91X Morning Show with Mat Diablo

http://twitter.com/chrissyfox5

http://twitter.com/raoulfox5

http://twitter.com/ArthelFOX5

Follow our friends at Fox 5!

 

and

http://www.swinefighter.com/

Play Carlos’ new favorite game! Stick the syringe in the sick swine, save the country. Simple as that.

5:30 a.m.

We’re in trouble again.

Apparently two new people are upset with Monday’s show.

First, Geena the Latina.

Mat explained there’s a huge difference between making fun of played out radio bits, and personally attacking people’s character.

When he makes fun of Geena, it’s always for the same two reasons.

1. He highly suspects there is no way “Geena the Latina” is her birth name.

2. He is offended by her obsession with trying to turn San Diego into LA by reporting on what SamRo ate at Stingaree two Saturdays ago. (Nothing.)

So lighten up! When you’re on the radio, there’s no way everyone is going to love you. Mat will send you a pack of emails from people who personally want to remove parts of his body and prevent him from procreating if you want to see something to be upset about.

Mat also got word that Chrissy Russo was upset by the comments made about her space suit on Monday. And that she was compared to a club rat.

Mat dismissed it because all we talk about is her clothes, not her character.

And it’s nothing new, we talk about her clothes every morning. So we’ll call a spade a spade, and a space suit a space suit.

 

So, again, we’re kind of sorry. But when we poke fun, we always stop short of making personal attacks. And trust us, we take it in a billion times more than we dish it out. Which is probably why we never understand why people are upset with us.

Except Scott Stapp, Mat will personally attack him all day everyday. And rightly so.

 

Sammi speculated that the only reason Creed and Nickelback keep going double platinum is because the two bands just buy up all of each other’s records.

 

 6 a.m.

DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Included:

Do not complain unless your toilet has overflowed; Colbert Report is advertising Baconnaise; ‘Golden Girls’ theme song request; Carlos is awesome; a very lonely game of beer pong; Sammi’s safe from her Bea Arthur/old people comments; herb, herb, herb, herb’s the word; Kermit the Frog’s bunk bed song; swine flu cough; Ken Choppa wants to stop the swine flu hype; and Colombians, dude.

 

What’s on the Internet?

http://twitter.com/chrissyfox5

and

http://twitter.com/raoulfox5

and

http://www.swinefighter.com/

 

BEER FOR BREAKFAST LIVE

Join the 91X Morning Show as they broadcast LIVE tomorrow from BJ’s in Chula Vista.

Get drunk on your way to work!

Live Beer for Breakfast!

Tickets to Stay Classy’s Elemental Experience!

Passes to see X-Men Origins!

6-10 a.m. Tomorrow. Live broadcast from the South Bay. Be there.

 

 7 a.m.

SPECIAL GUEST!

Shaun Phillips, linebacker on YOUR San Diego Super Chargers, called in to talk about his work with the After School All-Stars.

Phillips had a good weekend. He really likes draft weekend and feels good about the new players.

“It was a solid draft,” Phillips said.

Although he hasn’t had a chance to meet and evaluate all the newbies, he is most excited about the Canadian Vaughn Martin. He said anyone that big, strong and explosive will never hurt a team.

Phillips told Mat about some of the work he is doing with After School All Stars to give back to the community.

Three out of four households have both parents in the workplace. That means there are a few hours afterschool before the parents get home that give kids a chance to get into trouble.

After School All Stars gives them a place to do homework, hang out, play sports, and continue learning instead of causing mischief.

The program is in 52 cities, and was established in 1992. Phillips pointed out that means they must be doing something right.

Phillips is also hosting a charity golf tournament! Get details here.

He will continue last year’s donation promise of $1000 for every sack he gets.

It’s win/win because Phillips said besides winning, sacks are the biggest thrill he gets to experience.

Each one is one less play the quarterback makes, one less touchdown he can throw, and one less first down he’ll pick up. And it feels gooooood.

Phillps promised that the Chargers will work as hard as they can to win every game next season, and definitely give the fans something to cheer about at each outing.

