There is a fake Mat Diablo out there! That’s scary!

The following is some audio from ‘Catching up’ with the 91X Morning show.

Carlos’ phone number, a great Tommy Chong interview and more…

 

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Hey, It’s Mookie and Carlos. 

We are hosting ‘Catching up’ with the 91X Morning Show all week… good times!

The boys will be back next week!

The following audio is from Monday. It includes the Rainn Wilson interview, getting to know Mahoney and more!

 

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Greetings from Boise, ID. I am currently making my way up to Canada…stopping here and there with no agenda whatsoever. It’s kinda nice that way.

In any case, I’ve got my trusty macbook with me and free wi-fi courtesy of “The Modern” hotel in Boise…so I made this. It is terrible. I am ashamed. Enjoy.

5:30 a.m.

Mat Diablo and Sammi the Intern had to start the show alone as a tumbleweed danced through the deserted hallways of Finest City Broadcasting.

Mat was able to get a hold of Carlos five minutes before the show began and, although he was asleep all the way up in Solana Beach, he was on his way to the studio.

Mahoney, however, was completely M.I.A.

Since Mat had better things to do than repeatedly call Mahoney (i.e. host the show), he enlisted thehelp of the listeners of the 91X Morning Show to do so. After an ethical dilemma and consulting with numerous callers, Mat decided to reveal Mahoney’s cell phone number over the air– the very same punishment that Carlos had previously received. Sammi had suggested he give out his address, instead, to make the wake-up call live.

Mahoney was not pleased.

6 a.m.

Christy Taylor’s birthday party is what brought the 91X Morning Show to PB last night. While Mahoney and Preston made it to the party, Mat and Carlos refused to wait in such a ridiculous line at Moondoggie’s.

So Mat wanted to know what the hell happened last night that prohibited Mahoney from waking up and coming into work.

In a far-less-than-enthralling recap, his phone died.

When he turned it on again this morning, he had 80 missed calls and 77 text messages. Again, he was not pleased.

Drunk Dial Line!

Included:

Mat got Diablo’d in Spanish; another Imagination Song remix, “I’m on vacaaation…”; the guy from the future called to tell us that he has a message to deliver through 91X over the weekend; Carlos’ future wife called to tell him she will give him all the shampoo and conditioner in the world; a love-hate relationship with us; “Hey, answering maching, f*ck off!”; “Hi, I’m drunk and I want to bang bitches.”; someone who hates Adam Carolle (?) and B-rock Obama; someone waiting for his Breakfast Jack; Morrissey guy checked in; a guy was drunk enough to propose to his girlfriend and she was so excited she threw up all over him–he blamed beer for breakfast; and a birthday song for Christy.

7 a.m.

Mat didn’t want to give $1500 Premeir Club Pepsi 500 Nascar Nextel Cup tickets to any fair-weathered fans, hence

THE NASCAR RODEO!

The game: two contestants who are knowledgable in the world of Nascar would take one another on round robin style to name as many current drivers as they possibly can.

Samantha and Sean went head-to-head, back and forth for six rounds until Sean could name no more.

He should have known better than to take on a lil’ lady from Lakeside!

Pop Trash: Seinfeld to appear in Microsoft spots, Clooney buys new car for chick after a smash-up, Phelps makes out with Aussie swimmer, and rehab center linked to Dr. Drew investigated.

8 a.m.

Ruggy came in to help you Get Your Yelp On at patios and rooftops around San Diego!

Starlite on India: try the Starlite Mule and ask to be seated outside!

J Six on J Street: great rooftop Padres pre-party!

PECS on University and Georgia: happy hour from noon-8 p.m. daily!

Also: Triple Crown, Moonstone Lounge, South Beach Bar and Girll in OB, Wine Steals and Shakespeare’s Pub!

Where to get your event on:

Frank Black @ Del Mar

Broken Social Scene @ HOB

Joy Division night @ Tractor Room

Under the Influence of Giants @ Beauty Bar

Dave Matthews @ Cricket Wireless

SoCo Music Experience with Shark Attack, Buddy Akai, Kinky, the Black Keys and Common downtown

Hell on Heels burlesque @ Belly Up

A Hard Day’s Night @ Cinema Under the Stars

The Surf Dog Surf-a-Thon clinic @ Del Mar Beach

The Stay Classy End of Summer Fire Run from La Jolla to PB

Pink pancake breakfast hosted by Boobs on the Move in Del Mar

Lemon AID stand @ Bite in Hillcrest

As usual, check out yelp.com to fill your social calendar with all the best that San Diego has to offer.

