91X Morning Show with Mat Diablo

5:30 a.m.

Mat replayed Sammi’s rap about bunk beds (”Funk Beds”) in case you missed it yesterday!

You can also find it at the bottom of yesterday’s recap.

Carlos got pulled over during the show meeting last night for talking on his cell phone while driving.

But he got out of it after casually mentioning he was on his way to Media Day at Petco Park.

That’s right, he dropped the 91X card.

So Mat invited everyone listening to do the same so that it won’t work for anybody after awhile.

Mat made fun of the terrible flames on Preston’s truck so Sammi made fun of the terrible flames on Mat’s arm.

Inevitably, the conversation turned to Bub Rub.

(woo woooooo.)

The first installment of Out of Work Wednesdays brought Mario the Mexican Morrissey Fan out of TJ and into the studio! He is the official co-host for today!

6 a.m.

The 91X Morning Show: Fueled by Adderall and Mexican Pastries

Mario gave Mat advice about having a baby. He warned him not to watch the birth from the doctor’s POV.

DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Included:

Busy B. checkin’ in with his crunchy Lakeside gumbo and deli meats; Mat Diablo has a purdy voice; Captain Morgan dedicates “Love Hurts” to Mat; Marijuana is always legal in that guy’s house; bunk bed invitations for Sammi; somebody told me, that you had a bunk bed; Ken Choppa wants a frisbee or a key chain from that game indicating how smart you are; moustache rides; and Boy George called Diablo and wants his nose ring back.

What’s on the Internet?

April Fool’s: Google’s CADIE, The Guardian is now Twitter Only, and upside down Youtube all day.

http://www.missrodeolakeside.com/

and

http://www.morrissey-solo.com/

and

http://www.life.com/

THE 91X MORNING SHOW 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY

Join us Friday morning at the 7 10 Beach Club in PB for a FREE party honoring our first year on the air!

Can you believe it!?

Performances by Asher Roth and Iglu & Hartley will provide the soundtrack for a day of drunken celebration.

 Celebrity Guests Confirmed Thus Far: Sam the Cooking Guy, Ahmed Ahmed, The Pad Squad, and many more!

7 a.m.

 Brad, the 91X Morning Show’s first caller EVER, called back in to say Happy Birthday.

WORLD RECORD WEDNESDAYS

So, first Carlos broke the world record for most pictures of fish sandwiches viewed in one minute.

His assistant held and flipped a stack of stills of various fish sandwiches while Carlos yelled the word “FISH” every time he saw one. The old record, 25, was surpassed and more than doubled at 62 by THE Carlos Montoya.

Then Mat broke the world record for number of David Lee Roth “Panama kicks” done in one minute with 93 kicks. It was quite a feat.

He wore Preston’s karate pants and a shirt that Sammi “David-Lee-Roth-ed out” for him.

Mat set the record for most Waldos found in a Where’s Waldo book in one minute at 4!

Preston ate six cupcakes in two minutes and four seconds CRUSHING the original record of six in 11 minutes. He then reset it at seven cupcakes in two minutes and 45 seconds.

Simultaneously, Mat fit a record 16 pieces of Hubba Bubba in his mouth.

They were both drooling messes.

Sammi attempted (and failed) to break the record for most compliments given in 60 seconds. She blamed it on the fact that he had a roomful of strangers while she was stuck with four people she barely likes. (Just kidding.)

Mat then set the record for most backhanded compliments in a minute at 7.

But no one wanted to congratulate him as they were all upset by his remarks.

Sammi subsequently redeemed herself and broke the record LIVE at the World Record Live Broadcast.

Also broken there: Carlos reclaimed his fish sandwich record, most giraffe tattoos on one shoulder, longest “shhhhhhhhhh,” most binder clips attached to a face, fastest beer shotgun, and many more!

Mat broke the world record for most cards in a deck guessed incorrectly in a row in a minute with 25!

Sammi failed again, tying the record for number of donut holes shoved into donuts in 15 seconds.

Last week, Mat failed miserably at attempting to beat the record for naming a rock band for each letter of the alphabet as quickly as possible.

Then Carlos and Sammi went head to head to see who could do the worm the most times in a minute. Carlos got 26, and Sammi matched that within the first 40 seconds WITH boobs and a belly button ring. She did one more in the last 20 seconds just to ensure her victory.

 Today DJ Edgartronic ANNIHILATED the Rock Band record by naming a band for each letter of the alphabet in 20 SECONDS beating the current record of 53.

Then Carlos did 131 karate chops with accompanying sounds in 30 seconds.

Break your own records at http://urdb.org/!

And keep an eye out for footage of all our marvelous feats on the VIDEO page of the 91X Morning Show website.

Tune in next week as the 91X Morning show takes on the world, one record at a time.