 

Pop Trash: SJP and Ferris Bueller expecting twins, Shanna Moakler slams Prop 8, Mr. T called for Jury Duty, ’Wall Street’ sequel,  Real World: Cancun shut down for Swine Flu, and Olbermann challenges Hannity on his waterboard offer.

 

8 a.m.

ANOTHER SPECIAL GUEST!

Nick from Death Cab for Cutie called in to talk about their show tonight with Cold War Kids and Ra Ra Riot!

Mat made sure Nick knew about swine flu. He most certainly does, and is doing everything the government says not to do… travelling, hanging around large groups of people, shaking hands, kissing babies, etc. 

Although this hasn’t affected his enthusiasm toward meeting fans, he may be a little more reticent to meet a sneezing/coughing fan.  

Mat wanted to talk about Ra Ra Riot.

Nick loves the band, and said they are one of his all-time favorites to tour with.

They make you dance, feel, and will blow your mind all at the same time.

Nick also gave a nod to the Cold War kids for keeping up to their tour buses with their classic van and trailer combo. They haul ass with smiles and style.

Finally, Mat asked about Death Cab.

The new EP is made up of all the extra songs that the band felt deserved to be part of “this era” of the band, but didn’t have room for them on Narrow Stairs.

Nick said the songs have also given the tour some great new material to pepper into the set lists.

Mat anxiously asked if Death Cab would (finally) be taking a break after this tour, or if they plan on powering through to the next record.

Nick said they will have down time after the tour with a few some summer shows sprinkled in the coming months, but that the down time will be used mostly for writing for the fall.

Mat the told Nick about his post-swine flu dystopian vision, which pleased Nick.

He said it was about time people started thinking about the collapse of society.

 

 

In the wake of the horrible, ear-shattering news that Creed has reunited, Mat wanted to play a new game…

WAS THAT SCOTT STAPP? OR ANOTHER CELEBRITY TOOL?

Assault on a waitress… DENNIS RODMAN!

Drunk arrest at Buffalo Wild Wings in Murrieta… ANDY DICK!

Claimed Dave Grohl “has a small cock” on Casino Cinema… SCOTT STAPP!

Punched Sa from 311’s wife in the mouth… SCOTT STAPP!

Shot up his own house with machine guns… SCOTT STAPP!

 Bridget knew way too much about celebrity debauchery and could differentiate between the two. Thus, she will see Kings of Leon at Cox (Viejas?) Arena in August.

 

BREAKING NEWS: Arthel from Fox 5 is also on Twitter.

 

9 a.m.

 MORE DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Added:

Optimus Primo; Mat looks like Brandon Boyd and Joe Strummer; and anything is better than the impending Creed reunion.

 

More Pop Trash: Mario recapped last night’s episode of American Idol in 91 seconds.

 

WHAT DID YOU LEARN TODAY?

Lessons learned: Bea Arthur is a pothead, Creed is worse than the swine flu, Twitter is incredible, and Mat doesn’t care for the guy that said “Twitter is incredible.”

 

Carlos thanked Bea Arthur as Scott Stapp.

Preston thanked nothing.

Sammi thanked all the listeners for cleaning up our messes on Twitter.

Mat thanked Geena the Latina (if that is her real name) for not cryin’ around so much.

 

Hollaback, marijuana.

 

-SS

http://shouldibeworriedaboutswineflu.com/

No! Everyone Calm the F down.

5:30 a.m.

Mat decided to respond to some emails by addressing them on air.

Unfortunately the ones he chose at random were all angry. One was mad at Sammi for being insensitive about Bea Arthur’s death after Mat called it “untimely” even though all she said was Bea was old, and old people die.

One was mad at Mat for pushing a gay agenda.

And one was mad at Mat for providing misinformation about swine flu. Apparently the irked listener wasn’t a fan of Mat’s Kermit the Frog impression. (Who is?)

 

 6 a.m.

Mat revisited the angry emails again to see if listeners thought they actually warranted apologies.

Sammi said she’d apologize for the passing of Bea Arthur by offering her condolences to her family, but that she would not apologize for stating scientific fact that old people die. She also apologized for being the person who had to break the news that old people die. It happened to her grandparents, and many other grandparents all over the world. She then apologized for being solely responsible for old people dying.