Fatty called in live from Anza to brag about his brand new job at WalMart. With the aid of someone else’s urine, he peed his way past the drug test into the American workforce.

9 a.m.

Mat said that at the Wake and Bake Man Date, Carlos’ wet hair blowing in the wind on the boat made him look like one of the douches on the cover of a harlequin romance novel.

Mat replayed the birthday song the guys wrote and sang as a birthday present for Christy Taylor yesterday, in case you missed it!

More Pop Trash: Ryder ridin’ Green.

Steve West stole a gift intended for Mat. He then claimed it as his own, opened it, and ate it in front of him.

Carlos thanked Mahoney for showin’ up late.

Sammi thanked whoever it was that lent Fatty their urine so that he could get a job at WalMart.

Mahoney thanked the 121 people that called and texted him this morning.

Mat thanked Christy Taylor for being alive.

Steve West thanked Mat for the gift.

-SS

 

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5:30 a.m.

After teasing Carlos for his one-liner in the Grossmont College spot (”Grossmont is my college!”), Mat Diablo admitted that his Alma mater was far less impressive than a junior college. He called UNLV “a day care for overpriveledged kiddies burning through their parents money and strippers with babies.”

Mahoney forgot the beer for Beer for Breakfast. Thus, the segment will be replaced with a timeline-format journey through the life of Morrissey as presented by Mat Diablo.

Mat, renown regionalist*, reported that the state of Arizona committed suicide after Mahoney said he’d rather spend the entirety of his life in the Midwest than even fly over the dreary desert of our Eastern neighbor.

*A regionalist is essentially a racist, but the discrimination is seeded in what area of the United States someone was born, or grew up in, rather than skin color. Mat stereotypes people, usually from the Midwest, by lumping them all into unfitting, inaccurate portrayals of some askew version of the region that has no basis whatsoever–that is, other than his ignorance and undeserved hatred toward the region.

6 a.m.

Mahoney’s diet consists of foods you’d think could only be found at a carnival, or the bottom of a deep fryer.

Devotees will remember his attempt and completion of consuming 11,000 calories in seven or so hours.

So: he was dismayed when Mat told him about all of the press coverage and acclaim that Chip Franklin, the morning guy at KOGO talk radio, received for attempting (and failing) a 4,000 calorie challenge.

At first he thought Franklin must have ripped him off, but then everyone decided it was about as likely for him to have been listening to the 91X Morning Show as it would be for them to listen to him. (Never.)

Carlos wanted to call and challenge him to something. Then he realized that the two show’s buildings are attached, and he would probably just come over and yell at us.

So Mahoney challenged him to this: they will simply wait and see who dies first.

What’s on the Internet? http://greensingles.com/

MAN DATE (Mandate) VII: The Quickening or…

 More Suits and Cigars!

Join the guys at the Turf Club at the Del Mar Racetrack (again) tomorrow for another classy night with the 91X Morning Show! 

Not only will food and cigars be provided for your eating and smoking pleasure, but 91X wants to give you cash, use of an on-hand handicapper to make sure you win big, and valet parking so you can arrive in style!

A truly high-class affair, proper attire (suits and dresses) must be worn. Also, the copious amounts of alcohol that will be consumed require that all attendees be at least 21.

7 a.m.

Inspired by Mahoney’s tolerate-anything-for-a-hot-girl attitude, Mat wanted to find out what one little thing a girl, no matter her hotness level, would have to do to push him past his threshhold in a segment entitled:

Dealbreakers.

For Mahoney, arm hair is a dealbreaker. It weirds him out to no end if a girl’s arms are hairier than the Mahanimal himself.

Mat has broken up with a girl because she had this one barely noticable, yet creepy, baby tooth. Another ex could not, not dress like a stripper. Also, he can never handle the pressure of being someone’s first. (He had many more dealbreakers; he’d break up with people for a lot less than they do on Seinfeld.)

