91X Morning Show with Mat Diablo

5:30 a.m. Mat Diablo and Carlos revealed that Mahoney adamantly carries around a John Adams coin and a two dollar bill just so he has at least two John Adams conversation starters on hand at all times.       The thought of tow trucks towing other tow trucks tickled Mat pink as he drearily drifted into dreamland last night.       6 a.m.         Grand Theft Auto: Mira Mesa.       People thought that a reward like four Coachella tickets a year and $10,000 would only come around when pigs fly! Well, Mat informed everyone that day has come. One of the infamous Pink Floyd pigs used during Roger Waters’ set flew away from the suck-festival that is Coachella. Whoever does find it is entitled to $10,000 and four Coachella tickets a year for life. Mahoney interviewed someone searching for the super massive swine that had seemingly not come down from his last peyote ingestion.       Mahoney and Carlos discussed the numerous negatives of mounting gas prices.  Mat used the issue as a platform from which a better public transportation system should be built.       What’s on the internet? Today’s topic of Interweb interest was celebrity sex tapes, since a Jimi Hendrix sex tape has recently surfaced.. Mat expressed his sex tape fatigue, while Mahoney said he was just plain “burnt out” from them (ew.) Mahoney said he would be recharged if Heidi Montag came out with one, preferably if he was in it. Carlos said he is still waiting for an Olsen twins tag-team tape.       7 a.m.         New Game! Classical Prose or Myspace hoes? Mahoney read two poems and a listener deciphered if the author was a classic poet or just any ol’ Myspace ho poet (hoet?) The contestant actually mistook Maya Angelou’s “Phenomenal Woman,” for a trashy teen’s triumphant work of art. Mat prematurely gave the caller a prize, noting that the game need not go on after Mahoney repeatedly yelled, “I am a phenomenal woman!” The prose prize was a pair of tickets to experience the Red Bull Sea and Air Parade from the deck of the U.S.S. Midway.       Pop Trash: David Blaine holds his breath again.       Mat, excited about Intern Sammi’s all-girl Beastie Boys cover band, asked her to come in and “flow.” When her lone band mate bailed, the performance had to be rescheduled for the Stache Bash. In the meantime, “Licensed to Ill” is looking for its third and final member. Will it be you? (It won’t be Carlos.)       8 a.m.   Carlos was invited to emcee his alma mater’s Senior Night. Mat could not believe that out of everyone who has ever graduated from Torrey Pines High School, Carlos was chosen. The two agreed that they fulfilled two very different high school stereotypes during their glory days, and left it at that.       QUESTION:  Who is the one person your significant other would give you a “Get out of jail free” card (so-to-speak) for?        The Red Bull Sea and Air Parade ticket winner had the same “one” as his girlfriend: Eva Longoria.       On the Drunk Dial Line, one listener made sure Mat and Mahoney knew that the only reason they are cool with cops is the color of their skin (pasty.) Another caller called Mat out for not wanting to join his bushy brethren by growing a macho mustache. He was persuaded, and agreed to stop shaving immediately.       9 a.m.         About twenty four hours after the release of Grand Theft Auto IV, Mat found out that people are still staying home from school and work to play. He speculated that this GTA frenzy, and the reclusive lifestyle that comes free with purchase, might start to affect certain parts of the economy.       What did we learn?   Carlos learned that there is a pig in the sky that is worth $10,000.   Mahoney learned that he IS a Phenomenal Woman!        Tomorrow: Beer for Breakfast!   -SS

 

 

5:30 a.m.
The 91X Morning Show began with Mat’s review of the new movie, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” noting that he was still “reeling from so much wang in his face.”

6 a.m.
The morning show crew wished each and every nerd in San Diego a “Happy Grand Theft Auto IV Day.” For those not familiar with the holiday, legend has it that the Carnage Fairy will deliver more and more violence, bloodshed and sex to children every year until the Fairy’s distributor sells more than 9 million copies. According to callers, those who waited anxiously outside until the stroke of midnight were generously rewarded with ample amounts of brazen brutality. In observance, work and/or school should be avoided until the game is completed.

Mahoney and Carlos told Mat and 91X listeners about the “Stache Bash” planned for Carlos’ birthday on May 19. The theme is simple: mustaches. Mahoney opted for a Handlebar, “I call my girlfriend my ‘old lady,’” sort of mustache that is already strapped across his face weeks in advance. Carlos started growing his yesterday and, in this early stage, just looks like he’s been eating a lot of Oreo’s.

What’s on the Internet? http://coldplay.com/
The New Music Obsession of the Week unveiled on this morning’s show can be downloaded for free by clicking above.

Mat and Mahoney took calls from Grand Theft Auto enthusiasts throughout the morning to hear some feedback on the game. The calls caused Mat to weep for the future.

7 a.m.
Mat announced that San Diego County Crime Stoppers now accept reports and complaints via text. “omg now u can narc on ur friends thru txt lol.”

Mat interviewed Ben Gibbard and Chris Walla of Death Cab for Cutie about Juno, The Dismemberment Plan, life on the road, the new record, and everything in between!  The morning show aired two tracks (“Brothers on a Hotel Bed” and “I Will Possess Your Heart”) from the exclusive Death Cab for Cutie X-Session at the 91X studio.