Callers supported Sammi, finding nothing offensive with what she said yesterday.

One particularly libelous listener said that Bea Arthur stabbed his grandmother, which has yet to be proven even remotely true.

Then Carlos agreed with the email that said Mat tends to push the “gay agenda.” Even though he shares the same belief that anyone should be able to marry, he thinks Mat gets preachy sometimes.

Sammi and Preston said they don’t mind.

One email said that people will DIE because Mat Diablo is misinforming everyone about swine flu. Mat collapsed from the weight of this email even though he didn’t misspeak about how the flu is contracted. He just worded it slightly differently.

So, we listen. We offend all people equally. And we may apologize, if enough listeners say we need to. Otherwise, suck it bitches. We love you. Keep emailin’.

 

What’s on the Internet?

http://www.i4u.com/article24406.html

and

http://shouldibeworriedaboutswineflu.com/

 

BEER FOR BREAKFAST LIVE

Join the 91X Morning Show as they broadcast LIVE this Thursday from BJ’s in Chula Vista.

Get drunk on your way to work!

Live Beer for Breakfast!

Tickets to Stay Classy’s Elemental Experience!

6-10 a.m. Thursday. Live broadcast. Be there.

 

7 a.m.

HOW’S YA MUTHA!

or… HOW’S YA FATHA!

Sara from Hillcrest confronted her step-dad, who is only eight years older than her, using the “rip-the-band-aid-right-off” method to just ask him, straight up, when the last time he and her mother had sex.

Sara guessed her hillbilly parents, Sydney and Garnet, “made cookies” at least last Sunday because she spoke to her mom Saturday night, and she was smashed.

She was dead on. She new Rum + Coke = Sexy time.

By the way her mother, Sydney, is 18 years Garnet’s senior. Garnet taught Sara how to fly fish, too. Isn’t that something?

The guys love to reward the brand of awkward courage it takes to interrogate one’s mother (or father) about her (or his) sex life, so tune in until the next edition of…

HOW’S YA MUTHA!

 

Pop Trash: Verizon iPhone, ‘Chuck’ fans eat sandwiches, new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Patton Oswalt had a baby, and congenital amputee loses MMA debut.

 

8 a.m.

SPECIAL GUEST!

Brandon Boyd called in to talk about what’s going on with Incubus.

But first, Mat wanted to know what’s been going on with Boyd and his abs.

For instance, Boyd has been listening to a lot of PJ Harvey, especially the new record with John Parish.

He has also been revisiting his love for Leonard Cohen after he saw his performance at Coachella.

Yes, Boyd was amongst the masses at Coachella.

“Amongst the heat and craziness and no pants,” as he put it.

Incubus is releasing a compilation soon called “Monuments and Melodies.”

It will be the best of the band, with a second disc of b-sides and covers.

A lot of the music is unreleased, although not necessarily newly recorded.

Boyd admitted he was a bit nervous about releasing a greatest hits album at the young age of 33.

But he assured Mat that it was more than likely not the end of Incubus.

“Art shouldn’t be rushed,” Boyd said of the possibility of a new album. ”It should manifest spontaneously.”

When the new record does manifest, Boyd said he would love to explore alternative release methods.

“I would love for Incubus records to be free.”

Here’s hoping.

Catch Incubus July 9 at Criket Wireless!

 

ANOTHER [RANDOM] SPECIAL GUEST!

Matthew Mahaugnicay (Or was it McConaughey? You decide.) called in from sunny San Diego to explain Swine Flu to Mat.

Apparently he was researching a role in Mexico City for an upcoming film version of a Mexican folktale about pigs.

The pigs were only responsive to him after he took off his shirt and stopped bathing. Then, he could “really get inside the pigs.”

Everyone knows Matt is a method actor, so it was really important that he get inside the pigs for the role.

We all hoped he meant inside their heads… but he never said “their heads.”

Hmm…

Anywho, his publicist called him as soon as he got to San Diego saying she and the rest of the crew in Mexico City were feeling ill.