Carlos’ dealbreaker is when a girl’s favorite color is pink, or her phone or shirt is bedazzled.

Callers’ dealbreakers included Yankee fans, psychologists, and bad feet.

Pop Trash: Sean Penn is backing Nader, Matt Damon welcomes baby, Affleck knocked up Garner again, Jessica Simpson endorses beer, and Verne Troyer to star in reality TV show.

***It must be noted that Mahoney defended Spencer Pratt during pop trash. Shame.

8 a.m.

BEER FOR BREAKFAST!

Today Mahoney vigorously drank Bear Republic Racer 5 IPA in order to provide you, the listener, with a thorough experience of beer for breakfast.

Racer 5 is an American Indian Pale Ale. Mat asked if that meant it was Native American. Mahoney just solemnly shook his head.

Mahoney is a self-proclaimed hophead. Its bold taste made him feel like

he had just been slapped in the face for making an inaproppriate comment to a woman about her ass.

Mat, however, said it tasted like bong water.

Mahoney smiled and admired the bottle filled with sweet liquid the color of sunshine.

Mat compared its scent to kimchi (a Korean dish of fermented cabbage.) Or the trays of sushi available for purchase at grocery stores and gas stations.

Racer 5 placed 5th in the IPA category in the last World Beer Cup.

Mahoney rated it a 4.3 of 5 on Mahoney’s Scale of Beer Supremacy.

Mat brought his guitar and Mahoney wrote a song to call Christy Taylor and sing her a birthday melody, but she would not answer her phone. So, Carlos began furiously calling her and leaving messages saying, “HELP!” and, “THERE’S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!”

She was not pleased. And subsequently refused to come on air.

9 a.m.

SPECIAL GUEST!

Tony Hawk called from a bus in the middle of a mountainous road in the Pacific Northwest to talk about this year’s Boom Boom Huck Jam, stopping in San Diego this Saturday.

Joining him on the excursion is his seven-week-old daughter. Mat asked what she’s into: breast-feeding and looking out the window. (Not so different than Mahoney.)

Mat asked Tony for his reaction to Andy MacDonald beating his record for number of skateboarding medals. Tony, true to form as a humble guy, said that he is really proud of him. He never regrets getting out of the game; and is glad to see the plethora of talent, both new and old, pushing the sport further than anyone thought possible.

Mat and Mahoney finally got a hold of (read: woke up) Christy Taylor, and sang her the song they haphazardly scraped together as a gift.

It was an interesting mix of hitting on her, sexual harrassment, and Mahoney’s phone number.

Mat also apologized for thinking she was from the Jersey Shore, and for telling her she looked hung over when she was completely sober.

Happy birthday, Christy!

-SS

Samuel Adams Black Lager

Sam’s Black Lager has 4.9% ABV. Served from a 12oz Brown Bottle that was brewed on a unknown date but best used by November 08. The beer was purchased at Vons on Claremont Mesa at 9:45 p.m. on August 5^th. It was priced at $6.99 for a 6 pack…it WAS on sale.

Sam’s Black is a Schwarzbier (”shvahrts-beer”) which is simply German for black beer. Unlike other dark beers, like porters or stouts, they are not overly bitter with burnt and roasted malt characteristics. Hops are used for a good portion of the bitterness. They’re usually very refreshing.

Proper Glassware: Flute, Pilsner Glass

Serve @: 40-45°F

Look: Dark as the night with a with a beautiful lingering leathery head. The lacing slowly creeps down the side of glass as I continue to drink it.

Smell: Hints of hops and alcohol with coffee and chocolate bursting through

Taste: Clean with mild roasted hops floating on top with a carmel undertone. Smooth all the way through to the finish that’s screams of hand picked coffee beans.

Feel: Full bodied. Nice.

Drinkability: This beer is very tasty. I would prefer it to have alittle more alcohol to be a regular on my list but good none the less.

Food pairing recommendations: schnitzel or bratwursts

3.3 out of 5 on the Mahoney’s Beer Scale of Supremacy

 

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5:30 a.m.

