http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/
Ahem, Mat. We don’t care if your baby likes Goodnight Moon.
http://nedroid.com/2009/06/the-science-of-cosby/
Where the Cosby comics below came from!
http://nedroidcomics.livejournal.com/232869.html
Cosby comics.
5:30 a.m.
Mat began taking an herbal supplement he saw an infomercial for.
He and Sammi decided to go halvsies on it, as they both find people insufferable lately.
They wanted to rid themselves of their heavy sadness, and this questionable, side effect-ridden supplement called Sam-e seemed to be the answer.
Mat took his this morning, but forgot to bring Sammi’s.
So she will start tomorrow, and see what she is in for by way of Mat’s behavior.
It’s going to get a lot worse before it gets any better.
Follow their side effects! And see if they start treating their friends and coworkers like actual people again!
6 a.m.
Mat’s new iPhone app “Barguments” is an instant conversation starter.
A Bargument is a debate with no wrong or right answer that must be uncomplicated enough to discuss after three beers.
The one discussed: which athlete had the best acting career?
Nominees: Michael Jordan in Space Jam.
Shaq in Kazam.
Andre the Giant in the Princess Bride.
OJ Simpson in Naked Gun (and his acting got him acquitted.)
Mike Tyson in the Hangover.
Ahnold in Twins.
Kareem Abdul Jabbar in Airplane!
John Mackenrow in every Adam Sandler movie.
Tony Danza on Who’s the Boss.
Tony Gwynn in El Cajon Ford commercials.
Dan Marino in Ace Ventura.
What do you think?
Pop Trash: Michael Jackson stretcher image, Pauly Shore claims he did something in 2007, Josh Duhamel nudie pics, Shaq enlisted Twitterers to find Bruce Manley.
WHAT THE HELL IS PRESTON EATING?
The new segment in which we feed Preston something odd and have him rate it on how hungry you’d have to be to eat it (on a scale of Preston to Oprah).
Today, Mat brought in a Jew-friendly food at the behest of a Jewish listener who wanted his food represented on air!
Preston ate two balls of indiscriminate meat rubbed in petroleum jelly (or broth.)
He guessed they were meatballs made out of soy.
He licked the broth and said it tasted like the ocean.
It was actually gefilte fish in broth!
It looked gross, but he liked it.
7 a.m.
What’s on the Internet?
http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/
and
http://nedroid.com/2009/06/the-science-of-cosby/
and
http://nedroidcomics.livejournal.com/232869.html
Mat Diablo has a few habits that make for an awkward interview.
He always asks about Twitter.
He matches his vernacular to that of the interviewee.
He is sometimes misinformed from Wikipedia, and subsequently called out.
He always reflects upon the other time he spoke to the interviewee for 40 minutes about Dismemberment Plan back in ‘98.
And so on.
Preston and Carlos found audio from some of the more recent mess ups with Ida Maria’s origins, Arj Barker and his name, Fieldy from Korn and tattoos he doesn’t have, Lou Ferrigno and Twitter, and the train wreck that was the post-Beer for Breakfast interview with Doug Benson and Brian Posehn.
8 a.m.
Mat busted out an old, dusty game for Bruno tickets.
GAY BAR? OR STEAKHOUSE?
The Cock Pit… MEAT!
Hind Quarter… MAN MEAT!
The Wood Shed… MAN MEAT!
The Closet… MAN MEAT!
The Tight End… MEAT!
Adam knew enough about both to differentiate between the two and win passes to the premiere of Bruno with us.
His sultry UK accent was ruined when Mat turned on Erasure, took off his shirt and pants and began wiggling.
It got weird fast, and ended in Sammi screaming, “H! R! H! R!”
BROS BEFORE HO’S
The premise: Have one significant call the other and cancel plans they’ve had for quite some time.
When the other inevitably asks why he has to cancel, the caller may only say the phrase “Bros before ho’s.”
The resulting awkwardness is greatly rewarded, in this case, with Incubus tickets.
Scott Hammer played the first man on man edition, with his partner Esteban.
But everyone thinks it was fake.
We’re onto you Hammer. We’re onto you.
9 a.m.
Now Carlos and Preston took off their shirts. It got even weirder than when Mat did.
THE BOTTOM 40!
When Mat Diablo uses the little power he has to plummet past the pop on top and reach into the depths of the musical charts to dig some gems gleaming with promise and potential out from…
The Bottom 40
Mat spoke to Britt Daniel of Spoon! Although, my computer froze and I lost my notes. Expect a lot of new music from them though!
