http://thisiswhyyourpetisfat.blogspot.com/
Inhumane. But delicious.
http://whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com/
Mat’s hoping he doesn’t end up on here. In a completely unrelated matter, Preston has been following him around and snapping photos of him in compromising and questionable situations.
http://www.peoplewhositinthedisabilityseatswhenimstandingonmycrutches.com/
Exactly what iit sounds like.
5:30 a.m.
Mat walked into the studio while Asher Roth’s “I Love College” was blaring from the speakers. He knew what he had to do.
If an early morning rap battle is what Roth wanted, he sure as hell came to the right place.
Mat played Carlos’ “I love Junior College” as a rebuttal.
And it was on.
There’s a new show about fat people finding love that everyone is really excited to make jokes about.
Brenson called in from the eye of a Gas Tank Rodeo hurricane.
Godspeed, lil’ buddy.
6 a.m.
Mat reaired the interview with Jim Gaffigan from last week in honor of his Comedy Central special “King Baby” that debuted Sunday night.
What’s on the Internet?
http://thisiswhyyourpetisfat.blogspot.com/
and
http://whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com/
and
http://www.peoplewhositinthedisabilityseatswhenimstandingonmycrutches.com/
THE 91X MORNING SHOW 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY
Join us Friday morning at the 7 10 Beach Club in PB for a FREE party honoring our first year on the air!
Can you believe it!?
Performances by Asher Roth and Iglu & Hartley will provide the soundtrack for a day of drunken celebration.
7 a.m.
ABBY FROM A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY
Grandma Abby, Carlos’ grandmother, called in to aid 91X listeners with love and sex advice.
She is single-handedly in charge of the esteemed Art Center of the senior home in Carlsbad.
Recently a legal US citizen, Abby is wise beyond her years in all facets of life from her years of extraordinary experience.
She is a poet, a writer, a lover, and even had her own radio show back in the day.
By request, the segment was dubbed “Abby from a galaxy far far away.” (Well, Colombia.)
Doug had a question for her. He asked her how to tell his girlfriend one of her dogs died while he was dog-sitting. He was contemplating switching out the dead dog with a new, more alive one.
She said the idea is good for him, but what about his girlfriend?
She asked what he would do if he brought the new dog to her and it bit his girlfriend.
So, he must tell her the dog died, and then present her with beautiful, new, live dog.
It was beautiful advice from a beautiful woman.
She then told a joke about elderly prostitutes.
Punchline: “They are having a yard sale.”
Listen in for next time we check in with our Colombian sweetheart.
Pop Trash: San Diego Comic Con 4-day passes already sold out, Michael Jordan spotted at True North, Bill O’Reilly boycotts Sean Penn films, Josh Hartnett hospitalized, ‘Bruno’ gets an NC-17 rating, and ‘More to Love’ finds love for fatties.
Happy birthday, Christopher Walken.
8 a.m.
As you have probably heard by now, Sammi’s man friend has bunk beds. In a breakfast nook. With no doors.
Now, she associates bunk beds with sexual innovation.
An Ikea catalog is her porn mag.
So she wrote a rap song about her experience with bunk beds. Listen below.
Enjoy.
SPECIAL GUEST!
Manny Puig came in to talk about his new show Savage Wild on the Outdoor Channel.
Puig prefers predators like sharks and gators to the more polite porpoises and playful turtles.
He believes his work brings the civilized world closer to the wildness.
Puig wears camouflage on a daily basis. Just throwing that out there.
The Jackass boys originally found him while he was levitating alligators underwater in a speedo.
Savage Wild premieres Saturday at 2 p.m. on the Outdoor Channel.
The first episode features a 2000 lb. Monster Gator.
Carlos asked Mat to use his skills of gauging gators’ age on Mat.
He guessed somewhere in his 30s. Haaaaa.
He also offered San Diego some advice about the whale in the bay, “If the whale dies just wait until the sharks come and eat it.”
9 a.m.
THE BOTTOM 40!
When Mat Diablo uses the little power he has to plummet past the pop on top and reach into the depths of the musical charts to dig some gems gleaming with promise and potential out from…
The Bottom 40
News: U2 skips San Diego, Smashing Pumpkins has open auditions for drummers, Smashing Pumpkins and Tool Lollapalooza rumors, Buddyhead Gossip Page is back, and Lil’ Wayne’s rock album put back again.