Pop Trash: Ashton Kutcher hires Gary Busey (April Fools?), Warner Bros. acquires the Pirate Bay (April Fools?), Special Olympics tries to remove “r-word,” Chelsea Clinton to marry, and Kendra Wilkinson is putting out her own line of stripper poles.

8 a.m.

Mat asked for ideas for a theme for the 91X team for the Carlsbad 5000.

He wanted to be the Might Morphin’ Flower Rangers.

He also thought he should dress as Octomom and everyone else could be all his babies. Someone called in and suggested it, too! Brainwaves.

Other ideas: Smells Like Team Spirit, Bruce Jenner and the Kardashians, Luchadores masks and Speedos and a Bunk Bed, Classic SNL Characters, Snow White and the 7 “R-words,” and Weedies.

Join in the fun! Join in the run! What else can I rhyme!?

 9 a.m.

Mario’s wife called in to tell him what a great job he’s doing.

Sammi and Mat argued about how cute/vicious sea turtles may or may not be.

 SPECIAL GUEST!

Scott from Stay Classy returned for a Yelp-like segment to get people involved with important causes.

Get Your Karma On?

Tomorrow: Wine Into Water @ Airport Lounge

The more wine you drink, the more water you provide for those in need!

Saturday: HUGE Pre-Party @ High Dive

All Elemental Experience tickets purchased at the High Dive will be upgraded to VIP tickets!

April 11: PB Scavenger Hunt & Pre-Party starting and ending @ PB Bar & Grill

Find Secret Pizza!

And don’t forget to get your tickets to Elemental Experience!

Mario did his American Idol Recap LIVE! (As his family continued to call in and say they’re listening.)

Carlos thanked Chrissy Russo for some reason.

Preston thanked Carlos for some reason.

Mario thanked everyone.

Sammi thanked Adderall and Mexican Pastries.

Hollaback, marijuana.

-SS

 

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 Scott From Stay Classy: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Drunk Dial: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

5:30 a.m.

Mat accurately compared Preston’s hairstyle to that of Vanilla Ice.

Mat declared a new hero of the 91X Morning Show: Rory McInnes.

He painted a 60 ft. penis on the roof of his parents’ house so it would be seen on Google Earth. And it was. His response when confronted by his parents was, “Oh, so you found it then.”

Sammi asked Mat if she could borrow the stolen Domino’s delivery sign Carlos once put on his car and donate it to Secret Pizza.

They do deliver sometimes, if Sammi or McKenzie feels like going.

Mat called Secret Pizza the “dada art of pizza.”

He imagines they are created in interesting shapes and you can put absolutely anything you want on them.

Preston said once his pizza took 45 minutes to make as Sammi was putting pepperoni poetry on his pie.

Finally, a pizza place operated by two bohemian stoners…

6 a.m.

DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Included:

One of Mat’s future daughter’s future boyfriends; Preston and Carlos called from the other studio to tell Mat he needs to take out his nose ring; a search for Angry Guy Chip; Carlos’ word “lope” is stupid; a fan of naked Colombians; make Sammi say “helicopter”; the difference between March 24 and June 12 is 13 inches; Sammi needs to add a dude on MySpace; slappin’ da bass, man; his house got attacked by DANKis Khan; and Braylon Edwards endorses “Sex on Fire”.

 What’s on the Internet? http://funnyexam.com/

7 a.m.

WORLD RECORD WEDNESDAYS

So, first Carlos broke the world record for most pictures of fish sandwiches viewed in one minute.

His assistant held and flipped a stack of stills of various fish sandwiches while Carlos yelled the word “FISH” every time he saw one. The old record, 25, was surpassed and more than doubled at 62 by THE Carlos Montoya.

Then Mat broke the world record for number of David Lee Roth “Panama kicks” done in one minute with 93 kicks. It was quite a feat.

He wore Preston’s karate pants and a shirt that Sammi “David-Lee-Roth-ed out” for him.

Mat set the record for most Waldos found in a Where’s Waldo book in one minute at 4!

Preston ate six cupcakes in two minutes and four seconds CRUSHING the original record of six in 11 minutes. He then reset it at seven cupcakes in two minutes and 45 seconds.

Simultaneously, Mat fit a record 16 pieces of Hubba Bubba in his mouth.

They were both drooling messes.

Sammi attempted (and failed) to break the record for most compliments given in 60 seconds. She blamed it on the fact that he had a roomful of strangers while she was stuck with four people she barely likes. (Just kidding.)

Mat then set the record for most backhanded compliments in a minute at 7.

But no one wanted to congratulate him as they were all upset by his remarks.

Sammi subsequently redeemed herself and broke the record LIVE at the World Record Live Broadcast.

Also broken there: Carlos reclaimed his fish sandwich record, most giraffe tattoos on one shoulder, longest “shhhhhhhhhh,” most binder clips attached to a face, fastest beer shotgun, and many more!