8 a.m.
Vanilla Ice’s striped-eyebrow trend has made an unwelcome comeback at an Oregon school.

The infamous bank teller that has caught young Carlos’ eye called in today. Mat asked what she thought about not being introduced to anyone, being abandoned for a hot dog, knowing Carlos’ lack of income, and finding out he lives with his mom. She didn’t care about any of it. Mat asked what her relationship with her father is like.

QUESTION: Where is the ‘ballsiest’ place you’ve picked someone up?

Answers: Mat asked out the first girl he saw when he woke up after a snowboarding-related concussion when he was younger. Mahoney picked up a girl on Craigslist last week.
Calls included a Jewish lad picking up a young lady at a Catholic Church, cougars and creepers at Chuck E. Cheese, mandatory highway clean-up for a DUI, and the winning call from a guy who got lucky at a landfill.

9 a.m.
In case anyone missed it yesterday, the gang checked in with the Drunk Dial Line from over the weekend. 91X’s Loudspeaker SD hosts Rowley and Preston provided incoherent commentary from Coachella. Preston noted that Rowley was, “the only f#%king clown there in flannel.” Yesterday also marked the return of the Mt. Helix Sand Yeti (click for exclusive photographic evidence.)

Pop Trash: DUI’S, babies, and sex with Cher—oh my!

What did we learn?
Intern Sammi learned that it is a sad day for mustaches when the two coolest people the gang could come up with that have them were Tom Selleck and Wilford Brimley.
Mahoney learned that there is no need to go to The Tubs to meet someone, just head to the local landfill!
Carlos and Mat learned that Intern Sammi has recently formed an all-girl Beastie Boys cover band. They plan to exploit this recent development on the show tomorrow.

-SS

5:30 a.m.

 

Mat Diablo added Gerontophobia to his impressive and ever-expanding index of fears.

 

 

 

6 a.m.

 

The 91X morning show continued to offer Mr. and Mrs. San Diego a do-nothing way to be involved with the democratic process by way of “F#%k you, Steve!” t-shirts.

 

 

 

Mat, Mahoney and Carlos found out that the place to be last weekend was actually outside of Coachella pillaging the “amnesty barrels.”  Last year, a bountiful supply of everything from Acid to Zanex was harvested from drug-addled concert-goers.

 

 

 

What’s on the Internet? http://mancrush.com/mc/unit 

(Mahoney visited the site and spent his night “getting his John Adams on.”)

 

 

 

Rowley and Preston  of 91X’s Loudspeaker SD used the Drunk Dial Line as their personal means of correspondence from Coachella this weekend, offering insight to the festival that could only come from two such upstanding young gentlemen. Their coverage will air again tomorrow, in case you missed it.

 

 

 

7 a.m.

 

Mat Diablo, the captain of the drunken ship that is the morning show, decreed that his first mates Mahoney and Carlos are among the worst kinds of people in the world.

 

 

 

Mahoney celebrated Mustache Monday with the kind of handlebar mustache that goes hand-in-hand (or cheek-to-cheek) with assless chaps. Even the Flobots couldn’t ignore a handlebar of that caliber.

 

 

 

Mat announced that MGMT has joined the X-Fest lineup. According to Mat, the Ivy League, Indie rockers will be giving a dissertation before the show. He also commented on how, coincidentally, the band joined the bill right after Coachella, and speculated that Rowley and Preston somehow managed to book them in a professionally successful drunken stupor—by far the rarest of all stupors.

 

 

 

Pop Trash:  Miley Cyrus sacrifices dignity for ‘art’   and “The Hoff is getting sex tonight.”

 

 

 

8a.m.

 

 

 

 

In response to Mayor Jerry Sanders’ catchy exclamation of the expletive, “F#%k you, Steve,” Steve Francis commented that the mayor of the second largest city in California should not be acting like that. Mahoney wondered what the mayor of San Francisco had to do with Sanders, and guessed that the mayor of the third largest city in California is free to say whatever the F#%k he wants.

 

 

 

Mat and Mahoney received minor notability in the local media, and hundreds of emails regarding the “F#%k you, Steve!” t-shirts—the ‘must-have’ of this mayoral season. They selflessly donated a handful to Frank, the vice president of the San Diego Firefighters Union, in exchange for an invitation to the next pancake breakfast. The rest of the shirts will be doled out on a ‘first-come, first-serve’ basis. (http://f#%kyousteve.com/)

 

 

 

Mat offered $250 to anyone who could get a picture with Mayor Jerry Sanders wearing one of the “F#%k you, Steve!” shirts.

 

 

 

QUESTION: What are you afraid of?

Mat—in addition to asteroids, pine beetles, and the universe—revealed that he fears Amy Winehouse’s mouth and big, monster muppets.

Mahoney fears balding, and his debit card not working due to malfunctioning technology.

Carlos fears Del Taco and the Golden Girls.

Calls included a fear of chalk and chalkboards, nude grandmothers, and Richard Simmon’s balls.

