91X Morning Show with Mat Diablo

courtesy of best week ever.

5:30 a.m.

When Carlos arrived late to work this morning, Mat figured he had gone to Sam’s house again.

This was only half true as Carlos simply forgot to reset his alarm to accommodate the travel time to the studio, as opposed to the home his Del Mar brethren.

Sammi is moving. She found her old slutty Santa costume while packing up her clothes. She wore it to work.

Mat admitted that he used his pregnant wife as a shield against a trust fund bro he shot a NERF gun at last night in Del Mar.

Mat received Ruggy’s gift in their ”White Elephant” gift exchange last night: a package of bacon and a roll of toilet paper with jokes on it.

6 a.m.

 DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Included:

The real Creepy Mexican Santa invites Carlos over to his house at 123 Pedophile St.; a jock poll emancipates Mahoney for making out with Capone’s sister; The 91X Morning Show with Mat Diablo, Mahoney and Sammi, but not Carlos; anti-vasectomy; In Cahoots or the Chula Vista donut shop at 2 a.m.; Carlos’ mom sounded really hot (and she is); 2 Legit 2 Quit, ah ahw blunt; cold chicken nuggets from Wendy’s are the shit; and when in doubt, whip it out.

The VERY LAST installment and VERY BEST site featured on ”What’s on the Internet” in 2008:

http://upsidedowndogs.com/, of course!

San Onofre State Park and Trestles are safe! At least for now.

Yesterday a federal agency rejected an appeal to build the toll road right through the vein of pristine nature preserved there.

Zabrocki called in to talk about the victory, and explain the dangers still to come. Over half a million people from various organizations are against the road, and have banded together to fight it.

Even though the developers have been rejected by the Coastal Commission and the federal government, they are going to try to find other ways to plow through the park.

Zabrocki suggested that YOU write letters! Your voice does matter. Winning this battle proves that the public CAN dominate over money.

7 a.m.

Mat debuted Disturbed’s new Christmas Song. (Really, it’s Mat, Carlos and Preston.) Listen below!

SPECIAL GUEST!

Belladonna called in to talk about the movies she’s working on, as well as her gig as a co-host at the upcoming AVN Awards Show with Jenna Haze.

She admitted that she is very nervous for the event on January 10.

Mat asked if hosting duties included reenacting a massive montage of all the best porno scenes of the year.

(No.)

The powers that be at AVN have cracked down on the nudity and promiscuity at the event. She said you’d have to travel outside the country for anything more than a tease.

She reminded Mat that she is very well known for her “enthusiastic performances” and “oral skills,” and she held the title of “Buttwoman” for quite some time. Whatever that means.

After Belladonna described the overwhelming experience her young emergence into the porno industry was, Mat imagined that it was exactly like running through a gauntlet of infinite wang.

The master of interpretive anal dance, as Mat called her, will host the AVN’s LIVE in Vegas on January 10.

John, a porn enthusiast, was granted tickets to the event.

Pop Trash: Cisco Adler arrested in bar brawl, Richard Dreyfuss sues father and uncle, Jeremy Piven leaves show after high blood-mercury content, and Britney Spears and Benji Madden.

Preston said that his balls were the inspiration for parachute pants.

8 a.m.

 GET YOUR YELP ON

with Ruggy!

Ruggy came in to help you get your yelp on  around San Diego!

TOP 5 PLACES RUGGY HAS GOTTEN DRUNK WITH MAT DIABLO THIS YEAR

5. LIPS: Tranny Whitney Houston licked his nip there.

4. LOU JONES INN: Nascar hood on the ceiling. They only went because Mat forgot his ID.

3. LIMO BUS EN ROUTE TO RUGGY’S BIRTHDAY ON AUGUST 1: Someone threw a Jager bottle out of the sun roof.

2. QUALCOMM STADIUM: Wild Turkey and Coors Light beer bongs.

and

1. PECS: A man’s bar. Home of the Unidentified Finger in the Ass Bar.

Where to get your event on:

Sing-a-long Movie Series @ Birch Theater

Sexy Santa Party @ Sin Nightclub

Unwritten Law and Sprung Monkey @ HOB

Dionne Warwick @ Viejas

Zombie Holiday Kickball Party and Toy Drive in OB

Holiday Beer Pong Tournament @ Wings Pizza ‘n Things Downtown

Yoga for Men @ the Body Alchemist in Hillcrest

Dirty Sweet @ Casbah

Port of San Diego Parade of Lights

Poinsettiea Bowl battle of the bands in the Gaslamp

NYE:

Big Night San Diego at the Sheraton by the Airport

As usual, check out yelp.com to fill your social calendar with all the best that San Diego has to offer.