Last time Mat broke the world record for most cards in a deck guessed incorrectly in a row in a minute with 25!

Sammi failed again, tying the record for number of donut holes shoved into donuts in 15 seconds.

Today, Mat failed miserably at attempting to beat the record for naming a rock band for each letter of the alphabet as quickly as possible.

Then Carlos and Sammi went head to head to see who could do the worm the most times in a minute. Carlos got 26, and Sammi matched that within the first 40 seconds WITH boobs and a belly button ring. She did one more in the last 20 seconds just to ensure her victory.

Break your own records at http://urdb.org/!

And keep an eye out for footage of all our marvelous feats on the VIDEO page of the 91X Morning Show website.

Tune in next week as the 91X Morning show takes on the world, one record at a time.

Pop Trash: Zac Efron dumps Footloose, Rihanna with Wilmer Valdarrama, Tap Project Benefit tonight, George Lopez gets his own talk show, Bob Barker returns to ‘Price’, and Brazilian kayaker sets world record.

8 a.m.

PRANK WARS

Harry Oh No put a confederate flag on Mat’s license plate that he didn’t notice for two weeks. Then he put a bunch of lobster heads in his office.

Mat needed help with retaliation.

Callers’ suggestions included Craigslist free stuff, car sales, crickets, drive bys, silver oxide, fishing line, acid, melted cheese in the shower, a 60 foot penis, a rabid raccoon, a wooden bat, another gun, and human heads.

Mat was looking for something a bit simpler.

Stay tuned as vengeance is sought.

MORE DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Added:

Ken Choppa gives Sammi a list of gibberish and nicknames while driving on the 15.

9 a.m.

SPECIAL GUEST!

Fieldy from Korn came in to talk about his new book “Got the Life: My Journey of Addiction, Faith, Recovery and Korn.”

Fieldy was addicted to alcohol, drugs, food, everything.

Most of his drugs were acquired from “rock doctors” backstage at Korn shows.

His lowest points, detailed in the book, include when he nearly killed girlfriend and was almost kicked out of Korn.

When he read his book, he realized he should have been in jail way more than a couple times.

The good news is that everything getting better each day.

Korn is going back on tour on April 25.

He thinks of himself as a much more likeable guy now that he has a newfound faith in Christianity .

His bandmates are happier with his new attitude too, which makes him happier to be friends with people without all the drama and turmoil.

He even has a Jesus tattoo in his armpit, which he showed to Mat.

Check out his new project Stillwell, and get your copy of his book signed tonight starting at 7:30 at the Barnes and Noble at 10775 Westview Parkway.

His first sentence in San Diego was, “Take me to the bomb taco spot.” Nice.

More Pop Trash: Lindsay Lohan crashes her expensive car, and TR Knight causes smashup.

The only lesson worth learning: Mat is racist against Africanized bees.

Carlos thanked Sammi for kicking his ass.

Preston thanked someone funny, but I forgot.

Sammi thanked Ken Choppa for all her new nicknames.

Hollaback, marijuana.

-SS

 

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 Fieldy From Korn: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Drunk Dial: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

5:30 a.m.

Mat had to seriously consider wearing women’s underwear this morning after his load of laundry in the dryer was still damp.

In an effort to his avoid soggy socks and musty undies, Mat hobbled over to his wife’s dresser and rifled through hers.

There he had to make the choice no man should have to make… women’s underwear? Or commando?

Everyone hoped that Mat chose the latter. Carlos and Sammi agreed there’s nothing wrong with nothing underneath.

In the end, he went with the wet ones.

 6 a.m.

DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Included:

The Great Mat Diablo Nose Ring Debate; Sammi should have a beautiful day; “Daygo” guy apologizes to Sammi; Michael McDonald says, “hell yeah for McKenzie”; 1800s Guy wants a job; Ruggy’s 30-second rundown of SXSW, “Puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuke”; Hot Fire Hit Factory’s SXSW rundown, “The Bronx rules your face and if you don’t like them you’re an asshole”; pineapple pizza exploded in the microwave; a dude took a shit on his ex-girlfriend’s porch; a guy lets Sammi know he has a beard; blumpkin; can’t has none of these hot bitches; ho-tel, mo-tel, Holiday lick my balls; Sammi gets asked on a date to In-N-Out; dude proposes a threesome with Mat Diablo and Carlos; Mat and Ruben are gay; and BAM! A punch for Mat, right in the dick.

What’s on the Internet?

http://scanwiches.com/

and

http://scanwich.com/

Controversy.

Check out our new hero: http://www.theultimatefishingshow.com/.

He’ll be on the show tomorrow.

7 a.m.

 Carlos was on his daily run yesterday when a rogue wave overtook him and washed him out to sea.

