91X Morning Show with Mat Diablo

5:30 a.m.

Mat Diablo revealed that he turned one of his ex-girlfriends into a lesbian Scientologist who cut off all her hair, stopped wearing makeup and bought a Subaru.

How she told him:

“Hey, I’m munchin’.”

6 a.m.

Drunk Dial Line!

Included:

Boxing challenge for Mahoney; lunch ladies and man parts; Mahoney’s sex life; “Play Slightly Stoopid for the 50th time in an hour”; a pleased man says good morning; the Stoned and Connected With the Universe Dial Line; boobie lover; douchebag; and ”Denver Broncos, tell me how my ass tastes.”

When Mahoney got a little antsy in his pantsy, Carlos used a conch to summon the Mission Valley Sex Yeti. Mat heard her running down the freeway yelling, “A woman’s work is never done!”

What’s on the Internet? http://www.morecowbell.dj/

Mat had to give Sammi the Intern a Steely Dan Alarm Clock. Twice. He asked if she would prefer a Van Halen Eruption Alarm Clock. (No.)

 7 a.m.

SPECIAL GUEST!

Curtis Jackson, who you may know as 50 Cent, called in to talk about his new film with Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino, Righteous Kill, that opens today.

He described the flick as a gritty and smart psychological thriller.

To prepare for the role and avoid the intimidation that would inherently occur around Pacino and DeNiro, Jackson added an acting coach to his entourage.

Essentially, though, Mat and Mahoney had no idea what he was talking about throughout the entire interview.

Mahoney’s mom surprised him in the studio at the end of yesterday’s show to find him drunk at 8 a.m.

Then, when they made their way to his apartment, it was a complete disaster. The family waded through a wake of beer bottles and tear-splattered tissues only to find his bed in disarray. His mom investigated the scene and knew it had to have been the mark of the elusive Mission Valley Sex Yeti.

She proceeded to question Mahoney about the Yeti’s twisted call that has been plaguing the airwaves since Monday.

Then she set him up on a date that resulted in his having to explain the purpose of Astroglide to his mother.

After hearing about Mahoney’s series of uncomfortable events, Mat wondered about the most awkward moments other people have had with their parents.

Carlos once had to kick his mom’s “guest” out. He stomped up the stairs as a warning and pounded on the door demanding she come downstairs immediately. (What a hypocrite.)

Calls included gay pride shenanigans, sex ed, vibrators, bowel movements, drunk and naked roommates, and way too many naked grandparents.

Terry was awarded Metallica tickets and a new nickname for her description of her grandfather’s junk. Mat dubbed her “Old Balls.”

Pop Trash: Anderson tells Palin to suck it and Kanye arrested in airport.

8 a.m.

Ruggy came in to help you get your yelp on at bars that open at 6 a.m.!

Where to get your early buzz on:

Captain’s Quarters in Point Loma: Salty WWI vets!

West End in PB: No drunk is too drunk at this bar!

Silver Fox in PB: Happy hour from 6-10 a.m.!

Where to get your event on:

Korean Food Week

Ratatat @ HOB

Beer Olympics @ Aubergine

Ale Smith Night @ Sea Rocket

Intense Individual Party @ The Abby

Artwalk on the Bay

This American Life listening party @ The Office Bar

Chargers @ Broncos

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club @ HOB

Lady Dottie and the Diamonds @ Handlery Hotel

Surfrider’s annual Paddle for Clean Water in OB

As usual, check out yelp.com to fill your social calendar with all the best that San Diego has to offer.

Mahoney thought he was getting paid today. When he found out pay day is Monday, it put quite a damper on his plans for the Yeti this weekend.

Mat begged on behalf of Mahoney and Carlos, “What do you do when you’re broke in San Diego?”

Ruggy had a few suggestions for a date:

Take a romantic ride in the rear of Harry O.’s pick-up.

Play frisbee golf all day for $2.50.

Take her to the Harry Krishna Temple tonight for a free vegetarian buffet.

Buy a bottle of Popov and ride the trolley all over town.

Sit outside the drive-in and watch the movie without sound.

Bring her to Ruggy’s house to watch the hot dog eating competition from the 4th of July that he has recorded.

Tony called in with a brilliant idea: host a pot luck or a party. As soon as everyone arrives with arms full of food and booze, call the cops. The people will leave, but the booty will remain.

JoAnna suggested that his lady-Yeti pay this time.

91X’s own Nasty Nate works at Hustler. He told Mahoney to bring her into the store to pick up the marked-down $5 copy of Butt Blasters 4 and a bucket of popcorn.

9 a.m.

MAN DATE (Mandate) VIII: Beer for Breakfast… Live

The most ambitious mandate yet…

To celebrate Mahoney’s most recent feat–his own IPA being brewed at Rock Bottom Brewery (!!!)–the 91X Morning Show will broadcast Beer for Breakfast live next Thursday from Rock Bottom downtown!Mahoney’s IPA will be on tap, but everyone is also invited to watch him brew it from scratch.

Oh yeah and all the other beers in the brewery are fair game, as well (!!!!!!!)

As if an entire building of delicious beer and an excuse to get drunk at 6 a.m. was not enough, here’s a few more details about next Thursday:

The 91X Morning Show Breakfast Sandwich

The Muslims live and acoustic

Cold War Kids live and acoustic (!!!)

and Street Scene ticket giveaways every 15 minutes.

So join us for a live broadcast next Thursday from 6-10 a.m. at Rock Bottom Brewery downtown!

Mat declared Steve West the Papa Bear of the morning show.

 Carlos thanked Fitty Cent and the Mission Valley Sex Yeti conch.

Sammi thanked Nasty Nate and everyone in Butt Blasters 4.

Mahoney thanked Ruggy for all of his ideas and can’t wait to watch the hot dog competition on his DVR.

Mat thanked his lesbian Scientologist ex-girlfriend for inadvertently saving him from a life of trailers and baby daddies.

-SS

 

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 Get Your Yelp On With Ruggy [14:07m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Drunnk Dial Line Sept 12 [18:33m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download