NOT SO SECRET SANTA

The presentation of the gifts yielded the following:

Sammi received a Play-Doh Barnyard Pals Modeling Compound, an Official Astronaut Chicken Space Dinner, and pepper spray from Mat.

Preston got “I can’t believe it’s not Butter,” a BB gun, and pepper spray from Mat.

Carlos received a fancy pants bottle of Patron from Mahoney. He also got a Scruff McGruff t-shirt and a Gangsta Rap Coloring Book from Sammi.

Mat received a Wii game and a bunch of free stuff from around the studio from Carlos, and the original soundtrack to “2001: A Space Odyssey” on vinyl from Sammi.

Mahoney was bitter that he got a box of diapers and a warm 6-pack of beer from Preston. Sammi got him the classic children’s book, “Everyone Poops.”

He was pissed at himself for buying Carlos the expensive bottle of tequila while his gifts merely mocked him for soiling himself last Saturday.

9 a.m.

SPECIAL GUEST!!!

Ilan Rubin came into the studio to be awesome.

Let’s recap:

From age 8 -14 he toured with F.O.N.

(Including being the youngest person to play Woodstock at age 11.)

From 14-16 he was with Denver Harbor.

Then, until a few weeks ago, he played in Lostprophets.

Now, in addition to his solo project, The New Regime, and a side project, Students, he is the new drummer for none other than Nine Inch Nails.

In addition to drums, Ilan is “fairly proficient” at guitar, bass, and keys. Obviously he is also modest.

Currently he is conquering NIN’s catalog, and becoming comfortable with all the technology used on stage.

He feels the hardest part will be the stamina necessary to last through a show.

Ilan promised Mat that San Diego, his hometown will always remain as his base of operations.

Preston shot all the christmas lights in the hallway down.

MORE DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Added:

Drunk musician loves the morning show, but hates Texas; and Mahoney is confident in his level of wrongness.

Everybody thanked everybody. Happy holidays!

Hollaback, marijuana.

Ah ahw blunt.

-SS

 

 Standard Podcast [41:20m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Belladonna Talks AVN! [12:01m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Ilan Rubin! [13:55m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Inside The Manger [2:05m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

5:30 a.m.

Mahoney quoted that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics.

Mat was pleasantly surprised by MaHuckleberry’s Mark Twain reference.

Mat requested an all-positive, optimistic version of the Drunk Dial Line. He also demanded that everyone on the show get along better, which sparked an inter-show rumble.

6 a.m.

DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Included:

What happened to “You got Diablo’d”; Creepy Mexican Santa comes clean and invites Carlos out for Mexican food; slow down and turn your lights on; vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagina; you can hook up with your friend’s sister and then poop your pants, but you can’t poop your pants and then hook up with your friend’s sister; Impression Guy does the girl from Butt Rock 105; Jordan Sam wonders if Sammi is single and/or looking; Mahoney is not the old man throwin’ beats he thought, Carlos is his gardner, and Mat is just a regular dude; leave Mahoney alone; 18th Century Guy does a barrel roll to Sammi as she screams, “Can I get a hell yeah for Mckenzie whaaaaaat hell yeah”; a hollaback, marijuana aria.

What’s on the Internet? http://www.thingsbearslove.com/

WIKIPEDIA RODEO!

with special guest judge, Kenyata

PJ won with the entry “Richard Fell” (a politician in New Zealand) although the game ended and no one was really sure what had just happened.

7 a.m.

The One Red Paper Clip Bit

Inspired by the “One red Paperclip” dude and our current obsession with social experimentation, Mat wants to trade up and up until we reach a house or a car or other tangible ending point.

The first week Mat traded $50 for two weeks of free lawn care.

The second week he thought he traded that for full-service personal bartending and liquor at a party, but Meredith backed out.

The third week he traded the lawn care and two bags of Mother’s Cookies for 20 lbs of shrimp.

The fourth week he traded 20 lbs of shrimp and a Sarah Palin blowup doll for one full day of photography services, worth upwards of $1500.

The fifth week he traded the photography services for the Datson 510, and then immediately traded that for $2500 worth of transmission work.

The sixth week, after much debate, he traded the transmission work for a 50″ Zenith plasma screen TV.

After a few of the early offers backed out, Mat and Carlos spent two weeks plugging the leaks in the bit. So here we are again, back on track, trading up from a plasma screen TV.

Last week, unanimously, the group decided on the Buick. Or the drill. No, the Buick. But the guy who offered it had hung up.

So, once again, what would you trade for a 50″ Zenith plasma screen TV?