This week’s featured tune from Mat’s personal musical piggy bank:
Walking on a Dream – Empire of the Sun
Consider yourselves informed.
Carlos thought that Canada was in the UK.
More Pop Trash: Ohio man receives DUI on a motorized bar stool.
Today we learned that the chicken came before the bitch.
Carlos thanked Mat for being an idiot.
Preston thanked Manny Puig.
Sammi thanked corn dog flowers that the fatties will be receiving.
-SS
Standard Podcast: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download Manny Puig: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download Bottom 40: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download Sammi's Bunk Bed Rap: Play Now | Play in Popup | DownloadIllustrated examples of when to use one of Mat’s favorite expressions.
Talk trash. Make enemies. Make friends. Make frenemies.
5:30 a.m.
Mat wanted to see if Collect Call Theatre, a new game debuting at 8:30, could actually work.
(We’ll get into the details of how the game came about, and the finer points of the game during the official first round.)
Basically, call the show collect and say the funniest thing you can in that three second window when you’re supposed to say your name. If you win, we’ll accept the call. If not, go wash your hands because pay phones these days are nothing more than bum toilets. And you should know better.
Anyway, this is probably all you need to know from the dry run:
2 Girls 1 Cup!
¡(gibberish in Spanish)!
Oh my God, my balls are on fire!
And the practice round winner,
“DVDA!”
Mat added Sudden Adult Death Syndrome to his laundry list of unwarranted fears.
6 a.m.
DRUNK DIAL LINE!
Included:
What you call a Mexican doctor; Ruben has spongy bread for Ruggy; the last time Tiger Guy got laid; Augustus Gloop Oompa Loompa song; lopity lope lopin’ lope lope; stoner buys tickets to a nonexistent festival; one guy is not like any other guy, in that he doesn’t like Sammi; littering aaaaaand…; an elephant in a cage and a ball of electricity; and thank you, Mat, for the shot of Jager and the bathroom blowjob.
What’s on the Internet?
and
7 a.m.
BIG ANNOUNCEMENT
Every 91 minutes 91X will be giving away tickets to 311!
“Planes, Trains, and Automobiles” guarantees you’ll arrive at the show in style.
Every winner will receive tickets to 311 at Criket Wireless on July 11, but one GRAND PRIZE winner will be sent in a limo! Fancy.
Also, the GP VIP will be put on a plane to Atlanta for the 311 show on July 4, and take a train to the show in Irvine on July 12.
Hence the name of the promotion 
So listen up!
Pop Trash: ShamWow guy arrested, Jimmy Fallon’s petition to reunite the ‘Saved by the Bell’ gang, and Pete Wentz guest stars on the Electric Company.
Sammi and Hell Yeah McKenzie spend their days and nights making pizza and serving beer at Secret Pizza.
On Friday night, Mat made his debut to the establishment with two friends and disguises.
He called himself “Katie” and entered, shirtless, with a bag of confetti.
He threw it everywhere as the three men with beards to their bellies approached the counter solemnly.
One had glasses without frames and a “Hottie Police” badge, one had sunglasses and an army helmet, and Katie had aviators and a monk wig.
No one spoke, Katie just gave Sammi handful after handful of glittery confetti. He dumped a bunch in the tip jar, some on his pizza, and much more than necessary on the floor and tables.
They spoke, addressing her as “sir” and “fella,” only in existentialist questions.
Oh, did I mention that she was high as hell? Because she was. Thus, being asked, “Excuse me sir, how many are there,” and, “Where did they come from, fella,” combined with the mountains of sparkly messes she was trying to mop up flustered her quite a bit.
They guzzled beer for three hours before Katie had his wife pick him up. Conveniently, she pulled up before he could help clean any of it up.
Secret Pizza. You’re going to love it.
8 a.m.
Robert Partridge, the first to write a tribute song to one Chrissy Russo, came on the show to introduce himself and his song.
But not before Mat introduced him into Chrissy Russo.
Chrissy Russo, as many of you know, is the glowing sun that warms San Diego every morning. She sends a burst of giggles into San Diego’s collective ear to start the day, and a burst of mini skirts into San Diego’s collective pants to end every night.
She screeched hello and gushed about how hilarious and talented Partridge is.
Mat asked if she thinks he’s attractive.
“Of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Carlos seethed.
Then she went on about why her favorite word is “eruption” while all the men drooled. It was hard to understand through the giggles, but I believe she said it is her favorite word because it sounds like “erection.”