It was only into knee-deep water, but he was still taken aback by it.

Instinctively he popped up to play off the embarrassment, but was knocked over once again by the rushing tide.

His sweatshirt and sweatpants were soaked, and he shivered.

A mile or so from his car, he knew what he had to do to prevent an onset case of Hypothermia.

Bear Grills taught Carlos that anytime you are cold, you must immediately strip off any wet clothes. 

So he ran, 95% naked, a mile to his car as fast as he could past family picnics and first date strolls.

Jean’s friend wrecked herself onstage at a Rocket from the Crypt Halloween Show while dressed as a bee.

Another caller was pantsed on a cold, commando day in front of his entire class.

Mat was covered in watermelon guts freaking out on acid onstage with Face to Face at Warped Tour. 

A caller did not know that a “Royal Flush” urine cleansing system would make him crap uncontrollably on the way to a job interview. Neither did his white shorts.

Sammi made out with a dude with a bottom grill in front of everyone she knew. Her brother was visiting. 

And Chris the Girl tried to cheat the French toilet system and was subsequently sprayed with Lysol and toilet water.

Pop Trash: Dan Rollman was on Jimmy Fallon, Portia Del Rossi apologizes for her marriage, Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart to be married, and Kutcher shows Moore in her grannies.

8 a.m.

Mat read two stories about teachers hooking up with students.

He wanted to know if he just missed out back in the day, or if this is not as common as the media would have him believe.

Arie said there was a 50% his geometry teacher was hitting on him when he was a junior in high school. 

But he was too young and too scared.

Another caller had a friend who had dated her teacher from JUNIOR HIGH on. They married when she graduated high school. Ew.

“Heather Canton is not a pedophile.”

Sammi wanted to throw it out there that she wants the hot, faux-hawked lithography teacher in the art department at state that only listens to the Beta Band and Tom Waits.

‘SPLAIN YOSELF

Mike from El Cajon called in to play the second edition of this game where Mat explains classic movies he’s never seen, but he hung up after attempting to ask Mat about the lesser-known/nonexistent 80s flick Pretty Lady.

Ben could name Point Break, Ace Ventura, and Biodome, but not Top Gun or Better Off Dead.

Thus he won tickets to Offspring and Alkaline Trio on July 13.

9 a.m.

MORE DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Added:

Heh, heh, do a barrel roll, Carlos; and how do the other shows have so much money!?

More Pop Trash: Matt Lauer ran into a deer on his bike, Sylvia Plath’s son killed himself, Alex Rodriguez is slimey, and the Nicholas Cage Plot Generator.

WHAT DID YOU LEARN TODAY?

Lessons learned: You should avoid Blacks Beach at high tide or you’ll see a naked Columbian, Mat’s dog is scarred from watching him try on women’s underwear, and bring your hunting rifle as you bike through Central Park.

Carlos thanked scanbitches.com.

Sammi thanked the wave that almost carried Carlos away.

-SS

 

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 Standard Podcast: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

5:30 a.m.

Mat started talking about baby poop which upset Sammi to the point of vomiting.

Carlos was the only member of the show to attend the Pennywise show last night. He claimed that when he did the stage announcement, Fletcher threw him off the stage and into the crowd.

No one believed him until Zabrocki, the surf reporter, called to confirm. Zabrocki also wanted to talk more about baby poop.

6 a.m.

DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Included:

A happy customer of the Pennywise show; Mat Diablo’s “Buddy Holly” remix; best weekend ever included a $5 footlong and a Stone Arrogant Bastard Ale; “Love Hurts” again; “Love Hurts” really sucks; Interior Crocodile Alligator remix about the 91X Morning Show; Preston eats Fancy Feast; Incubus hurts; Quizno’s and Subway employee brawl; love still hurts; Informative Cookie Monster explains the Serengeti; the Whet Your Whistle While You Work-a-thon; El Cajon girls screech; and a big freaking Carne Asada burrito is better than Pennywise, Chorizo is not.

What’s on the Internet? http://www.shredordie.com/

7 a.m.

Mat was upset that the times, they are a changin’.

Big Hollywood execs are taking the classic, pure board games from our youth and reforming them into big-budget movies.

Candyland, Monopoly, Clue (again), Quiji Boards… HAVE YOU NO SHAME, HOLLYWOOD?

And now the powers that be at SDSU have sold the rights to Cox Arena to Viejas, thus making it Viejas Arena.