Offers included a ‘91 Buick LeSabre, a ‘95 Kawasaki Twin Turbo jet ski (without the key), a ‘68 VW Bug (without a motor), a ‘64 Plymouth Valiant, and two ounces of “White Rhino” pot.

Mat attempted to artistically argue that he should probably take the Plymouth Valiant for himself, and simply donate the monetary difference to charity. He was immediately called out and shut down for being selfish in the midst of the season for sharing.

So the 1991 Buick LeSabre marked the end of the One Red Paperclip Bit as it will be immediately donated to Father Joe!

And so it goes. Tis the season. Etc.

Carlos and Mahoney surprised Mat with a phone call to his wife. They told him he should always check with his wife before buying an old death trap of a car. Whiiiiiiiipped.

8 a.m.

Efrain Escudero called in to talk about being awesome.

He didn’t just win his fight on Saturday, he completely and definitely demolished Phillipe, earning him a UFC contract and well-deserved respect.

Mahoney gushed about Efrain (to Efrain) including the comments made by Dana White leading up to the fight. White had hyped up Phillipe as the next GSP and Efrain just straight up whooped his ass.

Efrain said he just put aside all the fluff and the hype and concentrated on what he learned during his intense training.

Afterwards he went back to his room, relaxed and watched his fight. (That was not the answer Mat expected. Especially after seeing how most Ultimate Fighters celebrate.)

Efrain looks most forward to fighting Roger Huerta, so keep your eyes peeled for that!

Finally, Mat asked what the first thing Efrain is going to buy with his money.

He said he is most excited to go christmas shopping for his family. Awwwww.

MAT DIABLO’S CRUCIAL LISTS

Today’s list: The Top Five Baby Names That His Wife Rejected

5. James Brown

4. Champion

3. Thurston

2. Thruxton

1. Champagne Harlem

MORE DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Added:

91X Morning Show Christmas song.

9 a.m.

Yesod, drummer of Pepper and noted marijuana enthusiast, called in bright and early from Kona to talk about their upcoming shows in San Diego.

While at home he is surfing, loving life, and anticipating his wedding.  

Mat asked 1. What band is playing at his wedding and 2. If he’s going to knock her up right away or what.

1. Irration

2. “Gotta procreate. Allllright.”

Yesod reminisced fondly about the last time Pepper played here in San Diego with the Expendables.

Also, March 6-8 Pepper will join Snoop Dogg and Slightly Stoopid at the Langerado Music Festival in Miami.

Yesod admitted he has yet to smoke with Snoop, but hopes to this March.

Mat asked about Pepper’s version of the Drunk Dial Line.

Get any and all information about the band, leave a message, and they’ll call back!

(760)536-6316

See them at the HOB Jan. 2, or the Belly Up Jan. 3! 

And follow them on their Twitter at twitter.com/pepperlive.

Pop Trash: B-rock named Time Person of the Year, Jenna Jameson pregnant on her Myspace, Mr. Belding karaoke, Hilary Duff is not a virgin, and Michelle was the Biggest Loser.

Carlos thanked Pam.

Sammi thanked Kenyata.

Preston thanked Donut.

Mahoney thanked Winston.

Mat thanked Yesod. Alllright.

Hollaback, marijuana.

-SS

 

 Standard Podcast [50:57m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Yesod From Pepper! [10:25m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Efrain Escudero! [9:24m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

no, seriously. OMFG.

null – Watch more free videos

5:30 a.m.

Mat pointed out that, while he thrives under the harsh oppression of fluorescent lights, Mahoney, Carlos, and Sammi all prefer to work in a scarcely lit cave of a studio.

Unfortunately one lone bulb directly above Sammi made it through the night and Carlos was forced to work by the glow of his computer monitor.

Mat said that, in a story he wrote once, if an imaginary DEA agent allegedly searched his hypothetical apartment when he was theoretically storing pounds and pounds of marijuana.com, then he would have been charged with a very real felony.

Mat shared this story about gorilla farts.

Then he injected this bit of existentialism to counter it.

6 a.m.

Inspired by Mahoney’s complete negligence of “the Man Code” this weekend, Mat decided to go over some of the ground rules.

Discussed: Beer etiquette, and hooking up with ex-girlfriends, sisters, and moms of friends.

Did mahoney violate the man code by hooking up with Capone’s sister and shitting his pants?

He continues to stand behind his actions as Mat and Carlos publicly and mercilessly berate him.

WIKIPEDIA RODEO!

So: Mat found a big ol’ box of copies of The Dark Knight on DVD.

Everyone wanted a copy, so Mat decided that he, Carlos, Mahoney, Sammi and a listener would battle it out in the treacherous Wikipedia Rodeo.

