91X Morning Show with Mat Diablo

5:30 a.m.

Mat Diablo wore his Obama T-shirt to all the wrong places yesterday.

His first stop, Albie’s Beef Inn, included a panel of old men plucked from 1950 and placed to line the bar. When Mat entered, a hush fell over the group before they began speaking loudly (and badly) about those damn Democrats.

On his way home, his wife asked him to pick up some Liquid Plumber. With no Home Depot or Lowes about, Mat had no choice but to stop at WalMart. Somehow he became disoriented and found himself in the tire and gun section. Employees prodded him, “You lost, boy?”

He ran.

 

Mat and Mahoney engaged in a civil, yet spirited, political dispute that began with casual and subtle insults directed at one another. Mat admired Mahoney’s “coping mechanisms,” i.e. ability to ignore any goings on that he does not like or agree with, while Mahoney called Mat’s puppy-eyed hope for change ”idealistic and naive.”

It became a battle of Hope v. Cynicism.

 

6 a.m.

Inspired by Mesa State’s senior Trevor Wikre’s decision to chop off his pinkie  rather than miss the end of his final football season, Mat wondered what he would sacrifice a pinkie for.

He decided that if it would guarantee two terms of Barack Obama, he’d chop one of the lil’ guys off.

Carlos would sacrifice one to sound like Steve West, or to give a four-finger punch to Bill O’Reilly.

Mahoney would to resurrect a zombie Rudy Ray Moore.

Callers’ reasons included one night with a few ladies from a telenovela, to end world hunger, Mother’s Circus Animals cookies, and a BJ Alarm Clock.

Brian called to say that he cut off his thumb with a saw. And nothing is worth the pain. (Although, for the record, he did not get to sleep with Megan Fox.)

And, finally, Sammi would chop one off to ride a dinosaur.

 

What’s on the Internet? http://dolemite.com/

 

7 a.m.

Mr. Chi City, the infamous Dollar Menuaire, made another video to teach guys like Mahoney how get ladies to drop their “vagina panties” with nothing more than a stocked refrigerator and a pimp kitchen.

Apparently an assortment of drinks is the key to keeping any woman’s company.

 

Pop Trash: Dolemite dies at 81, Sasha Grey may go legit in ‘The Girlfriend Experience,’ Nick Hogan released, nobody cares about Holly Madison anymore, and is Will Smith gay?

 

8 a.m.

 

WHITE TRASH COOKING WITH SAM THE COOKING GUY

Sam came in for some more hot plate, microwave oven, good ol’ fashioned home-cookin’!

(Or, in this case, good ol’ fashioned studio-cookin’.)

 

Today, he taught Mahoney how to make a Tuna Cristo (click for the recipe!)

Mat revealed that he was worried by the ingredients on Sam’s shopping list as, at first, he thought Sam would be making an omelet. This fear was definitely warranted; Mahoney doesn’t have a spatula, nor does he possess the finesse needed to successfully cook eggs, nor can he stomach eggs.

But a sandwich is in Mahoney’s realm of competence.

Mat and Sam argued about butter and its pretentious counter-part, vegan butter.

Sam, known for his substantial knowledge of all things cooking and extensive kitchen-related vocabulary, “french-toasticized” the bread for the sandwich. 

Meanwhile, Preston showed up for his only square meal of the week.

Sam discouraged any families already thinking of deep-frying their turkeys during this holiday season. The combination of lots of alcohol with a five-gallon bucket of extremely hot oil is not worth a crispy bird. Don’t deep fry your turkey!

 

Again, Mahoney admitted he is not a fan of tuna, and thought he might throw up. That was, of course, before he took a bite of the delicious meal.

Mat presented Sam with one of the bags of Mother’s Circus Animal cookies from his not-so-secret, greedy, gluttonous stash.

Sam thanked him, and proudly declared anyone that doesn’t love Circus Animal cookies un-North-American.

Check out each of Sam’s visits on the Video page of the 91X Morning Show website.

 

Pat the Intern will be hypnotized on a future episode of the 91X Morning Show. It was during this announcement that Mahoney suffered from another bout of illiteracy as he kept pronouncing it, “hippotized.”

 

9 a.m.

THE BOTTOM 40!

When Mat Diablo uses the little power he has to plummet past the pop on top and reach into the depths of the musical charts to dig some gems gleaming with promise and potential out from…

The Bottom 40.

News:AC/DC gets its own version of Rock Band sold exclusively at WalMart, and Travis Barker has been released from the burn center.

New Releases:  Hope for the Hopelessby Brett Dennen, This War Is Ours by Escape the Fate, Skeletal Lamping by Of Montreal, Oh The Places We’ll Go by Lake, Flashy by the Electric Six, Theater of the Mind by Ludacris, and a 7-inch of “Old Enough” by the Raconteurs.

This week’s featured tune from Mat’s personal musical piggy bank:

Formula 409 – Electric Six

 

Consider yourselves informed.

More Pop Trash: Kat Von D is on the wagon thanks to Nikki Sixx, Chevy Chase unimpressed by Palin’s appearance, and Silverman booed in London.

 

Carlos un-thanked Mat just in case anyone thanked him.

Sammi thanked Mr. Chi City for the term “vagina panties.”

Mahoney thanked Dolemite for teaching him how to treat a lady.

Mat thanked Sammi for single-handedly starting the Dinosaur Rodeo and Pat for agreeing to be hippotized.

 

-SS