Carlos never bothered to give Mahoney the password to the eharmony account he set up as a birthday gift. So: last night MaLonely reset the password and logged in to find out that a certain drunk Dark Lord had taken the liberty of filling out some of the profile fields; his interests were cheeseburgers, and his idea of a good time was Nintendo.

6 a.m.

Mahoney suggested the 91X Morning Show trade Carlos for EXA FM’s Tony Baloney.

Drunk Dial Line!

Included:

Mahoney’s balls begged to be tickled and played with; a song about Christy Taylor being integrated (?); Georgia got Diablo’d by Russia, the ugly little Chinese girl got Diablo’d by her government, Michael Phelps Diablo’d the competition; an agressive caller vowed to stop calling, then called again; someone butt-dialed us; a redneck ordered everyone to stop ragging on Carlos, and listed all of his “good” qualities; Javier called out Fatty; someone called Capone a douche; and Grossmont is Carlos’ college.

What’s on the Internet? http://www.davidhasselhoff.com/

MAN DATE (Mandate) VII: The Quickening or…

 More Suits and Cigars!

Join the guys at the Turf Club at the Del Mar Racetrack (again) this Friday for another classy night with the 91X Morning Show! 

Not only will food and cigars be provided for your eating and smoking pleasure, but 91X wants to give you cash, use of an on-hand handicapper to make sure you win big, and valet parking so you can arrive in style!

A truly high-class affair, proper attire (suits and dresses) must be worn. Also, the copious amounts of alcohol that will be consumed require that all attendees be at least 21.

7 a.m.

Mat wanted to discuss the Amethyst Initiative– a propostition gaining ground on college campuses to lower the legal drinking age to 18. College professionals feel that the current age, 21, encourages dangerous binge drinking on campus, and is responsible for a number of alcohol-related deaths that occur year after year.

Mahoney doesn’t believe that 18 year olds are ready to handle the responsibility that is necessary for heavy, legal drinking. He would, however, make an exception for those in the military; “If they can carry a gun in one hand, they can surely handle a beer in the other.” Thus, a military ID should suffice for those who have had to grow up beyond their years.

Mahoney was also worried that everyone would be going to the bars with fake, 18-year-old IDs, “and then all of a sudden you’re sleeping with a 16 year old.”

A plethora of callers mostly agreed that the drinking age should stay put. One even suggested it be raised to 25.

Mat doesn’t agree with the initiative just because he doesn’t want a bunch of 18 year olds at his bars.

Instead, he supported age segregation in drinking establishments, with special watering holes made of rubber walls and a drain in the middle of the floor to accomodate the annoying, unexperienced drinkers.

Carlos added that punching bags should probably be intact as well, for the hot-headed ruffians.

Pop Trash: Dave Matthews Band sax player passed away, Bobby Brown sued over big bill, Ellen luckiest woman in the world, and Kattan and Sunshine split.

8 a.m.

HOW’S YOUR MUTHA!

Brian, 24, had to confront his mother, Susan, and ask her the last time she, as he put it, “did the horizontal mambo.”

He gave Mat and Mahoney a little insight into his relationship with his mother, and what kind of woman she is. Susan lives in Salinas, and is in a long-term serious relationship with a glass-blower, Brian. He stays with them on occasion, and has suspected some sexy shenanigans. 

Susan and Brian the Blower, in turn, stayed with Brian in his PB apartment for a week not too long ago. He hoped they didn’t bring the shenanigans down with them.

Susan seemed apprehensive when she answered her phone, but Brian began, “I know you and Brian are pretty fee-willed…”

After she confirmed that she got down and dirty within the last week (three days ago), Brian won admission to Man Date VII at the Turf Club.

Before saying adieu to Susan, Mahoney asked if she had, indeed, gotten busy in Brian’s PB apartment. “Of course! I was there for a week.”

The 91X Morning Show loves to award the brand of awkward courage it takes to interrogate one’s mother about her sex life, so tune in until the next edition of….

How’s Your Mutha!

9 a.m.

Keith, a caller, has been hounded Carlos for two weeks now to get in on Mandate VI: Wake and Bake.

Mat and Mahoney decided to stage a hearing, let him air his tragic tale, and thus decide if he deserves admission aboard. 

