91X Morning Show with Mat Diablo

5:30 a.m.

Mat Diablo reminded everyone to make the first thing they say, “Rabbit, rabbit,” today, since it is the first of the month.

Carlos said that he did; Mat called him out:

“I know what Carlos’ first words this morning were; ‘Mooooommmmmm, mommmmmmmmmmm!’”

 

The Del Mar County Fair addressed Mahoney to teach him about good ol’ fashioned festival rock music like WAR, Boston, Grand Funk Railroad, etc.

 

6 a.m.

Mahoney reported that tennis is happening.

 

Hot Girl Maps San Diego is finally up, but very disappointing.

So, Mat declared hotgirlmaps.com what’s NOT on the Internet.

What IS on the Internet? Animatronic robots performing hit songs.

 

Mat Diablo asked Sammi the Intern to use her alleged journalistic prowess to recap her experience at the Punk Rock ProAm, since it is the first time she spent an entire day with them at an event.

Her internly duties involved keeping the beer cold, and Carlos drunk.

Carlos, citing the mantra, “It’s the Punk Rock ProAm,” proceeded to knock down every last little post on the course.

She went into detail about Mahoney’s challenging of a guest to shotgun a beer, and the “premature tilt” that made it end in an epic fail. Most of the beer was on the right half of his body, or still in the can.

A man politely petitioned her to expose her breasts for him with his wife. She complied, since he asked nicely. Carlos stopped talking to her because he missed it.

Then Carlos, the genius, told a drunk girl that was crawling on Mat and Mahoney’s cart to drive him and Sammi the Intern around. This is what resulted in the flipping of the cart.

“It’s not that I didn’t expect to get a concussion yesterday, but it might have been nice not to.”

 

7 a.m.

Mat and Mahoney played the audio they recorded live from the ProAm.

First they encountered Moose. Moose doesn’t wear shoes.

Next came Scott from Unwritten Law.

Mat, unfortunately for him, found out that he was not compatible with the F Street girl because he didn’t want to be her bitch.

Styker, the host, told Mat that his partner was high.

Although DJ Kilmore was not playing the best game of his life, he was excited about all the green. On the course.

Andrew Pinnock claimed he can drive equally as far as he can bench.

Tommy from Poway was the life of the ProAm. “He’s just good at life.”

A girl at the Viejas hole taught Mat how to “credit card check” someone.

Heather the Beer Cart Girl said that the day-to-day golfers don’t ask to see her breasts as much as the ProAm-ers.

Mahoney refused to admit he lost three shotgun contests.

The people at the Stay Classy hole came with enough alcohol to supply the entire tournament with a solid inebriation. And that they did.

Sean and his wife were on a quest to see as many chests as possible.

Jay of Bad Religion enlightened Mat to the punk rock elements of golf.

And, some guy peed on a squirrel.

 

Pop Trash: Heidi Montag wants to record a Christian Rock album, Eddie Murphy takes it back to the stage,

In related news, Spencer Pratt From a Helicopter spoke to Mahoney to tell him he was in said helicopter to get closer to his man, J.C.

 

8 a.m.

Meet Dimitri, your friendly, neighborhood pathological stalker.

Apparently he teaches classes in Toronto about being a great lover.

Mat was frightened by the similarities between Mahoney and Dimitri. They put it all on the table early, and try ultimatums and bargaining to get what they want.

And it never works.

 

MAKE IT STOP!

The caller that correctly identified “Overkill” by Men At Work won tickets to a 4 ‘O Clock Friday show of his choice!

 

9 a.m.

 Mat pointed out how it silly it was for him to give away a Bluetooth headset every hour today, as people calling in to win would be violating the new handset ban every hour.

The 91X Morning Show: Rewarding those who refuse the law!

 

Mat wanted to discuss the new ban on talking on a cell phone handset while driving because of a few loopholes he found.

 First Offense: $97

Second Offense: $250

Mat found that police officers are exempt, which he did not like. He also found that texting while driving is still legal, which is ridiculous.

Mahoney said that it shouldn’t make a difference if the driver is on a handset or Bluetooth because he is still disengaged. The simple act of talking should be banned. Then, singing to the radio would have to be outlawed. Then radios altogether.

Thus, he advocated a Coordination Test to be administered at the DMV to filter out those who are capable of talking while driving.

A caller suggested that police officers better enforce reckless driving laws, and the utmost penalty is enforced if the officer finds that a cell phone was involved.

 

 More Pop Trash: Madonna and A-Rod?

 

Carlos thanked whoever put on the Punk Rock ProAm.

Sammi the Intern thanked Carlos for almost killing her yesterday.

Mat Diablo thanked Carlos for flipping the golf cart, and the guy who’s yard Sammi the Intern peed in.

Mahoney thanked Mat for paying for all the beer yesterday.

 

-SS