 

 

 

Capone added Steve West’s hair to the fear list, and Mat added Capone’s eyeliner.

 

 

 

9 a.m.

 

A Def Leppard concert attendee named Fatty drunk-dialed the request line instead of the Drunk Dial Line (easy to see why he would make that mistake…) in his Crown Royal-induced morning buzz.

 

 

 

The gang spent entirely too much time together this weekend, and shared their experiences with the listeners:

Saturday: They attended boss-man-Phil’s pool party, where Mahoney was “that guy” who brought gym shorts and a t-shirt to swim in. Later, Mat and Mahoney attended the Morrissey cover band show at U31 where Mat heroically bought all 91X listeners a round of shots.

Sunday: the morning show crew and listeners attended the Padres game against the Diamondbacks. Mahoney and Intern Sammi did not arrive until the third or so inning because of parking problems. They scoured the streets for a space, and ended up finding a prime spot somewhere in Chula Vista. They walked from there, and the two out-of-staters are no longer allowed to venture out on their own.

Meanwhile, Carlos was tailgating (alone) in the parking garage with a flask of whiskey. He invited his bank teller to the game, but proved a less-than-desirable date when he ignored her for a sloppy hot dog.

Mat, the testosterone-fueled fighting machine he is, picked a fight with some D-Back fans on the trolley ride home.

 

 

 

More Pop Trash: Someone tried to blow up a Bon Jovi concert.

 

What did we learn?

 

Carlos quit.

Mahoney learned that he should have never given Rowley and Preston his cell phone number.

Mat learned that Sean Astin is the least crushed-on man and that there must be square-shaped birth canals.

 

 

 

Tomorrow:

 

Death Cab for Cutie X-Session audio and an exclusive interview! Also, Carlos’ bank teller.

 

-SS

5:30 a.m.

Mat Diablo, always at the forefront of Morrissey’s fanatical fan-base, has already laid out his favorite Smiths t-shirt and Kleenex box in preparation for the Morrissey/The Smiths cover band playing at U31 on Saturday night.

 

 

 

6 a.m.

 

Mat mentioned the Pop Trash story from yesterday about Wesley Snipes being sentenced to three years in jail after repeatedly neglecting to pay his taxes. Mahoney thought Snipes was appropriately sentenced to one year in jail for each film in the “Blade” series.

 

 

 

The gang tapped into the Drunk Dial Line to see if any loud lushes left a message worthy of the newly established Drunk Dial Line Hall of Fame. A lot of giggling girls and a guy singing lyrics somewhat reminiscent of a Nelly song entertained, but were not degrading enough to join the ranks of the lone honoree—the drunk, dying grunt from Monday, April 21—in the Hall of Fame. Mat speculated as to the whereabouts of the man behind the grunt.

 

 

 

Mat and Mahoney treated listeners to a special 2-for-1 serving of ‘What’s on the Internet?’

 

1. FUSteve.com (Now equipped with t-shirts!)

2. http://achewood.com/

 

 

 

There was a brief awkward moment when Mat, Mahoney and Carlos all changed into their matching “F#%k you, Steve!” t-shirts in the middle of the studio, only to change out of them a few minutes later. It also gave everyone a chance to check out the unimpressive result of Mat’s Mystic Tan.

 

 

 

Clint Eastwood flick or gay porn? (Part Two)

A listener won Death Cab for Cutie X-Session tickets and passes for Saturday at Coachella by knowing that “Magnum Force,” “Bronco Billy,” and “City Heat” are all Eastwood masterpieces. It was revealed that every answer was Eastwood because Mat was afraid to search for gay porn. Yet, he giggled when he told the caller that she “won the package.”

 

 

 

7 a.m.

Mat and Mahoney announced that the “F#%k you, Steve!” movement officially had t-shirts to give away.

 

 

 

Gene Simmons, in an act of pure randomness, called the request line just to tell the guys that they have the greatest morning show in San Diego. He also reminded them that KISS is the greatest band, and will be going on a world tour soon with a surprise drummer. Mat, impeccably improvising an interview, questioned Simmons about which KISS memorabilia would be fitting for his (imaginary) friend’s birthday. And as arbitrarily as the call began, it ended.

 

 

 

Mahoney was skeptical that it was actually Simmons, while Mookie announced that he is, in fact, the surprise drummer.

 

 

 

Mat Diablo, after unexpectedly being KISSed, brought the focus back to the “F#%k you, Steve!” revolution. He explained that it is not an endorsement for Mayor Sanders, just a basic appreciation and celebration of a local figure unafraid of his humanity.

He was also 90 percent sure he saw Steve Francis (“F#%k you, Steve!”) at dinner last night, but was unable fully recognize him without his pancake makeup (pancake-up?) and posse of little furry woodland creatures surrounding him.

 

 

 

It was declared that the “F#%k you, Steve!” movement is (rightfully) taking on a mind of its own.

 

 

 

Pop Trash: The gang scoffed at plans for Jimmy Fallon to fill Conan O’Brien’s soon-to-be-empty Late Nite seat.