It began as children. All Keith and his cousin ever dreamed of was owning a wakeboard boat; they could be out at sea, thrashing in the wake of a beautifal boat whenever they wished. Finally last year, they had done it. They bought a boat and put it in Keith’s name. And life was good. 

Four months later…

Keith got a divorce. His old lady took his truck. She took years off his life. But worst of all, she took his boat.

And then, she pawned it. For $1000, no less.

Mat’s heart melted as a single tear left a wake down his cheek. He knew what had to be done. An invitation was extended and accepted in an emotional display of camaraderie.

And that is what a Man Date is all about.

Carlos Montoya, an enterprising young man, has come up with another scheme to “get dat booty cheddar,” as Mahoney put it.

First he tried to wrap his car with advertisements. After looking into it, however, it was apparent that the plan was both cost-prohibitive and illegal.

Next he attempted to donate his seed. He went into his appointment drunk, and didn’t make it past the screening process.

Now he wants to engage in clinical studies. The way he sees it: a free place to stay (the hospital), free lunch (hospital food), and $4000 (in exchange for his health and safety.)

The whole idea makes Mat uneasy; but Carlos is unafraid of any injections of mysterious substances that the powers that be plan to put into his body–so long as he gets paid.

Calls included: Scott, who has been donating bone marrow in a lifetime study for no reprocations, but looks fondly upon the experience; Jamie, who received $500 to try the birth control shot that gave her a ripping headache for 24 hours; and Michelle, who was paid $100 for all of her ten visits to test a new birth control and received a free year’s worth of the product at the end of it all.

Stubborn Carlos admitted he would cut off a finger for $4000, if the offer were to arise.

Mat asked, “What if they took your ring finger, the finger that one day you will need when you tie the knot to the love of your life?”

His response, “I’m not getting married… schwing!” (And he made a cutting motion on his finger.)

More Pop Trash: Paris Hilton denies having a boob job.

 Carlos thanked Michelle for keeping him motivated and Grossmont for being his college.

Mahoney thanked Susan for gettin’ down in his son’s apartment.

Mat thanked himself for saying, “I don’t want to live in a world where babies can’t get drunk.”

 

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5:30 a.m.

Mahoney, again, woke up five minutes before the show began. His inability to heed his alarm’s call inspired Mat Diablo to invent The Ruben Galvan Laugh Alarm Clock–not to be confused with the Steely Dan Alarm Clock used (often) on Sammi the Intern when she dozes off.

Mat tends to pee in his own backyard (?). He recently received a note from his neighbor notifying him that when he engages in this primal act, he is perfectly visible to them. He couldn’t tell if the tone of the note was angry or perverted or complimentary.

Meanwhile, Mahoney hasn’t slept in his own bed in weeks because he is too lazy to retrieve his sheets from his dryer and put them back on his bed.

6 a.m.

Mat and Mahoney were, not by any means, welcomed with open arms when the show began in April. Mat compared it to walking into a saloon and everyone becomes silent and turns to look at you. A barstool squeaks, and you know you’re about to get your ass kicked.

They were much younger than the other morning shows, and never wanted to be like the “wacky” DJs you hear on every other station.

That said, Mat wanted to extend a warm welcome to the new(er) morning show in town– EXA 91.7’s “El Pacorro en la Mañana”– and try to form an alliance with our fellow newbies.

Carlos tried calling a variety of numbers to get a hold of them to propose said alliance, but none of them were available. Carlos even called 411, to no avail.

Finally, Carlos got a hold of Tony Baloney at EXA and offered him a big audio hug. They accepted, and promised to follow-up with an official diplomatic return call later in the show.

What’s on the Internet? http://qik.com/

MAN DATE (Mandate) VII: The Quickening or…

 More Suits and Cigars!

Join the guys at the Turf Club at the Del Mar Racetrack (again) this Friday for another classy night with the 91X Morning Show! 

Not only will food and cigars be provided for your eating and smoking pleasure, but 91X wants to give you cash, use of an on-hand handicapper to make sure you win big, and valet parking so you can arrive in style!

A truly high-class affair, proper attire (suits and dresses) must be worn. Also, the copious amounts of alcohol that will be consumed require that all attendees be at least 21.