At least she knows how to shamelessly cater to her fan demographic!
Mat played the Blink 182-esque tribute to Russo, which can also be found here.
COLLECT CALL THEATRE
The 91X Morning Show plucked collect calling out of obscuity and reappropriated it as their very own prize line!
The game:
Call us collect.
Use the three seconds given to state your name to shout something hilarrrrrrious.
If you’re our favorite and you’re funny, we’ll accept the call and you win!
If not, you helped feed Carrot Top.
Here’s what was yelled:
Gooooooooo! Get to the choppa!
(inaudible shouting)
Weiner stuck in a toaster!
(desperation)
James!
BAM! Amurrica!
Preston’s a homo, I love you Sammi!
And the winner, “I’ll meet you across the street… buy you a hot dog!
So regress to 1998, and dial down the middle. That’s why they call it a pay phone, it pays to call! Hi ho.
By the way this game came about because Abby, Carlos’ grandmother, called his mom collect to pick her up from Costco.
9 a.m.
MORE DRUNK DIAL LINE!
Added:
Bunk beds, bunk beds, bunk beds; and Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
More Pop Trash: Skype for iPhone and Ukrainian Katy Perry.
Mat thinks Bunk Beds are like that footsteps/God poem, The Giving Tree, and an M. Night Shamalan movie.
Chrissy Russo can disguise boner jokes with fart jokes all while not saying hi to her
Carlos thanked Chrissy Russo for saying “erection.”
Preston thanked collect calling.
Sammi thanked Chrissy Russo for not saying hi to Carlos, and Katie for visiting her at work.
Mat thanked bunk beds.
Hollaback, marijuana.
-SS
Standard Podcast: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download Drunk Dial: Play Now | Play in Popup | DownloadToday Sammi found this gem: http://www.jellotime.com/.
Do it live here! http://www.jellogallery.org/
And Mat’s creepy contribution: http://justinelai.com/
5:30 a.m
Mat is an ass. It’s Bunk Bed Friday.
6 a.m.
Included:
Another victim of Love Hurts; Mat Diablo is hot; Informative Cookie Monster taught us about Abba Zabba; an Indian leprechaun is slappin’ da bass; Hank Hill wants Carlos to cut his hair; Rick James; Carlos is smarter than a Mexican graduate from Cal; too drunk to feel his dick; and Ruben Galvan is a national treasure.
What’s on the Internet?
Sammi’s contributions:
and
and Mat’s:
THE 91X MORNING SHOW 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY
Join us next Friday morning at the 7 10 Beach Club in PB for a FREE party honoring our first year on the air!
Can you believe it!?
Performances by Asher Roth and Iglu & Hartley will provide the soundtrack for a day of drunken celebration.
7 a.m.
Mario the Mexican Morrissey Fan recapped American Idol in 91 seconds.
SPECIAL GUEST!
Lou Ferrigno called in to talk about… stuff.
Fun facts we plucked from the awkwardness and present to you:
San Diego Comic Con is his favorite show of the year.
He really does have a statue of himself, although its smaller than the one in ‘I Love You, Man.’
He is NOT on Twitter because sometimes he has silly fans and doesn’t like the negativity.
He continues his carrer with motivational speaking and comedy.
He thinks no drugs are good for you, and HGH is no different.
The Incredible Lou Ferrigno.
Pop Trash: Paris Hilton gets proposed to, Earth Hour, Robert Pattison smells, and Padma Lakshmi does Carl’s Jr. commercial.
8 a.m.
with Ruggy!
Ruggy came in to help you get your yelp on at NEW PLACES around San Diego!
Where to get your debut on:
ALCHEMY in South Park: HUGE on mixology!
MUZITA in University Heights: Fancy Ethiopian food!
FRANKIE THE BULL’S BBQ in Linda Vista: Former Top Chef Contestant!
Where to get your event on:
Pint Night with Coronado Brewery @ Live Wire
Alternative Happy Hour @ Centro Cultural De la Raza in Balboa Park
Shark Attack @ On Broadway
Brett Dennen @ HOB
Mr. Tube and the Flying Objects @ Bar Pink
Earthless @ Casbah
Circa Now @ Ken Club
Bacon Brothers @ Hard Rock
South Park Walkabout
IndieFest V in North Park
Vince Vaughn Late Night Happy Hour @ Tractor Room
Walk the Walk Presents… in North Park
The Knee Highs @ Porter’s Pub UCSD
Which One’s Pink @ HOB
Hotel St. George @ Office Bar
Biohazard @ Canes
As usual, check out yelp.com to fill your social calendar with all the best that San Diego has to offer.