This week’s featured tune from Mat’s personal musical piggy bank:
Got Nuffin’ – Spoon
Consider yourselves informed.
Hollaback, marijuana.
-SS
Standard Podcast: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download The Bottom 40: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download Standard Podcast: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download The Bottom 40: Play Now | Play in Popup | DownloadThe conspiracy theories have started! This video shows footage of MJ’s body sitting up in the helicopter that was delivering it to the Los Angeles County Coroner. Is it an optical illusion? Is the video fake? Or was Michael Jackson’s death an elaborate hoax designed to free the super star the pressure and stress of the media
5:30 a.m.
With the news of Billy May’s death still fresh in his mind, Mat looked to place the blame on someone for the recent wave of celebrity deaths.
He called out Geena the Latina, who makes all things “celebutard” her business, for not keeping a close enough watch on those she follows from Stingaree to the Hard Rock and back.
Therefore she is solely responsible for the freeways of Southern California being littered with the bodies of dead celebrities.
“What, Geena, did you forget to water them!?”
She didn’t even write her monthly celebutard sighting article for Pacific Magazine that we always mock.
Carlos seems to have taken her place as he ran into Green Day at a cougar karaoke bar in Del Mar, and Junior Seau at the beach.
6 a.m.
Carlos is finally moving out of his mother’s house.
Well, being forced out.
His mom is moving into a bachelorette suite in a complex where she can have martinis on the roof instead of stocking up on Capri Sun’s for her 22-year-old son.
His mom began packing up all his stuff to expedite the process, but founf his sex drawer in the process.
In it: empty boxes of condoms, love letters from high school, and vibrators.
In a completely passive aggressive move, she left the drawer wide open for when he returned.
Mat guessed what was in Sammi’s special drawer: unlicensed firearms, Molotov cocktails, and a series of steak knives.
Sammi expressed her sympathy for the guys as they seem to need a whole drawer full of goodies for their lady-guests. Sad.
Pop Trash: Joe Jackson audio from the BET Awards, Jackson autopsy, John Edwards has a sex tape, Kendra Wilkinson got married on Saturday, BYU finally lifts YouTube ban, and cheerleading named most dangerous sport.
DRUNK DIAL LINE!
Included:
Call the Drunk Dial Line if you’re afraid of the dark; got laid on the fire escape of the Radisson; too blazed to fill up gas tank; about to punch a fish in the face; Upside-down dogs is the best site on the net; Lady Gaga disguise for Vegas; Billie Jean cover; Nick Cologne is a douche part 1; Nick Cologne is a douche part 2; Nick Cologne is a douche part 3; and girls’ gibberish compare Mat to laundry cycles.
7 a.m.
What’s on the Internet?
and
and
http://ismichaeljacksonazombieyet.com/
and
TRIBUTE TO BILLY MAYS
Mat asked everyone where they were when they found out Billy Mays died.
Sammi was taking a nap when he came to her in a dream.
Preston was already sobbing, and the news only made things worse.
Carlos was at the beach. Junior Seau told him.
The first thing Mat thought about was how he could benefit from this tragedy.
Michael Jackson died, and immediately his albums, t-shirts, collectibles, EVERYTHING started going for thousands of dollars on sites like eBay and Amazon.
So, Mat headed to CVS, Rite Aid, Walgreens and every other drug store in his neighborhood and started buying all the Billy Mays “AS SEEN ON TV” items he could find to turn around for a profit.
We started Will it Work Wednesdays, on a Monday, in Billy Mays’ honor.
The products: the Fix-It Pro and Mighty Putty.
The Fix-It Pro did not work as the Chargers bolt Mat carved into the hood of Preston’s truck did not go away.
The Mighty Putty, however, did leave Preston’s truck fairly patriotic as Mat secured two American flags to the back of the bed.
He sent Sammi out to her car as well, where she found a bright orange triceratops tightly secured to the hood of her purple car.
Preston was pissed, Sammi thought hers was rad.
All in all, it was semi-successful. Thanks, Billy Mays. Thanks.
8 a.m.
THE MORE YOU KNOW WITH HARRY O.
Harry O., a sales guy at 91X, knows everything.
If you want to know about a motocross event that happened in San Diego in 1974, he’s your guy!
If you want to admire lobsters, he’ll take ya!