The gang came up with some better names and sponsors:

McRib Locator Arena

Snuggie, Slanket, Nuddle Arena

Pecs Arena

Sam the Cooking Guy’s Mashed Potato Taco Arena

Tom DeLonge’s V-Neck Tee Collection Arena

Chrissy Russo Doppler 5000 Arena

Valtrex Arena

D.E.A. Arena

Mostly Over-privileged White Kids Arena

Pay As You Go Phone Arena

Bird’s Eye View of Date Rape Arena

Casa de Syphilis

Analberto’s Arena

Leave it Alone Arena

Pop Trash: Martin Lawrence is not dead, new Jason Bateman movie casting on Craigslist, Christina Ricci engaged, Natasha Richardson declared braindead, ‘Where the Wild Things Are’ poster, and iPhone 3.0 unveiled.

8 a.m.

SPECIAL GUEST!

Perry Farrell of Jane’s Addiction, called in to talk about the band and their upcoming plans.

Mat asked Farrell, a renown surfing aficionado, where his favorite San Diego surf spot is.

(Cardiff: he used to live there.)

He originally moved from Florida out to California in the late 70s to skate and surf. And for the girls.

Aside from performing his live electro music with his wife, you may have heard that Jane’s Addiction is playing with Nine Inch Nails on May 16th in San Diego.

Farrell let Mat know that they do not plan on recording an album. They created some really great new songs that WILL eventually be released, but not in album form.

Farrell also admitted that the rumors surrounding his baby (Lollapalooza) ARE true.

(Jane’s Addiction, Depeche Mode, Beastie Boys, Kings of Leon)

Although he assured Mat that all the bands playing could be headliners.

Mexican Mario the Morrissey Fan called in to recap American Idol for the 91X Morning Show, since no one watches it.

Mario summed up “Grand Ole Opry Night” for everyone.

He rifled through his pages and pages of notes (so cute) and shared his heavily-accented opinion on each contestant.

He was extremely disappointed with the “country rap” featured prominiently on last night’s show. The “tetu” girl was coughing while she was singing. And he taught Mat that cross-dressing does not make you gay. Then he called the Octomom a douchebag.

OUT OF WORK WEDNESDAYS

Economy got you down?

Laid off?

Bored?

We’ll give you a job for a day!

Every Wednesday Mat will invite one applicant to come up and co-host the show for a day.

Apply by sending an email to Iwantajob@91x.com

Send a quick resume and cover letter, a synopsis of who you are, and why you want to do it.

9 a.m.

Mat played Argupedia: Sarah Palin.

Carlos thanked Mat for teaching him about baby poop and for being unremorseful about treating Sammi’s liver like a toy.

Preston thanked the Quizno’s/Subway turf war.

Sammi thanked the Informative Cookie Monster for making her day.

Mat thanked Tom DeLonge’s V-neck Tees.

 Hollaback, marijuana.

-SS

 

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 Perry Farrell [8:50m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Drunk Dial [14:27m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

5:30 a.m.

Mat, in remembrance of Ron Silver, dug up the trailer for “Heat Vision and Jack,” a TV pilot directed by Ben Stiller starring Jack Black as a former astronaut, Owen Wilson as a human/motorcycle hybrid, and Silver as the villain as himself.

Tom Jones sang the theme song.

Mat pitched a show to any Hollywood big-shots listening.

He called it “Secret Pizza.” It was about two girls, we’ll call them Sammi and McKenzie, who worked at a pizza place that had painted a detailed mural of the horizon on the front so anyone who looked at the place head on could not see it and thus could not buy any pizza.

He then rambled on about potent strains of marijuana, unicorn horns, and secret powers until he confused Will Smith with the oldest Cosby daughter.

6 a.m.

DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Included:

Drunk dude wants to have sex with Sammi; McRib in El Centro; “Love Hurts” hurts; Guerrilla Gays successfully took over McGregor’s; Diablo’s got a pretty mouth, BAHHH; every time you get in your car you hear “Love Hurts”; Carlos needs to cut his hair, but the white girl is hot; Disney Donny; “Love Hurts” is on again; Diablo’s going to be an easy target; Carlos is gay; “Love Hurts” on again; and a former weed smoker now makes more than his old teachers.

Captain Morgan was very upset to hear “Love Hurts” after all his drunk dials. So were we.

What’s on the Internet?

http://wefollow.com/

and

http://www.pitbullarmory.com/

Pennywise is playing a 91Xclusive show TOMORROW for St. Patrick’s Day at the Belly Up!

The show is absolutely free!

The only way to get tickets now is to come down to Rock Bottom tomorrow morning for our live broadcast. 

We will be giving out Pennywise tickets every NINE minutes to make sure you start and end your alcoholiday right!

You will also be granted a pair of tickets to The Jagermeister Tour featuring Pennywise and Pepper at the San Diego Sports Arena on May 30th.

So come out to Rock Bottom Brewery St. Paddy’s Day (tomorrow) morning as the 91X Morning Show boradcasts LIVE!

7 a.m.

SPECIAL GUEST!