MORE DRUNK DIAL LINE!
Added:
We are all winners: we won the sperm-to-egg race.
9 a.m.
HOW’S YOUR MUTHA!
Cody’s bad luck has led to his parents catching him in the act a few times recently. He has, until today, avoided knowing about their sex life.
Cody confronted his mother, Kristen, using the “rip-the-band-aid-right-off” method to just ask her, straight up, when the last time her and his dad had sex.
Cody guessed it was Sunday, his dad’s frist day off in a week. It was Monday.
Thus, he won a Mountain High season pass.
When asked the last time Cody had sex, Kristen didn’t even want to guess. She vaguely mumbled that it was in the last three months. He said, “More than you know,” so she grounded him.
Another touching family moment brought to you by the 91X Morning Show.
The guys love to reward the brand of awkward courage it takes to interrogate one’s mother about her sex life, so tune in until the next edition of…
HOW’S YOUR MUTHA!
More Pop Trash: Flo Rida wanted for killing a rabbit, T.I. sentenced to a year and a day, Shane McConky died, and Madonna adopts again.
WHAT DID YOU LEARN TODAY?
Lessons learned: Carlos ruled ass; Lou Ferrigno should not be allowed to talk, he should just turn green; and Mat learned quite a bit about bunk beds.
Carlos thanked Hot Pockets.
Preston thanked Mat’s medium-sized Motorhead shirt.
Sammi thanked Abba Zabba.
Mat thanked Lou Ferrigno and bunk beds.
Hollaback, marijuana.
-SS
Standard Podcast: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download Get Your Yelp On: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download Drunk Dial: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download5:30 a.m.
Mat said Sammi smelled like a distillery. She only got an hour of sleep.
Mat predicted either Sammi would be hilarious today, or you wouldn’t hear a peep out of her.
Mat only got four hours of rest. Asleep, burrito in belly, he dreamt the greatest song in the world.
Unfortunately he forgot everything except the lyric, “This is our band.”
Mat saw Sam the Cooking Guy out and about last night dressed head to toe in Fubu with frosted tips and Oakley’s.
He was jealous of all the attention Sam was getting, and pouted when Sam failed to notice that they were standing right next to one another for 45 minutes before Sam the Cooking God said hello.
We love him.
Sammi mumbled about Drumline and manatees before announcing she has to go to the DMV today.
6 a.m.
SPECIAL GUEST!
Bo Burnham, the 18-year-old comical musician or musical comedian, called in to talk about his special on Comedy Central tomorrow night.
Mat asked if the offensive nature of his humor is acceptable due to his delivery or to his boyish good looks.
He attributed it to his boyish good looks because then people can just say, “Oh, he’s a kid, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
Mat asked what it was like to be one of the most subscribed to people on YouTube.
Burnham replied existentially, “What does subscribed even mean?”
He dismissed the honor as somewhat meaningless as all his subscribers aren’t necessarily people. They could be cyborgs or just one guy with a bunch of accounts.
Burnham said it’s easy to become a YouTube sensation. It just takes a lot of luck and a complete lack of dignity.
Watch his Comedy Central special tomorrow at 11 p.m. if you like word play and a dude who’s just “a little bit goofy.”
And keep an eye out for the musical he is writing with Judd Apatow.
Mat played one of his songs for everyone called “Love Is.”
What’s on the Internet?
Post a question for President Obama here.
and
http://100waystokillapeep.blogspot.com/
7 a.m.
ANOTHER SPECIAL GUEST!
Jim Gaffigan called in to talk about his upcoming Comedy Central Special and, of course, Hot Pockets.
Gaffigan promised it will be as controversial as ever as he tackles hard-hitting issues and taboo topics like bacon, ketchup, and bowling.
He said he’s so offensive that half the crowd typically walks out of the room as soon as he enters.
Mat told him that he needs to always rock a beard to which he replied, “Girl, I hear you.”
His brief history lesson taught us that Vikings went to Ireland and partied it up, leaving him with pale skin and blondish red hair.
Sammi asked him about a MySpace message she received from him when she first created an account way back in high school.
