Mat Diablo took on Michael Jordan in the second round of the “Greatest Man Alive” bracket.
Mat won because, for some unknown reason, everyone wanted to inflate the already dangerously magnified ego of a sad, neurotic radio DJ.
For shame, San Diego. This is why you don’t deserve a basketball team.
All I have to say is ‘91, ‘92, ‘93, ‘96, ‘97, ‘98 bitches.
http://www.fuckthiswebsite.com/
Street art and America’s favorite cuss word.
http://awkwardyearbooksignatures.com/
The demise of the youth of America.
5:30 a.m.
Mat was relieved that the Tsunami Advisory ended at 5 a.m.
Preston was upset that everyone knows he lives right near the beach, but no one thought to warn him of the impending danger.
Mat wondered how he hadn’t heard about it since it was all over the news, his Twitter, and emails.
Sammi even knew about it, although not from any source of technology. She felt it in the air.
6 a.m.
Mat tapped into the feed of one of the satellite stations that was inexplicably airing quick Christmas greetings from various celebrities.
Sammi convinced Mat to say “birthday, Mat” over “holidays” or “Christmas” in each message so it would sound like he has a bunch of celebrity friends.
BARGUMENT
Mat’s iPhone app “Barguments” is an instant conversation starter.
A Bargument is a debate with no wrong or right answer that must be uncomplicated enough to discuss after three beers.
The discussion: How should Sammi get rid of the giant beehive in the tree right next to the front door of her house?
Mat would steal a tank, demolish the entirety of the property, and set up camp in the smoldering crater left behind.
Preston would use the old drunkard-with-a-whiffle-bat approach.
Or he would tell Harry O the bees were talking shit about him.
Other suggestions included berating them, using a flamethrower, dressing up in a bumble bee costume and trapping them in a bubble, smoke them out with the help of a complicated tubing system, water balloons full of acid, playing Paper Tongues all day, challenging the strongest bee to a fight in which the winner gets the house, serving it an eviction notice, and space bears.
Oh and Anus Guy said Sammi should rub honey around the rim of her anus.
Pop Trash: Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel sex tape, DJ AM overdose accidental, Dustin Diamond wants to fight, Lauren Conrad’s book adopted to movie, bomb threat at The Green Hornet set, and another Fockers movie.
Mat used the tune of the Magnum P.I. theme song to explain Lauren Conrad’s movie.
7 a.m.
What’s on the Internet?
http://www.fuckthiswebsite.com/
and
http://awkwardyearbooksignatures.com/
Mat Diablo took on Michael Jordan in the second round of the “Greatest Man Alive” bracket.
Mat won because, for some unknown reason, everyone wanted to inflate the already dangerously magnified ego of a sad, neurotic radio DJ.
For shame, San Diego. This is why you don’t deserve a basketball team.
All I have to say is ‘91, ‘92, ‘93, ‘96, ‘97, ‘98 bitches.
8 a.m.
MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY WAS THERE
Mat reported on this story about a drunk man attacking a goose statue “just because it was a goose.”
Turns out, the inebriated offender was one Matthew McConaughey of such films as Two For the Money, Surfer Dude, Reign of Fire, Making Sandwiches, and My Boyfriend’s Back (among thousands of others).
McConaughey thought that the plaque on the statue read, “Birds are Bad,” but it actually said “Bird as Bard.”
In any case, he asked the bird for a light.
The goose just stared at him, so he took off his shirt.
“Everyone must recognize these abs.”
The goose just stared.
He named his filmography to jar the goose’s memory.
The goose just stared, so he asked if the goose had a problem.
The goose continued to stare.
He attacked the goose.
9 a.m.
THE BOTTOM 40
When Mat Diablo uses the little power he has to plummet past the pop on top and reach into the depths of the musical charts to dig some gems gleaming with promise and potential out from…
The Bottom 40.
Today’s featured tune from Mat’s personal musical piggy bank:
My Delirium_Ladyhawke
Consider yourselves informed.
Sammi unleashed her typewriter upon the show.
She had a message for Mat.
“We’re the three best friends that anybody could have.”
-SS
Today in the first round of the “Greatest Man Alive” bracket, Henry Rollins beat Jack White (bullshit) by two votes.
There is reason to believe the votes had been tampered with because clearly Jack White is the most incredible man in the world.
Shame on you, two people who voted for Henry instead.
(Sammi got really competitive.)
5:30 a.m.
Mat declared that the 91x Morning Show is now the 91X Morning Show Collective.
Thus we will supply you with medical marijuana… aurally.