Then he realized everyone he’s been hanging out with has been feeling under the weather.

“Oops.”

 

9 a.m.

THE BOTTOM 40!

When Mat Diablo uses the little power he has to plummet past the pop on top and reach into the depths of the musical charts to dig some gems gleaming with promise and potential out from…

The Bottom 40

 

News: BAD NEWS. Creed reunion.

Festival announcement season is upon us. Lollapalooza and Austin City Limits.

Clipse’s manager has been charged with running a $10 million/year drug ring.

Scott Storch blew $30 million in three years on coke.

Linkin Park dude is helping score Transformers 2.

Music artists with the most followers and mentions on Twitter:

10. Coldplay

9. Aerosmith

8. Kings of Leon

7. Britney Spears

6. Queen

5. The Beatles

4. Mariah Carey

3. Lady Gaga

2. P!nk

1. Taylor Swift

 

New Releases: Ben Folds! And the Soul of Hip Hop Volume 1.

 

This week’s featured tune from Mat’s personal musical piggy bank:

Scared Trickster – Sonic Youth

 Consider yourselves informed.

 

More Pop Trash: Sen. Arlen Spector switched political parties to become a Democrat, and Michelle Williams to marry Spike Jonze.

 

Congratulations to EPS_SanDiego who won KOL tickets just by following 91XMorningshow on Twitter!

 

Carlos thanked Matthew McConaughgay.

Preston thanked Carlos for making that joke.

Sammi thanked Garnet, Sara, Sydney, and that whole f’d up family in Texas.

 

Hollaback, marijuana.

 

-SS

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

For when you just haven’t been humiliated enough during a blackout, the morning after just got worse.

5:30 a.m.

Sammi’s back.

Mat wanted to celebrate Samuel Morse’s birthday because “Google” is written in Morse Code today, but no one else cared.

Chrissy Russo was dressed like a club rat on the moon.

It was somewhat appropriate as Geena the Latina was featured on Fox 5’s news to discuss recent celebrity sightings. For shame, Fox 5.

Mat grounded Fox 5 for two days and switched over to the old dudes on KUSI.

 

6 a.m.

DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Included:

Mr. Pibb and Red Vines is crazy delicious; a kidney offered to Sammi; no wonder the Jens were offended by the phrase “the Pad Squad”; Johnny 3000 says quit being a pussy and do a barrel roll; Lake Havasu loves Sammi; drunken shouting; Richie from Santee has in inexplicably thick accent; the radio call equivalent of a photo-bomb; Carlos is to blame for the Snuggie pandemic; and a song about Mat’s disappointing life.

 

What’s on the Internet? http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

 

BEER FOR BREAKFAST LIVE

Join the 91X Morning Show as they broadcast LIVE this Thursday from BJ’s in Chula Vista.

Get drunk on your way to work!

Live Beer for Breakfast!

Tickets to Stay Classy’s Elemental Experience!

6-10 a.m. Thursday. Live broadcast. Be there.

 

7 a.m.

SPECIAL GUEST!

Bob f’ing Barker called in to talk about his new book of memoirs, “Priceless Memories.”

He said he never planned on writing a book because he had never come to terms with his status as a legendary pop culture icon.

But the offer came, and he decided to go with it.

Barker aficienados know that he grew up on an Indian reservation in South Dakota where he enjoyed playing basketball.

And, according to Barker, the more interviews he does, the better a basketball player he becomes.

His time out of the spotlight has also brought him out of the sunlight as he is no longer tanning on a regular basis. Barker said he’s paying for a lifetime spent on the beaches of the world by having various skin cancers removed these days. Um…

His love for tanning stemmed from his time in the Army. He knew he wanted to be tan, and a Naval Aviator, from a picture in a magazine.

Although he had never seen the ocean or flown an airplane, the photograph of a Naval Aviator in a stark white uniform with shiny gold buttons made him sign up to fight in WWII immediately. The deep tan juxtaposed with the blinding whiteness of the getup inspired his signature golden hue as well.

He thought, If i go to war, I want to go to war looking like that guy.