 

 

 

John Cho called in to talk about his new movie, “Harold and Kumar Go Somewhere and Do Something,” in theaters today. The plot can be explained word-for-word by the title followed by “…and hilarity ensues.” The two points of interest from this interview were 1.  Cho can be seen next May in the new “Star Trek” movie as Mr. Sulu, and 2. Cho’s manager is an insufferable douche.

 

 

 

8 a.m.

 

A man who works at City Hall that often crosses paths with Jerry Sanders requested a “F#%k you, Steve!” t-shirt so the mayor could see it in passing. A man who lives on Sanders’ street made a similar request, as did a guy who simply wanted to post up in front of the Sanders endorsement poster on his lawn and drink beer. Ask and ye shall receive… while supplies last.

 

 

 

 

Mat brought up some of Ruggy’s comments from the Absinthe party audio including, “Someone’s gonna get pregnant tonight,” and the occasional yelp of “VIETNAM!”

 

 

 

QUESTION: What is your weirdest/coolest/best celebrity encounter?

 

 

 

The stakes—tickets to a Death Cab for Cutie X-Session on Monday and passes to Coachella for Saturday.

 

 

 

Mat told the tale of the time he accidentally ate James Iha’s burrito in an airport in a drunken stupor.

Mahoney’s friend once kicked Kato Kalen’s ass at a St. Louis wafflehouse at 3 a.m.

 

 

 

Callers’ experiences included an Arby’s date with Flavor Flav, rear-ended by Tony Gwynn, and Sylvester Stallone at a gun shop.

The winner was a girl who met Michael Jackson at a funeral and was subsequently invited to Neverland Ranch to “meet his monkey.”

 

 

 

Breaking News: A 66-year-old triathlete was killed from a shark attack in Fletcher Cove. Surfers and swimmers were advised to vacate the water from Del Mar to Cardiff until authorities could secure the area. MSNBC picked up the story shortly after, and may be consulted for details as it unfolds throughout the day.

 

 

 

The show ended on a somber note, sending condolences to anyone in the area who knew the victim.

 

 

 

What did we learn?

 

Carlos learned that Gene Simmons is a huge fan of the 91X Morning Show.

Mahoney learned that ‘The Tubs’ is the place to be for Hepatitis C.

Mat learned that Gene Simmons is like Jesus—he’s everywhere.

Sammi the intern learned that Dimebag Darrell is buried with Eddie Van Halen’s guitar in a KISS coffin.

And that’s news you can use.

 

 

-SS

5:30 a.m. The Morning Show recapped yesterday’s high jinks, all the while drooling and dreaming about what was to come at 7:45—Beer party!       6 a.m. Mat Diablo inhaled deeply and proclaimed that he loves the smell of deceit and pandering in the morning. On a related note, Mayor Jerry Sanders became the new hero of the morning show with three simple words, “F#%k you, Steve!” * He made such an impression on Mat and Mahoney that they bought 2 variations of the domain name of the now infamous phrase (spelled out in its entirety for the mature listeners, as well as the abbreviated form for the kiddies) and plan on making some badass t-shirts to support Sanders and the site. Mahoney requested that the t-shirts be censored enough to be Houlihan’s, Chili’s, and Applebee’s-friendly.  Mat doubted Mahoney is Houlihan’s, Chili’s, and Applebee’s-friendly.        *Just want to make sure everybody knows this is about Steve Francis, Sanders’ opponent. NOT Steve West, NOT Steve Buscemi, and NOT you, if your name happens to be Steve.               Mat said that only a white guy would rob someone with a sword (he can say “white guy” because he is now orange from his Mystic Tan addiction.)       A concise, intellectual debate about Three Days Grace: Mahoney: I love Canadians. Mat Diablo: You love butt rock.       Steve Francis (“F#%k you, Steve!”) is discussed further. Mat described the hypocrisy of his past role as a Republican in a corrupt system run by redneck hillbillies (Nevada’s government), compared with his new image of spending his millions doing cartwheels on the beach and holding hands with turtles. Mahoney, representing both Republicans and hillbillies, did not disagree.       According to Mat, John McCain loves the song “Handlebars” because he was around when bikes were invented.       What’s on the Internet? http://f#%kyousteve.com/        New Game! Clint Eastwood film or gay porn? The listener knew that “Dirty Harry” and “Every Which Way But Loose” are Eastwood films, but guessed incorrectly when she said “Francis in the Navy” was gay porn. Still, she won tickets to the Death Cab for Cutie X-Session and passes for Saturday at Coachella.       7 a.m. Carlos was thrilled about guessing the name of the upcoming Weezer album on his first try (Red Album.)       The gang summed up what happened on the Ultimate Fighter— Jesse got drunk and Patrick got side fungus. Mahoney mentioned a move called the “arm bar” and one called the “rear naked choke.” Possible new game: Ultimate fighting move or gay porn?       Pop Trash: “That is SO Raven of him to go missing.”  The crew “yayed” and “nayed” FHM’s picks for top ten foxes.       Beer for Breakfast! Mahoney chose this week’s beer because it had a bear with antlers on the label. A caller informed the gang that the gibberish on the label actually translates to “It’s not just for breakfast anymore.” How appropriate! Mahoney explained that a necessity of a beer glass is a “large mouth with ample room for head.” Again, possible new game: Beer terminology or gay porn?       8 a.m. Mat goes through the multiple stages of drunk in about thirty seconds.       A mandate (not to be confused with “man date”) is formed: “It’s not gay if it happens at the gym.”       The men of the morning discussed man-crushes. Mat’s included Jerry Sanders, Gerald McRaney (of “Major Dad” fame), Michael Turko (from KUSI), and a waiter that served them the other day because he complimented Mat by comparing his laugh to Kevin Spacey’s. Mahoney’s included John Adams (yes, the second president of the U.S. and a close friend of John McCain), “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, and Steve Mazzagatti (“F#%k you, Steve!”) Carlos’ included Anderson Cooper (who, lucky for Carlos, is gay), Dikembe Mutombo, Jack White, and Steve West.       Question: Who is YOUR man or wo-man crush?       Answers from the ladies included Xena: Warrior Princess, Wynona Ryder and Jenny McCarthy.       Man-on-man-crushes included Jim from the Office, the Braveheart-version of Mel Gibson, Walker Texas Ranger, and a Death Cab for Cutie X-Session/Coachella Saturday pass winning answer of Crockett from Miami Vice.       9 a.m. Mat begged for more breakfast—beer for breakfast, that is.       Mat dubbed the food-rationing story the beginning of The Great Depression 2.0. Mahoney didn’t care because only hippies eat rice.       “I listen to the 91X Morning Show and all I got was this lousy Steve West T-shirt.”       Mat told the tale of a man who heckled Laura and Jenna Bush, and then proceeded to punch a wheelchair-bound girl scout whose parents told him to pipe down.       What did we learn? Carlos learned that his man-crush is gay and Mahoney got Hepatitis from a burrito. Mahoney and Mat both learned that neck herpes = game over. Mat also learned that Carlos is racist toward himself.       Tomorrow: John Cho from Harold and Kumar will be on the program, more on the “man date,” more Death Cab for Cutie tickets, and Ruggy!   -SS