Mat justified each person’s interest in medicinal marijuana for his/her ailment:
Carlos is plagued by chronic pain. Nothing specific, just an all-over paralyzing pain caused by the heaviness of being alive.
Preston’s disease is an influx of tears.
Sammi suffers from anxiety caused by homicidal tendencies.
And Mat is trying to cure his crippling gambling addicting.
Whatever works.
6 a.m.
FREAK OUT, MAN
Mat played audio of Matt Damon’s Christian Bale-esque meltdown on the set of Entourage.
He also played Jeff Marra of the Seattle Seahawks essentially firing the kicker after their loss to the Bears on Sunday.
Carlos called Mat a hypocrite and played glorious audio of him messing up the promo and subsequently flipping out. He destroyed a shopping basket with a golf club and verbally berated himself.
Listen below!
Pop Trash: Fred Durst’s marriage is already over, Thom Yorke’s new band with Flea, John Gosselin to get liposuction, Larry King’s contract up, Emmy Rossum divorces husband for Adam Duritz, and Kim and Reggie back together.
THE MORE YOU KNOW WITH HARRY O
Harry O., a sales guy at 91X, knows everything.
If you want to know about a motocross event that happened in San Diego in 1974, he’s your guy!
If you want to shoot stuff, he’ll take ya!
But most of all, if you want to hear a story, he’s got a million.
Preston catches them on tape. Mat plays them on air.
This week he was pissed about not making the cut on the
The more you know.
7 a.m.
What’s on the Internet?
This Craigslist post.
This iPhone app.
Also, this iPhone app.
Today in the first round of the “Greatest Man Alive” bracket, Henry Rollins beat Jack White (bullshit) by two votes.
There is reason to believe the votes had been tampered with because clearly Jack White is the most incredible man in the world.
Shame on you, two people who voted for Henry instead.
(Sammi got really competitive.)
8 a.m.
HOOKED ON CHRONICS
Hooked on Chronics is the segment in which you rip a bong load live on air, then read excerpts from the most difficult book you can find in your house (anything from an old chemistry book, to Anna Karenina).
Sam, currently unemployed, called in with a big ol’ bong and a book very close to everyone on the show’s hearts: Be Here Now.
(Seriously, it’s mind-blowing.)
So mind-blowing, in fact, that after Sam read a passage he was so “in the moment” that he imploded unto himself and we lost the call.
IPOD TOUCH RODEO
Like yesterday, Mat wanted to take someone from the show on with his favorite piece of technology.
Mat, with his iPod Touch, took on Sammi the luddite with the “A,” “J,” and “R” volumes of the 1938 Encyclopedia Britannica.
Since the books pre-dated any of the subjects of the trivia, Mat won in a heartbeat.
Frankie, the contestant, saw that coming, and was justly rewarded with a fancy new iPod Nano.
9 a.m.
THE BOTTOM 40
When Mat Diablo uses the little power he has to plummet past the pop on top and reach into the depths of the musical charts to dig some gems gleaming with promise and potential out from…
The Bottom 40.
Today’s featured tune from Mat’s personal musical piggy bank:
Vanity_Strung Out
Consider yourselves informed.
“We’re the three best friends that anybody could have.”
-SS
http://accidentaldong.blogspot.com/
This is amazing. Dicks on the brain, yo.
More dicks, different dicks.
The brand new bracket that debuted this morning will be used to decide once and for all who the “Greatest Man Alive” is.
Sammi argued for her indie rockers and fictional characters: Jack White, Thom Yorke, Johnny Greenwood, Ted Leo, Jeff Mangum, Kilgore Trout and Master Splinter.
Preston wanted comic book heroes and douchey, muscle-y men that he clearly aspires to be like Chuck Norris and Harry O.
Mat only argued to get himself on the list.
Carlos voted for anyone who has ever fought someone on TV, and old men who are still kickin’.
For now, the bracket includes Jack White, Rob Halford, Chuck Norris, Harry O, John Stewart, Johnny Depp, Sam the Cooking Guy, and Turko.
However, no one is happy with it so there may be a preliminary round and a reevaluation tomorrow.
Sammi wants to add Michael Jordan and Mat wants to add Obama.
abby from a galaxy far far away are you smarter than a 13th grader? awesome balls Barack Obama Beer beer for breakfast bottom 40 carlos Chargers DEPreston diddy drunk Drunk Dial Line Dubya East County Election fatty Gary Busey gayness get your yelp on hit by a car jackass John McCain LOLZ Mat Diablo MMA obama old people Padres Politics preston Ruggy sam the cooking guy snuggies Stay classy steve west UFC useful Video Videos Vlog What's on the Internet world record wednesdays yelp