He personally wrote a note and sent her a friend request because she had “manatees” listed under her Interests. At the time he said he was simply seeking out anyone who shared his Interest in manatees.
Gaffigan says that technology is moving way too rapidly for him. For example, he only uses his Twitter to tell people that he loves diarrhea.
Check out his special “King Baby” Sunday at 9 p.m. on Comedy Central!
Pop Trash: The Shins tour, ‘Where the Wild Things Are’ trailer (!!!!!!!), Sean Penn and Nat Portman, Three Stooges movie, and a man calls 911 after his estranged wife handcuffs herself to him.
8 a.m.
Finally, a boisterous crew in to enjoy some brew!
Mark, Brandon and Nate from Oceanside Ale Works came in to share their beer and laughs with us.
The brewer, GM, and lead brewer, respectively, presented Mat with a 91X tap handle made of wood from the original Oceanside pier.
It was to make up for Brandon’s P1 Army tattoo.
Two of the brewers are school teachers. Brandon is one of Mark’s ex-students.
The guys got into the brewing biz almost accidentally.
“It was a hobby that spun way out of control.”
They said life’s easy when you’re doing what you love and get to drink on the job. (Sounds familiar.)
The gang reviewed Oceanside Ale Works’ American Strong Ale. The 9.2% beer was originally a mistake.
Mark said if we drank it right when its done fermenting without letting it age, it would taste like jet fuel.
But we didn’t, so it didn’t.
They planned on making it a seasonal ale, but locals began sitting at the door shaking their pint glasses chanting, “I need the strong ale!”
Carlos compared it to the pot o’ gold at the end of a drunken rainbow.
Mat compared it to a tranny… and it made sense.
She’s smooth and sultry and then BAM! There’s an Adam’s apple.
Sammi said it tasted like the California Dream. It had the savory flavor of everything she imagined about and moved out here for.
Find Oceanside Ale Works all around the tri-city area from Four Seasons to P’s and Q’s.
Keep an eye out for their upcoming Cactus Cream Ale!
And visit the tasting hours on Fridays and Saturdays for $4.
Email beer@91x.com if you want to come in!
And gear up for our Home Brew Challenge.
ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 13TH GRADER?
Carlos is pretty, but is he smart?
Carlos, the 91X Morning Show’s resident 13th grader, and Javier, a Mexican Cal grad who wanted to take on the Colombian Dark Lord in a battle of the Latin races, went head to head in a battle of knowledge.
Mat’s wife put the game together for today so it was super-hard because she’s super-smart.
The questions:
Name the primary colors.
What’s the denominator in 1/5?
What’s the formula to find the area of a circle?
In Greek (not Roman) mythology, who is the god of the Sea?
A triangle that has three unequal sides is what kind of triangle?
What year did Neil Armstrong land on the moon?
Who wrote “Catcher in the Rye?”
Name the capital of Washington.
How long did the war of 1812 last?
Who painted the Mona Lisa?
Javier went first, answering only 2 correctly.
Sammi was, again, the only one who believed that Carlos would break his losing streak today.
AND HE DID!
He was on fire.
Mat snuck Javier the tickets to Offspring and Alkaline Trio while Carlos was gloating.
9 a.m.
YET ANOTHER SPECIAL GUEST!
Scott from Stay Classy returned for a Yelp-like segment to get people involved with important causes.
Get Your Karma On?
Today: Wild & Scenic Environmental Film Festival @ Gaslamp 15.
Free beer and wine!
March 27: Pre-party for Elemental Experience @ Stingaree.
April 2: Engineers Without Borders Wine to Water Fundraiser @ Airport Lounge.
The more wine you drink, the more water you provide for those in need!
And don’t forget to get your tickets to Elemental Experience!
More Pop Trash: Blink 182 at a recent photoshoot, and Blender mag closes.
Carlos thanked himself.
Preston thanked OAW and The Farside.
Sammi thanked Jim Gaffigan for sharing her love of manatees.
-SS
abby from a galaxy far far away are you smarter than a 13th grader? awesome balls Barack Obama Beer beer for breakfast bottom 40 carlos Chargers DEPreston diddy drunk Drunk Dial Line Dubya East County Election fatty Gary Busey gayness get your yelp on hit by a car jackass John McCain LOLZ Mat Diablo MMA obama old people Padres Politics preston Ruggy sam the cooking guy snuggies Stay classy steve west UFC useful Video Videos Vlog What's on the Internet world record wednesdays yelp