 

5:30 a.m.

 

Mat is upset that nobody noticed his different look today. Mahoney thought Mat looked fat, Carlos thought he got a haircut. Somehow nobody noticed that his hands were orange. Turned out he has been Mystic Tanning in Hillcrest. Mahoney noted that while Mat was in the shower exfoliating and prepping for his Mystic Tan, real men were out in his yard doing landscaping work. Mat is conflicted about this.

 

 Mahoney’s date with girl from Sea World that he met on Craigslist  MySpace “went well,” but he insisted they talk about later.

Carlos insisted that he was surfing yesterday afternoon– not diving for lost weed at Sunset Cliffs.

 

 6a.m.

Mat and Carlos were angry at the state of Pennsylvania because of last night’s primaries. Mat bet Mahoney $100 that Obama will be our next president. Mahoney disagreed, but he doesn’t vote or believe in Hope.

 

 Mat revealed that he collects domain names. He claimed to own over 20 domain names, including thecarlosmontoya.com, whatsnotontheinternet.com, Ironmountainskiresort.com (a tribute site to a ski resort he used to go to that is now closed), mancandles.com (a business idea), Jeffgoldblumiswatchingyoupoop.net (??????), and the recently-added mahoneymeetsgirlsonmyspace.com.

 

 New game! “Guy, Girl, or Gay”. The guys found personals on Craigslist and listeners had to guess… you get the idea. More Death Cab for Cutie X-Session passes and Coachella tickets were given away to the winner who had an uncanny grasp of Craigslist personals.

 

 Whats on the Internet?  faildogs.com, loljocks.blogspot.com

 

 7a.m.

Mat was still orange, and angry at the guys for not accepting his need to “get his Mystic Tan on.” He said he is going surfing this weekend, and doesn’t want to be “the whitest dude on the beach.”  He also developed a complex about having a landscaper.

Mahoney had previously suggested that if Mat was unable to fulfill some of his manly duties (i.e. his own landscaping), then perhaps he should outsource the rest of his Man-duties (his wife’s needs.) Mat was so haunted by Mahoney’s words that when he met with the landscapers at his house yesterday, he punched one in the mouth for talking to his wife.

Pop Trash: Lindsey Lohan blames her parents for her continuous drinking problem. Shirley Temple turns 80, and Mat expresses surprise that not only is she not deceased, but he also thinks she is younger than John McCain.

 

 Headline: Urinal Elephant invades Japan

 

 8a.m.

 

 Mahoney recapped his Craigslist MySpace date. Carlos set up a lie detector test that shocks the user when said user lies. Mahoney was then questioned about his date while hooked up to the lie detector. He was shocked (literally) when Mat asked if he paid for dinner and if he had “participated in extracurricular activities” with his new friend.   In reality, Mahoney was 30 minutes late, took his date (who works at SeaWorld) to sushi, didn’t pay for dinner, and didn’t act like a gentleman. Mahoney swore he would never introduce his myspace friend to the morning crew.

 

 EXTREME JUSTICE LEAGUE! 