Fergal Murray, Brew Master of a little brewery called GUINESS, called in to talk about beer and St. Paddy’s Day.

He is the US ambassador of all things Guiness-related.

Mat had him explain the artistry involved in having a Guiness experience:

First you need a great pub with an expert and charming bartender. The taste of Guiness starts with the beauty in the glass. The pour, the head, the color. Murray said you have to drink it with your eyes first. Then it becomes easier and more enjoyable to savor the wonderful, rich flavors, and take it to the back of your throat.

Guiness is celebrating 250 years of brewing.

Murray is involved with Propsition 317 to make St. Patrick’s Day a national holiday in the US. He thinks we work too hard here.

Help Guiness get 900,000 signitures!

No one is sure of the actual legislative process involved, but they are going to just bring the signed petition to Congress and make it happen somehow.

Then who knows what other holidays will observed by everyone! Cinco de Mayo? St. Joseph’s Day? Pulaski Day?

Sign it here.

Pop Trash: MacGyver movie, Charlie Sheen has twins, 100 things more popular than Twitter, Don Imus has prostate cancer, Michael Phelps talks about ‘the incident’ again, Matt Damon confirms ‘Bourne 4′, and Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy.

8 a.m.

Preston found a purse under his bed.

Inside: chapstick, credit card, ID, $30 in cash.

Apparently a one-night-stand about a year ago instituted the old “chew my arm off to get out of bed” bit to flee the terrifying chokehold of Preston’s psyche.

In other words, the woman left the purse, and got the hell out. Never to return.

A listener astutely pointed out that that meant the girl would rather go to the DMV than back to Preston’s.

Everyone except Carlos pretty much agreed that he deserved to take the cash. Enough time had passed for him to claim it as his own and buy a really nice sandwich.

Mat also suggested he sell the ID to some underage chick at SDSU, AND sell the fancy Coach purse on eBay.

Now Preston will attempt to pick up chicks only in the hope that he will score another purse, and thus another meal.

Sammi proposed that everyone do tomorrow’s live broadcast in their best Irish accents. Unfortunately hers is God awful.

But her favorite holiday coincides with her favorite drink: Irish Carbombs! Come do a few tomorrow morning!

And yummy breakfast specials. And green beer.

9 a.m.

MORE DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Added:

If the 91X Morning Show had a baby it would be the second coming of Jesus; wienie in a bikini; and Cookie Monster sings Interior Crocodile Alligator.

Pop Trash: Radiohead finally responds to Miley.

Everyone thanked lope and beef. Lopin’ and beefin’.

Hollaback, marijuana.

-SS

 

 Standard Podcast [61:31m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Drunk Dial [10:41m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

5:30 a.m.

Mat complained about his pregnant wife eating so many damn bananas.

Everyone was excited for the Friday the 13th Snuggie Pub Crawl. Ruggy advices those who wish to attend to simply look for the group of assholes wearing snuggies and slugging $2 cans of tecate at Bar Pink.

The Guerilla Gays are taking over McGregor’s in Mission Valley tonight!

6 a.m.

DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Included:

Get it ooooooon; 1800s Guy addresses Octomom; if Mat plays Iglu and Hartly again, a listener is jumping ship to Hot Country 95.7; an Informative Cookie Monster impression detailing the word “baton”; Interior Crocodile Alligator, I drive a Chevrolet movie theater; the governator addresses Octomom; an invitation to Carlos for some Disc Frisbee Golf; advice for Sammi; song about Carlos; MC Birfday; Informative Cookie Monster explains Gorgonzola; Day Man; Asher Roth addict has withdrawals; and Carlos needs to call Ken Choppa from Temec.

What’s on the Internet? http://legalmarijuanadispensary.com/

 7 a.m.

SPECIAL GUEST!

Jeffrey Ross called in to talk about his upcoming appearance on the Roast of Larry the Cable Guy.

Mat first asked about his movie documenting his experience entertaining the troops called “Patriot Act.”

It followed Ross on his first trip overseas with Drew Carey about which he joked, “[The soldiers] loved Drew Carey because they love blonds with big boobs.”

Ross, the Roastmaster General at Comedy Central, enjoys busting chops without burning bridges.

Mat asked if roasting Larry the Cable Guy would be like shooting fish in a Cracker Barrel.

He cares about Dan Whitney, the guy underneath Larry the Cable Guy, and said that the jokes are best when you care about the target.

Ross asked what was better than a Jew from Jersey making fun of a big fat redneck anyway.

Mat couldn’t think of anything.

Also roasting Larry is Gary Busey. Ross said that Busey is the only one to ever go up to the podium, look back, and roast himself.

Although the Flava Flac roast was one of Ross’ favorites, he suggested you tune in to this one on Sunday at 10 p.m. on Comedy Central.

Mat burst into a spontaneous edition of Argupedia featuring Larry the Cable Guy.