The game: take the numerical day from your birthday (i.e. January 18 = 18) and click the “random entry” button on Wikipedia that many times.

The person with the most interesting article wins!

John, a listener, had 18 clicks. But his article was a dry bio of some Irish guy.

Mat’s two clicks warranted an article about the year 2004.

Carlos’ 19 clicks landed on a dub-step producer from the UK.

Mahoney couldn’t play because Mat didn’t want to click 31 times.

And, finally, Sammi’s 18 clicks provided an article about mummy paper.

Clearly, Sammi was the big winner! (Although Mat gave John a copy, as well.)

Click here to read the winning entry!

7 a.m.

NOT SO SECRET SANTA

Since collectively the 91X Morning Show is broke, they decided that it would be in everyone’s best interest to do a Secret Santa.

Mat didn’t exactly understand the concept, however, and had Sammi choose names on behalf of everyone.

Of course with her luck, she chose herself last. So after a slight adjustment, here are the results:

Mat has Sammi and Preston.

Sammi and Preston have Mahoney.

Mahoney has Carlos.

Carlos has Mat.

Presents will be exchanged on Friday, our last show before Christmas… Don’t miss it!

Pop Trash: Burger King introduces meat-scented cologne, Rob Zombie signs on for Halloween sequel, Peter Falk may have Alzheimer’s, Eva Mendes wants to get naked with Morrissey for PETA, Clint Eastwood thinks America has gone soft, and romantic comedies mar love lives.

UFC Fighter? Or Hunting Knife?

The Ripper… Fighter!

The Beast… Fighter!

The Black Bear… Hunting Knife!

The Apparition… Hunting Knife!

The Predator… Fighter!

The listener that correctly differentiated between the two won vouchers to watch the next UFC PPV event fo’ free on Cox!

8 a.m.

Since we are broadcasting live from Sam the Cooking Guy’s house on Thursday for our Star-Studded Christmas Spectacular Show, he did not join us for White Trash Cooking this morning.

So: Mat had Young Pat the Intern bring in some Bacon Salt to sprinkle on as many concoctions as he could come up with.

Also, the proprietors of Bacon Salt, Justin and Dave, called in to talk about their ingenious product.

Their philosophy: everything should taste like bacon.

Mat agreed, citing his extremely blunderous attempt at bacon vodka.

The start up money came from a video of Justin’s 3-year-old son hitting him in the face with a t-ball. He subsequently won $5000 on America’s Funniest Home Videos.

Once, before the inception of the current morning show, Mat and Carlos were messing around with Bacon Salt on air. Yadda, yadda, yadda, the product went from a small specialty shop to grocery stores across the country. Thus, Justin and Dave called the show the springboard for their company, and encouraged everyone to launch there bacon-flavored products right here on 91X.

And keep an eye out for their newest innovation: baconaise!

Pat and Mahoney ate bacon salt on cinnimon toast, pb and j, Nyquil, beer, applesauce, and quesadillas.

Justin and Dave suggested bacon-flavored kisses.

 In the spirit of the end of the year reflection, nostalgia, recaps and countdowns, Mat Diablo debuted his own segment that will feature a new Top 5 List each day until the new year. He calls it

MAT DIABLO’S CRUCIAL LISTS

Today’s list: The Top Five Movie Aliens of All Time

(according to Mat Diablo, that is)

5. PREDATOR

4. E.T.

3. CHICK FROM SPECIES

2. JABBA THE HUT

1. CHICK WITH THREE BOOBS IN TOTAL RECALL

(People were very upset that this list did not include Superman, Chewbacca, and the aliens from MIB and Space Jam.)

9 a.m.

THE BOTTOM 40!

When Mat Diablo uses the little power he has to plummet past the pop on top and reach into the depths of the musical charts to dig some gems gleaming with promise and potential out from…

The Bottom 40

 News: Lil’ Wayne has a blog.

This week’s featured tune from Mat’s personal musical piggy bank:

Get Better – Mates of State

Consider yourselves informed.

 Carlos thanked Mahoney for allowing his man card to join his penis in Bakersfield.

Sammi thanked the chick from Total Recall’s third boob.

Preston thanked bacon salt and gluttony.

Mahoney thanked Preston and Sammi in advance for a great gift.

Mat thanked hypothetical alleged weed in his house.com.

-SS

 

 Standard Podcast [66:15m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Bacon Salt...Hitting harder than the printing press [21:09m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Today Mat made a bold move and told all those cute and fuzzy animals to shove it.

This website is for all the people that are sick of the brainwashing powers of a teeny animal with big, bright eyes and a thick layer of soft, shiny fluff. Who do they think they are, anyway?