But most of all, if you want to hear a story, he’s got a million.
Preston catches them on tape. Mat plays them on air.
This week’s lesson was about when he got his ass kicked for “being a gentleman” to the daughter of the Op CEO.
The more you know.
BRANDON BOYD QUOTE? OR BONO QUOTE?
She’s a girl so I wouldn’t slap her, I’d lock her in a room full of spiders and let her think about what she’s doing to the youth of America… Boyd!
By being able to sing these same lyrics every night, it’s like I’m reaffirming some of my beliefs on a nightly basis to myself… Boyd!
As a rock star, I have two instincts, I want to have fun, and I want to change the world. I have a chance to do both… Bono!
(On listening to his own music) It’s so sweet, I feel like my teeth are rotting when I listen to the radio… Bono!
You’re so much more endearing with the sound turned off… Boyd!
The caller that could differentiate between the two pompous people won Incubus tickets, and possible passes to Outside Lands.
9 a.m.
SPECIAL GUEST!
Ida Maria came in to talk about her Norweigen roots, and playing the Casbah tonight for 91 cents as 91X’s “Next Big Thing.”
She played “Morning Light” and “I Like You Better When You’re Naked” in studio. Listen below!
More Pop Trash: Michael Jackson autopsy fake.
Hollaback, marijuana.
-SS
Standard Podcast: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download Ida Maria: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download Drunk Dial: Play Now | Play in Popup | Downloadhttp://ismichaeljacksonalive.com/
Too soon?
http://ismichaeljacksondead.com/
Too late?
Mat didn’t tell Sammi to bring Bruce. Nor did he bring Kiwi. Boo.
Creepy old dude seeks perfect woman.
5:30 a.m.
“Sammi. Unnnnnnnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhggghhhhhhh.”
-Mat and Carlos
6 a.m.
THE PRICE IS RIGHT RIPOFF GAME
Lisa from El Cajon and Brandon from Hemet called in to play a convoluted radio version of America’s favorite early morning game show.
Ian played the “old fat queen with a shiny jacket” as Mat put it.
He read various items from a Sky Mall magazine, and Lisa and Brandon had to guess the price without going over.
The first one to three won Killers tickets!
The Only Stainless Steel Wallet
Lisa: $69.99
Brandon: $70
Actual Retail Price: $90
The World’s Largest Crossword Puzzle
Brandon: $79.99
Lisa: $80
BUST
Brandon: $49.99
Lisa: 1 penny
Actual Retail Price: $30
Insect Repellant Hat
Lisa: $39.98
Brandon: $40
Actual Retail Price: $80
Basho the Sumo Wrestler Sculpture and Glass-Topped Table
Brandon: $149.99
Lisa: $150
Actual Retail Price: $225
16th-Century Italian Armor Sculpture with Halberd
Lisa: $1000
Brandon: 1 penny
Actual Retail Price: $975
Brandon wins!
Don’t forget to spay and neuter your pets and take your nose ring out when you have a baby.
Pop Trash: Obviously Michael Jackson died, Farrah Fawcett died, ‘Hottest Girls’ porn app taken off iPhone, Amanda Thornton kills baby, and more artists added to Street Scene.
DRUNK DIAL LINE!
Included:
Mat pulled over on the freeway to pull a knife on his fellow passengers; the Lonely Poet writes another song for Sammi; the definition of a four-finger lid; Michael Jackson jokes begin; and Preston is tormented.
7 a.m.
The 91X Morning Show: Drugs & Knives
What’s on the Internet?
http://ismichaeljacksonalive.com/
and
http://ismichaeljacksondead.com/
and
and
SPECIAL GUESTS!
John and Chad of Switchfoot came in to talk about the 5th Annual Switchfoot BroAm this weekend in Encinitas.
The event benefits Stand Up for Kids, an organization that aids homeless youth.
Between this and Stay Classy’s Campaign for Abandoned Youth, San Diegans have become very aware of this really important issue.
The Bro Am is a great community event, a party for charity, and FREE!
Switchfoot played an acoustic set (harmonica, guitar, cello–awesome) in studio before they took off.
They played “Southbound Train” and “Dare You to Move.” Listen below!
And keep an eye out for their forthcoming record “Hello Hurricane,” due out in October.
8 a.m.
CHEAP THRILLS with Sammi
In the third edition of this segment, Sammi suggested some more settings for cheap, creative fun.