Pop Trash: Jon Stewart puts Jim Cramer in his place, Ryan Adams and Mandy Moore married, Mickey Rourke and Scarlett Johansson to join cast of ‘Iron Man 2,’ and woman finds cat inside couch. 

8 a.m.

GET YOUR YELP ON

with Ruggy!

Ruggy came in to help you get your yelp on at wine bars around San Diego!

Where to get your grape juice on:

SPLASH WINE LOUNGE in North Park: Self-serve wine bar!

THE BETTER HALF in Hillcrest: Half-bottles of wine!

TANGO WINE COMPANY in Little Italy: PMS Wednesdays!

Where to get your event on:

The Yelp/Snuggie Pub Crawl @ 5:30 in North Park

Rent

De La Soul @ Canes

Free People Trunk Show @ Detour Salon in Encinitas

Rock Bottom Brewery’s 13th Annual Firefighter Bachelor Auction in Gaslamp

Rocco DeLuca & the Burden @ HOB

Sinden @ On Broadway

Transfer @ Casbah

Delta Spirit, Get Back Loretta @ The Loft

The Mother Hips @ Belly Up

Rascal Flatts, Jessica Simpson @ Criket Wireless Amphitheatre

St. Patrick’s Day parade in Balboa Park

DJs Blackstone and Atari @ Whistle Stop

Morning coffee with City Councilman Todd Gloria @ the Weingart Branch Library in City Heights

5th Annual Stay Classy Pub Crawl in PB

Cursive @ Casbah

The Silent Comedy @ Ken Club

Millencolin @ SOMA

Family Winemakers of California wine tasting event @ Del Mar Fairgrounds

As usual, check out yelp.com to fill your social calendar with all the best that San Diego has to offer.

MORE DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Added:

Weed flow; and Interior croblaghlughualligator.

9 a.m.

MORE SPECIAL GUESTS!

Carlos and Brian from 40 Cozy came in to introduce their March Madness of Malt Liquor.

40 Cozy brings a little class to the front porch.

They filled a much needed niche. Now even Small Hands Rowley can hold a Mickey’s.

They developed a Facebook application in which every friend you add adds an ounce to your forty. Once you fill it up, you can choose a cozy, and get 40 percent off any real life 40 cozy!

The guys also developed a few iPhone apps, the most recent of which is called “Party Starter.” It is a catalog of drinking games and you can even add your own rules!

Another has one button. You press it, and it locates the closest liquor store for you.

Brian and Carlos exposed their bitter rivalry: Kearney Mesa vs. Clairemont.

The March Madness of Malt Liquor will decide once and for all which malt liquor is superior to all others.

March 15 is selection Sunday.

Sweet Sixteen starts on March 26.

More Pop Trash: Mischa Barton opts for Kutcher vehicle.

 WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK?

Lessons learned: McGregor’s is going to be fabulous tonight, you can find Carlos on hole 11 at the Disc Golf couse, former Menudo members, and marijuana is the future of California.

Carlos thanked Sammi for failing again this week.

Preston thanked Bill Withers.

Sammi thanked the whale in the bay.

So did Mat.

Hollaback, marijuana.

-SS

 

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 Jeffrey Ross [10:19m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Get Your Yelp On [18:57m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Drunk Dial [8:04m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

5:30 a.m.

An opening remark taught Mat that, “Hemet makes Escondido look like Hawaii.”

Another caller reminded everyone that Cal Worthington is still very much alive.

Good news: LT is still a Charger.

Bad news: Power Rangers is going off air.

6 a.m.

DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Included:

Stay Classy, stony San Diego; Batman demands that Hollywood Undead never be played again; Bill Cosby joins Run DMC; Re-Education Through Obesity; serenade to Sammi; semi-angry dude taught everyone about Dodger Dogs; a guest of a winner met the Edge; and Adam needs help remembering anything after running home from the hospital and puking in a cab.

 What’s on the Internet? http://kittywigs.com/

7 a.m.

WORLD RECORD WEDNESDAYS

So, first Carlos broke the world record for most pictures of fish sandwiches viewed in one minute.

His assistant held and flipped a stack of stills of various fish sandwiches while Carlos yelled the word “FISH” every time he saw one. The old record, 25, was surpassed and more than doubled at 62 by THE Carlos Montoya.

Then Mat broke the world record for number of David Lee Roth “Panama kicks” done in one minute with 93 kicks. It was quite a feat.

He wore Preston’s karate pants and a shirt that Sammi “David-Lee-Roth-ed out” for him.

Mat set the record for most Waldos found in a Where’s Waldo book in one minute at 4!

Preston ate six cupcakes in two minutes and four seconds CRUSHING the original record of six in 11 minutes. He then reset it at seven cupcakes in two minutes and 45 seconds.