7 a.m.

Mat tried (again) to defend his backyard bathroom usage. Apparently sometimes his wife takes too long to get ready, occupying the bathroom for infinite amounts of time.

It also makes him feel free, like he’s camping. He even enjoys walking past his working toilet to relieve himself in the great outdoors.

The only problem is the houses are really close together in University Heights. Oh and it’s disgusting.

The afore-mentioned note from his neighbor said, “I saw you peeing.” Mat still feels like he is well within his rights as an American citizen.

A caller, Christy, didn’t understand why Mat couldn’t just pee in front of his wife. Another caller, Chris, had (literally) been on the other side of the fence when he lived in Boise. He saw his neighbor peeing, and even awkwardly made eye contact with him during the act.

Most callers agreed with Mat citing that anywhere outside is fair game. And he’s saving water.

Pop Trash: Applegate healing, Swayze still smokin’, Heidi Montag compares herself to Jesus, and Phil Collins sets divorce pay-out record.

Tony Baloney and El Pacorro called in and dual-broadcasted the official agreement of an alliance between the two young morning shows. At 91.1 and 91.7, we took over the entire spectrum within 91on the dial. A powerful alliance, indeed!

Mat and Mahoney were overwhelmed by EXA 91.7’s collective excitement and charisma. They were funnier, more awake, and just made for an all-around better show. Mahoney tuned out from Mat and began listening to El Pacorro. He also asked Tony Baloney to hook him up with their mid-day girl.

8 a.m.

THE BOTTOM 40!

When Mat Diablo uses the little power he has to plummet past the pop on top and reach into the depths of the musical charts to dig some gems gleaming with promise and potential out from…

The Bottom 40.

Mat dedicated the release of the new The Academy Is… CD to Carlos (because he hates him.)

Staind was in honor of Mahoney.

New albums from Stereolab, The Ceasars, and The Walkmen are also out today.

This week’s featured tune from Mat’s personal musical piggy bank:

The ‘59 Sound – The Gaslight Anthem

9 a.m.

No one will go to greater lengths for a girl than Mahoney.

Last weekend, he painstakingly planned an epic date for his lady-friend to accompany him on.

He drove an hour and a half to Costa Mesa under the pretense that it would end with him sleeping at her house. He did receive the sleepover invitation, but after a no-turning-back point of inebriation. They passed out on separate couches.

The next day, Mahoney took her to his Superbowl–the Stone Brewery celebration. There she only let him drink 6 beers. She was hot, hung over, and worried about her dog; thus, they left early.

On the way down to San Diego after the Stone celebration (or the tiny bit of it that Mahoney experienced), Mahoney mentioned that he needed to swing by a sensible shoe store and grab comfier sandals. Instead, she talked him into a two-hour detour to make him buy the expensive (and charitable) Toms Shoes. Since she had such nice ta-tas, none of the mattered.

And then they got to the Padres game…

Mahoney was starving after he was forced to indulge in a completely vegetarian meal to satisfy his lady-friend’s animal-friendly appetite. As he reached for a Big Frank, she slapped his wrist and handed him a veggie dog.

Then she made him buy her a $75 Padres hoodie to rid her of her goosebumps. He took it all in stride, as she was supposed to spend the night. But, immediately after the final pitch, she told him how much she missed Henry, her pup pup.

When Mahoney first met Henry, he was wearing a doggie tuxedo. He should have known he couldn’t compete with that. So: he had no choice but to drive her all the way back up to Costa Mesa without so much as a thank you, let alone any other oral gratification (verbal or otherwise.)

The next day he wept and went to Fry’s to buy eight UFC dvds.

HEY MAHONEY! STOP going for high-maintenance girls!

Pop Trash: Brand to star in Rocky Horror remake!

Carlos thanked EXA FM and the scorpian woman that broke Mahoney’s heart this weekend.

Sammi the Intern thanked Tony Baloney for inspiring her to change her name to Sammi Hammy.

Mahoney thanked Alejandra Valesquez–or whatever the hot chick’s name is that works at EXA FM.

Mat thanked Pacorro!

-SS

 

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and then it’s time to put this joke to bed.