The guys talk to Mr. Extreme, the leader of the San Diego chapter of the Extreme Justice League. Mr. Extreme A.K.A. “Mr. Nag” is part of the new Real Life Superhero” movement. He told us that the Extreme Justice League is a group of people who go out to fight street crime in costume. (He’s in the midst of recruiting, no experience necessary.) The name for the EJL came from the XFL…Vince McMahon’s failed football experiment.

 

 

 

QUESTION: What would your superhero name be and why?

 

 Mahoney made it clear that he would be “Commander Douche.” Carlos would be “Mr. Bolt,” striking down all Charger-haters. Mat would be “Captain Napkin,” making sure that all messy eaters have napkins at hand. The winner of the Death Cab for Cutie tickets was “Mr. Electric,” a real-life electrician that would “fix stuff that was electrical.” Brilliant.

 

 9a.m.

Mahoney divulged even more details about the date. We found that his date looked a lot better in person than on myspace. She hails from Baltimore, and, just like Mahoney, is fascinated with guns and Yelp.com.

 

 WHAT DID WE LEARN?

The guys asked listeners what they learned. The fabulous “man date” package, that includes tickets to the Padres game on Sunday with the 91X Morning Show and $20 in concessions, was won by a listener that learned that he was not the only one “surfing” Sunset Cliffs for pot yesterday.

 

5:30 a.m.

Mat started the morning with a generous gift from his friends at Magic 92.5, Jagger and Christy, of a souvenir glass from the Monte Carlo in Las Vegas. Mahoney shared his Monte Carlo experience, noting that it is definitely not the greatest place in the world.     

 

6a.m.

The Morning show announced that “special” quarterback Eli Manning got married.  Carlos reminded everyone that San Diego doesn’t care about Eli Manning since he openly rejected playing for the Chargers a few years back. Since Mat is such a loving guy, he asked listeners, “What would you give Eli Manning as a wedding present?”  The winner, who would give “special” Eli a D in-a-box,  won a pair of tickets to a Death Cab for Cutie X-session.

 

Mat and Mahoney discussed the new political tactics that are being used to recruit the younger voter. The candidates have joined forces with the WWE to target the younger voters. Apparently, the younger vote is supposed to determine the outcome of the upcoming election.

 

What on the internet? Godhatesfurries.com

 

7a.m.
The long debate between Carlos and Mahoney about who is more popular with the ladies ends when the morning show interviews a few females that attended the Absinthe party last week.  When asked who has a better shot– Carlos, who lives with his mom, or Mahoney, who drives a Hyundai Sonata– it was determined that Mahoney has a much better shot than Carlos.  

Carlos readied his scuba gear after Mat announced that a boat with kilos of Marijuana sunk in Sunset Cliffs.   

 

Mahoney actually received a myspace message from Jesse’s mom (see yesterday’s blog) and she expressed her love to him. 

 

Pop Trash: Shannon Elizabeth and dancing partner, Derek Hough, are rumored to now be dancing horizontally, as they were seen in Malibu smooching one other. 

 

Mat’s celeb crush Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Jason Segel from the new movie “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” will appear on Leno. Check it out.

 

8a.m.

Mat is tired of Mahoney constantly calling him to hang out. After trying to get Mahoney a date for the past few weeks, it is revealed that he actually has a date tonight with someone he met on myspace. After a hearty chuckle, Mahoney adds that he was stoked by the fact that she has a cool job at Sea World.

A listener comes to his defense since she met her husband on myspace.  So, Mahoney DOES have a shot! Tonight after sushi, he will know if he has found his future wife.

 

“Question?” What is your worst online dating experience? 

 

The morning show wanted to know if any one has any advice for Mahoney as he goes off and meets this random person (that claims to be a woman, but may be a “Furry.”) The winner of passes for a Death Cab For Cutie X-session and tickets for Saturday at Coachella was a listener who thought she was meeting an entrepreneur, but actually lived in a motel with a shirt-press machine that he referred to as his business. 

9a.m.

The gang took calls for another winner of “man date,” which includes hanging out with the morning show crew at the Padres game on Sunday in a section reserved just for them!

 

Tomorrow: the party continues with more Death Cab For Cutie tickets and Man Date packages!

 

 

 

-CT

5:30 a.m.

 

Mat Diablo could not stop gushing about his Sunday date (Sundate?) with the one and only Steve West. He blushed and giggled as he recalled his experience choosing the lineup for Resurrection Sunday.

 

6 a.m.

 

Mat’s fear of the Earth worsened as he described the treacherous tornadoes and quakes currently shaking up the U.S.

 

Mahoney and Carlos talked about how they spent their Saturday evening, shirtless, at casa de Diablo for the UFC fight they rated as “less than spectacular.” They consumed beer and pizza under Mat’s framed gold Morrissey records in his “man-den,” which was complied vase for vase and trinket for trinket from page 42 of the current Pottery Barn catalog.

 

What’s on the internet? Is it Christmas?

 

The gang played the wildly popular game, “The Answer Is Always Mustache,” which is exactly what it sounds like. The listener that knew Wilford Brimley  is NOT best known for his role in Cocoon, his love for Quaker Oats, or that he is actively opposed to cockfighting—but, indeed, for his wondrous mustache—won tickets to a Death Cab for Cutie  X-Session and passes for Saturday at Coachella. 