VELODROME Morley Field: Banked track bike racing–like sustainable Nascar!
It’s completely free . You sit on an old bleacher with other spectators and everyone brings coolers of booze and food! (Drinking outside is the best.)
Races start at 6:30 p.m., so bring a portable dinner. Definitely better than eating in front of the TV. You can even get involved! They rent out track bikes and have training classes.
The races are every Tuesday in the summer from daylight savings to daylight savings. In the off season there’s a swap meet.
BEST OF BALBOA PARK: The Museum of Photographic Arts has a really cool exhibition by Jo Whaley right now. It features bugs in front of space backgrounds.
The MoPA is only $4 for students, but you can use any old or expired student ID (trust her.) If you can’t, it’s only $6 anyway!
After, walk straight past the lily pond to the botanical garden section. The best patches of grass to lay on are on either side of the building.
The best performer hangs there too. He does a great rendition of “Redemption Song.”
Also in the same area of Balboa Park is the Reuben H. Fleet Science Center with their fancy IMAX theater. It ALWAYS features films about underwater life.
The best place to smoke is right across the street opposite the park in this little area with pathways and countless, colorful flower bushes.
It’s a little pricey for Cheap Thrills, but all 10 a.m. “early bird” shows are only $8.50, which is great considering regular movies are $11 dollars!
JUNE GLOOM FREE “TO-DO’S”
Cloudy skies and rainy days getting you down? Don’t fear! There are still plenty of things to do outside!
Lay on the grass, look up at the sky and decide what animals the clouds look like.
Video games are a rainy day activity. If you can’t afford a new game, system, or a TV and want to get out, get ripped and go to Best Buy! When Guitar Hero came out Sammi used to go all the time. You have to fight off little kids, but it’s totally worth it to get out of the house and test out tons of games.
Sammi said she’s about to go play ‘Ghostbusters’ there today!
Mudsliding is the best rainy day activity EVER.
When it rains, find somewhere where the grass is worn down to dirt. (Wet dirt = mud, remember!?) Parks and fields are best, and it shouldn’t be too hard to find with the droughts and new conservation rules. Baseball fields work if you can’t find anything, but that is kind of mean because someone has to clean up after you.
Then, treat the mud like a full-field slip n slide! Get covered, roll around, throw it, SO FUN.
Get naked and hose down in a stranger’s yard. Makes it that much better.
Or sneak into a hotel hot tub.
CHEAP THRILLS CHEAP DRINK OF THE MONTH
GINNY BUCKET:
They feed a billion for super cheap.
Everyone gets a turkey baster to dip and sip. Gets you hammered and is super fun and easy.
For those who love the little things in life, Cheap Thrills is for you!
MORE DRUNK DIAL LINE!
Added:
Zabrocki, the 91X surf reporter, woke up drunk in Portland.
9 a.m.
MORE SPECIAL GUESTS!
Carlos Alazraqui and Cedric Yarbrough, or Dep. Garcia and Jones from Reno 911, came in to talk about their stand-up tonight at Viejas.
They described it as a “nude male nude revue.”
Cedric said “as an African American man, and the biggest guy in the room,” everyone was forbidden from commenting on the death of Michael Jackson.
Carlos blamed Obama for the death.
Then he said, “If Michael Jackson is reincarnated he will come back as a black man.”
Rad.
They spiraled into a series of awesome impressions and tastes of their show tonight.
The resentment harnessed by Cedric toward Carlos was palatable.
Fun fact: Carlos was the voice of Rocko on Rocko’s Modern life! Best show ever.
Mat showed them his “RENO!” tattoo, but all they did was make fun of his nipples.
Cedric’s Bill Cosby went on about nipples and pudding for quite some time.
Go see them!
Hollaback, marijuana.
-SS
Standard Podcast: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download Carlos Alazraqui and Cederic Yarbrough: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download Switchfoot: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download Drunk Dial: Play Now | Play in Popup | Downloadabby from a galaxy far far away are you smarter than a 13th grader? awesome balls Barack Obama Beer beer for breakfast bottom 40 carlos Chargers DEPreston diddy drunk Drunk Dial Line Dubya East County Election fatty Gary Busey gayness get your yelp on hit by a car jackass John McCain LOLZ Mat Diablo MMA obama old people Padres Politics preston Ruggy sam the cooking guy snuggies Stay classy steve west UFC useful Video Videos Vlog What's on the Internet world record wednesdays yelp