Mat cleared up a few rumors for everybody:

Yes, Bob Barker DID take martial arts lessons from Chuck Norris, but it was “before he became a pictures star.”

And, yes, in 1950 Barker was asked to be in a pornographic film. But it wasn’t his style.

You know what is his style? The ethical treatment of animals, yo.

So buy his book, as all the profits will be put toward spaying and neutering animals all over the world.

 

Oh and throughout the interview, he called Mat “Mack.”

 

Pop Trash: Bea Arthur died, Jamie Lynn Spears’ baby daddy wrecked his truck, and Speidi got married for real.

 

8 a.m.

Mat had an inkling that Sammi wasn’t actually out all last week with a kidney ailment.

So he used some investigative reporting to find out where she really was all week.

Monday she cures Stephen Hawking of ALS, but reinfected him after losing to him in a game of chess.

That night she resurrected Jim Morrison’s corpse and partied with him until he OD’d again.

Tuesday she was watching a lot of daytime TV, since she was home. After Sesame Street, she stabbed a muppet just to see what color it’s blood was. It took her a lot longer to clean up than expected because it’s not like you can just take a muppet corpse to the dump and not expect some questions.

Wednesday she got her appetite back, so she ate Elizabeth Hassleback, “Just to see what the bitch tasted like.”

Thursday she went over to Butt Rock 105 to try out to be the new girl that laughs at everything even though it’s not funny. Unfortunately she was drowned out by the other 8.

Friday she robbed a liquor store (for the liquor, not the cash), then Billy Joel-ed her car into a quiet suburban home in Kearney Mesa.

Saturday she wanted to get some work done, so she worked on her version of the great American novel… about killing prostitutes.

And Sunday, to round out the week, her bedroom turned into a forest with this little boat that she sailed off to an island in. On the island she ran into a group of big wild beasts that declared her the most wild thing of all and made her their king. She declared a wild rumpus start until she smelled her dinner and returned to her bedroom in which her supper was awaiting her. Then she realized, “Holy shit, Sammi, haven’t you been smoking peyote for six straight days and couldn’t some of this maybe be in your head?”

And it was. She was totally fine. She’s never even been to an island.

 

COMPUTER VIRUS? OR CELEBRITY BABY NAME?

Hud… Baby!

Seargeoh… Baby!

Pilot Inspector… Baby!

Chile Mediera… Virus!

 The caller, Kristen, could not differentiate between the two despite all of Mat’s blatant invitations to change her answers.

Mat rewarded her brilliance with Kings of Leon tickets anyway.

 

ANOTHER SPECIAL GUEST!

Scott Bair of the North County Times called in to review the Chargers’ draft picks from Saturday.

Bair said that after a few days the picks made more sense than he initially thought.

He was pleased with the pick of a pass rushing specialist that would serve as insurance in case of another Merriman incident.

From the list of drafts Bair thought Vaughn Martin would make the most noise. He said he likes his story:

Born in Jamaica, Martin eventually moved to Canada. He watched the Mighty Ducks which made him a hockey player until he saw his friend playing Canadian football. Then he strapped on some pads and now he’s a San Diego Super Charger.

San Diego Chargers 2009 Draft Picks

Round 1 (16)             Larry English               OLB              Northern Illinois

Round 3 (78)             Louis Vasquez                G                 Texas Tech

Round 4 (113)          Vaughn Martin             DT                Western Ontario (Canada)

Round 4 (133)          Tyronne Green               C                 Auburn

Round 4 (134)          Gartrell Johnson           RB                Colorado State

Round 5 (148)          Brandon Hughes          CB                Oregon State

Round 6 (189)          Kevin Ellison                   S                 Southern California

Round 7 (224)          Demetrius Byrd            WR               Louisiana State

 

9 a.m.

More Pop Trash: Earthquake in Berkeley, Verizon iPhone, and DMX joins Celebrity Rehab.

 

 WHAT DID YOU LEARN TODAY?

Lessons learned: Mat is a Twitter whore, Sammi can get away with anything, never bring your baby near a Beergarden, and how to make furniture out of an old barn.

 

Hollaback, marijuana.

 

-SS