 

7 a.m.

 

Mat thanked the Padres for finishing their game in less than 20 innings.  

 

Mat, Mahoney and Carlos each completed an official “man-o-meter”  quiz to determine if their (sad) attempt at male-bonding over the weekend increased their masculinity. They conducted an interview with the man who developed this ‘o-meter’ which, like the UFC fight, proved much less than exhilarating. The results, however, seemed accurate. Sensitive, Morrissey-loving Mat scored more on the “feeling-oriented” side, while macho, martial-arts-loving Mahoney was more “thinking-oriented.” Of course, no one listened to the explanation from Dr. Eigen of what that exactly meant, so business went on as usual.

 

Pop Trash: “My first drunk driving accident and I hit Sandra Bullock!”  Also, Keanu Reeves likes guns and Tony Danza turned 57.

 

 The Drunk Dial Line provided a much-needed service this weekend for plenty of drinkers who knew to direct drunken gibberish to 91X instead of their friends and family. One particular partier was kind enough to hold his phone up to his face as he either vomited or died (no one could tell which) in a drunken grunt of sorts.  

 

8 a.m.

 

The morning show crew documented, as promised, their experience with the liquor of all liquors: Absinthe. Three or so hours of rigorous drinking were recorded and edited into five hilarious minutes.

Included: the lead singer of Smashmouth, Mahoney spits game like one of those 360-degree sprinklers, Mat paints something on the wall with urine, Carlos bangs chicks on his “roommate’s” bed, and intern Sammi is about as classy Courtney Love. 

 

Question: What is your most embarrassing moment with a coworker?

 

Inspired by Mahoney’s own Saturday night coworker trauma, answers included a lot of hands in places they shouldn’t be, a blown-up toilet, and a Death-Cab-ticket-winning tale of a young Church worker and her pregnancy test.

 

9 a.m.

 

Man date! One listener answered two out of three questions to win a “man date” with the morning show at an upcoming Padres game and $20 toward concessions. The only question she answered incorrectly was “How can a man make the boldest statement?” She chose option ‘b,’ a bright pink shirt with the collar popped, when she should have known that THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS MUSTACHE!

 

Mat hugged Mahoney. 

 

Jesse called in and said her mom wants to meet Mahoney. Mat asked if she was really ready to have Mahoney be her dad.

 

What did we learn?

 

Carlos learned that Capone is more of a man than Mahoney.

Mahoney learned that a plunger and an economy-sized tub of lube are not the best conversation starters.

Mat learned the grunt from the dying, drunk guy.

 

-SS

5:30 a.m.

Mat Diablo admitted to sipping slightly too much sake last night, resulting in a hangover this morning. Mahoney slipped him a Midol—the cure-all of feminine pharmaceuticals.

 

 6 a.m.
Mat said he smelled a lawsuit after the charges were dropped in the gnarly arsenic (gnarsenic?) case, but the biggest point of discussion was the fear of a billionaire’s plans to erect an extravagent new stadium  to lure a football team (possibly the Chargers) to Los Angeles.

 

Carlos said he could not support the ‘Los Angeles Chargers,’ and vowed to raise $60 million to keep the Bolts in San Diego. Mat agreed to help out by buying a Ladainian Tomlinson jersey, while Mahoney would do his part by consuming more beer at Charger games. Read about the arsenic case here. 

 

What’s on the internet? http://youngerthanmccain.com/ 

 

Mat and Mahoney discussed this Saturday’s UFC match between Serra and St. Pierre, or the ‘American Hero’ vs. the ‘Filthy French-Canadian.’

 

After it was revealed that every time Carlos referred to his roommate he was actually talking about his mom, Mat and Mahoney reevaluated their plan to watch the UFC fight on Carlos’ “roommate’s” giant TV. As appetizing as freshly squeezed lemonade and warm cookies sounded, the thought of spending the day sitting on plastic-coated sofas surrounded by doilies and potpourri did not seem like the right atmosphere to fully indulge in watching two sweaty men mercilessly beat each other into oblivion. Solution: Hooters.

 

7 a.m.

SPECIAL GUEST!

Jonny Moseley , Olympic gold-medalist skier /media personality, stopped by to talk about the collegiate nationals happening in San Diego this weekend. He said he’ll be hanging out at Mission Beach by the Wavehouse as college athletes from around the country compete in everything from flowboarding to competitive eating. He also told stories from his days as host of a Real World/Road Rules Challenge, as well as his involvement with Warren Miller films. His skiing career almost ended in the 91X studio as he tried to maneuver the broken chair and broken microphone given to him.

 

Pop trash- The Hoff is being forced to dip deep into his Knight Rider revenue to fund massive monthly payments to his wife and children as part of their divorce. Also, Jake Gyllenhaal is a diva.

 

Ruggy came by and talked about all the fun things going on around San Diego this weekend. Included were a beer haven in North Park called Ritual Tavern and a Vietnamese restaurant on El Cajon called Pho King that had to be mispronounced on air to be appropriate for all audiences. For everything going on, click here! 

 

8 a.m.

