vs. Kanye West. D-d-d-d-d-d-douches.

http://twitter.com/actuallynph

Doogie has finally done it.

http://www.fuckyeahneilpatrickharris.com/

NPH all day, every day.

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

Cake FAIL. (In honor of “cake shows” being the next TV craze.)