Absinthe, the infamous ‘Green Fairy’ venom that inebriated Van Gogh to the point of cutting his ear off, was recently legalized in the U.S.  The morning show crew thought this to be a fun thing to try (and record the experience) on a Friday night. The guys shared their plans and invited all their listeners to join them tonight at the Currant Brasserie (or “Brassiere” as Mat kept saying) in the Gaslamp on Front and Broadway to see what crazy shenanigans will ensue from the wrath of Absinthe.

 

QUESTION: What is your worst roommate experience?

The guys excluded Carlos from this segment and reprimanded him again for referring to his mom as his roommate. They make it clear that he is, if anything, more of a squatter than a roommate since he does not pay rent, or contribute anything to the greater good of his household. Answers included hairy twins, the Asian mafia, and plenty of prostitutes. However the X-fest tickets went to a guy whose one-legged roommate demolished his brand new speaker system while trying to hop around with a cup of juice.

 

9 a.m.

The guys celebrated Record Store Day by briefly talking about record stores.

 

Mat and Mahoney encouraged their listeners to use and abuse the 91X Morning Show Drunk Dial Line this weekend when they’re at their sloppiest! 

Leave a messy message anytime at (858) 560-5911.

 

Next Week:

Man date. Or Mandate. Mat and Mahoney want to take you to the Padres game against the D-Backs with the rest of the morning show crew! In addition to tickets, you’ll get $20 to spend on beer or a jersey or whatever else they offer at Petco Park!

And the Absinthe adventures.

 

-SS

 

5:30
Mat is convinced that today is going to be a terrible day. He precautioned everybody, saying that today was going to”have its way with you…with great vengeance and furious anger”. It started with a mysterious coin of unknown origin that was left for him on his desk. It had some sort of writing on it, and after a Google search it was determined that it was Moroccan in nature. This lead to him become furious with Morocco.

The guys touched on other things that make today terrible, including the fact that taxes are due and there is a 6.7 or higher earthquake forcasted for California.

This lead them to agree that today is indeed “That Sucks Day”

6A-The guys wholeheartedly endorsed this news story.
They called Mat’s wife, and it was agreed that she was indeed out of his league, and he thanked her for tolerating him and his wii-playing, no yard work doing, sorry ass.

 

WHATS ON THE INTERNET? www.hatsofmeat.com

They interviewed a nascar driver named “Red Johnson” about the recent NASCAR drug controversy.
He seemed unclear about what number his car was, and proceed to do multiple bong rips on the phone, which he wrote off as “just fishin”.

7AMThey played a game called “Discontinued Ben and Jerry’s Flavor or Band From MySpace” that they got from Mental Floss.
They gave away X-Fest tickets to the winner.

 

Pop Trash- Ashlee Simpson might be preggo with Pete Wentz’s baby. Mat thinks that the space-time continuum might actually tear apart if this is true.

Special Guest!
The guys interviewed Russell Brand from the new movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall. He is hilarious. They learned that he has a cat named Morrissey that he desperately wants to get in a photo with the real Morrissey. He advocated letting all of the animals out of the San Diego Zoo to see if they would assimilate into society and start small businesses. We also learned that contrary to what Mat Diablo thinks, the “C word” is equally offensive in the UK as it is in the US.

8AMahoney is doing his taxes in the studio during the show. Mat is angry that Mahoney hasn’t completed his taxes, hasn’t had his cable hooked up yet, and naps too much? Our new friend Raphael from the IRS joins on the show to answer tax-related questions. Mat thinks that if you don’t do your taxes the IRS will show up at your house, but a hood over your head, and perform an extraordinary rendition on your ass to Egypt or something. Several Ron Paul supporters call in to support the abolishment of the IRS.

 

QUESTION: What sucks? The guys interview the originator of “That Sucks Day”. They agree that the interview pretty much sucks. Calls include a girl that got kicked in the head by a horse but refuses to see a doctor, and a guy who claims to have been thrown off the Coronado Bridge by a CHP officer after running out of gas on the bridge.

9A

Mat Diablo and Mahoney presented Carlos with tickets to the sold out Eddie Vedder show tonight at Spreckles for doing such a good job on the show. They also begin calling him Carlos “The Dark Lord” Montoya due to the recent revelation that he loves a certain sex act that is so heinous that they only refer to it as the “act that shall not be named”. Carlos is visibly angry about their lack of acceptance. Mat doesn’t want Carlos to come to his house anymore.

The guys cover the earthquake story again, and Mat Diablo starts freaking out about the Earth and the universe. He is scared of Global Warming, earthquakes, asteroids, and the fact that the bees are disappearing from Earth? He claims to need an “eco-psychiatrist” to help him deal with his neuroses. He repeatedly exclaims “you can’t fight an earthquake!” Mahoney doesn’t care, doesn’t believe in global warming, and doesn’t care about the future, since he won’t be around.

Tomorrow on the show:

SDPD has put the kibosh on the local version of StreetWars. Commander Mustache from StreetWars will be on the show. More X-Fest tickets to give away and Mahoney goes to Fry’s to play “WHO WANTS TO MAKE A COMISSION?”.

-MD