Simultaneously, Mat fit a record 16 pieces of Hubba Bubba in his mouth.

They were both drooling messes.

Sammi attempted (and failed) to break the record for most compliments given in 60 seconds. She blamed it on the fact that he had a roomful of strangers while she was stuck with four people she barely likes. (Just kidding.)

Mat then set the record for most backhanded compliments in a minute at 7.

But no one wanted to congratulate him as they were all upset by his remarks.

Sammi subsequently redeemed herself and broke the record LIVE at the World Record Live Broadcast.

Also broken there: Carlos reclaimed his fish sandwich record, most giraffe tattoos on one shoulder, longest “shhhhhhhhhh,” most binder clips attached to a face, fastest beer shotgun, and many more!

Today Mat broke the world record for most cards in a deck guessed incorrectly in a row in a minute with 25!

Sammi failed again, tying the record for number of donut holes shoved into donuts in 15 seconds.

Break your own records at http://urdb.org/!

And keep an eye out for footage of all our marvelous feats on the VIDEO page of the 91X Morning Show website.

Tune in next week as the 91X Morning show takes on the world, one record at a time.

Pop Trash: Megan Fox and Brian Austen Green back together, darker versions of comic book movies, Jo Bros on Sounth park premiere tonight, documentary filmmaker using prosthetic eye as camera, AbFab remake, and cheap Honda hybrid.

8 a.m.

SPECIAL GUEST!

S.A. from 311 called in to help 91X celebrate 311 Day! (Get it? March 11, 3-11? Preeeeetty clever, boys.)

S.A. kicked off the interview with a huge announcement: 311 will be HERE in San Diego July 11 with Ziggy Marley!

They haven’t come through since last summer when they stopped by with Snoop Dogg. (No big deal.)

Mat asked if he minded that everyone at their shows smokes pot.

S.A. said of course not, it is up to each individual. It is no problem at all at outdoor shows, but once at a “hempfest” in Amsterdam the 2000 people in attendance hot-boxed the entire venue and he got higher than he’s ever been. And it was awesome.

A listener requested that Mat ask S.A. about the Ranch Bowl in Omaha, NE. 

Apparently 311 used to be the house band there. It’s an all-in-one fun center with bowling, sand volleyball, and a recording studio for local and national bands alike. S.A. worried they turned the Ranch Bowl into a WalMart since he’s last been there.

Keep an eye out for their new record called ”Uplifter” and the first single, “Hey You!”

Mexican Mario the Morrissey Fan called in to recap American Idol for the 91X Morning Show, since no one watches it.

Sammi was pretty sure they stopped after Kelly Clarkson.

But no, incompetent people are still competing, judges are still being mean to them, etc.

And Mario summed it up for everyone!

He rifled through his pages and pages of notes (so cute) and shared his heavily-accented opinion on each contestant.

9 a.m.

Pop Trash: Space Shuttle launch tonight, and an iPod talks.

WHAT DID YOU LEARN TODAY?

Lessons learned: Everytime we play Hollywood Undead a puppy explodes, and Lou Diamond Phillips can help the economy by playing both the red and white Power Rangers in the upcoming movie (question mark) since he is just a German dude with a great tan.

Carlos thanked Sammi for failing AGAIN.

Preston thanked Michael MacDonald for making an appearance in the San Diego Bay yesterday.

Mat thanked Hemet for making Escondido look like Hawaii.

-SS

 

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 S.A. of 311 [9:46m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Drunk Dial [11:52m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

5:30 a.m.

Preston got a haircut.

He regressed to his college years, a.k.a. the years when he looked like he was a 12-year-old in in 98 Degrees. 

A 7-11 attendant carded him this weekend. Sammi said it was probably because he took out his ear-blings since then.

Mat and Sammi both had terrible songs stuck in their heads.

Mat’s was “The Long Run” by the Eagles.

Sammi was cursed with “Sweet Child O Mine” by GNR.

Good start to the morning…

6 a.m.

DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Included:

Chocolate milk hit for Carlos; characteristics necessary for Gas Tank Rodeo; East County fishin’ tips; how to blind an Asian woman (put a windshield in front of her); the Goldfish cracker song; do a barrel roll x3; Asian stripper tits in his face; Mat’s “get her pregnant” advice backfired; an overheard argument; ex-Chippendale’s dancer named Rock; the most amazing call detailing meatloaf EVER; what beat-boxing + drunk-dialing + harmonica = awesome; and someone sounds off about the lack of variation in the morning show music (thank you).

What’s on the Internet?

http://funnyifyourehigh.com/ 

(Carlos’ new site coming soon!)

and

http://dontdoitrihanna.com/pages/rihanna.html

and

http://antijonasbrothers.com/

 7 a.m.

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

Pennywise is playing a 91Xclusive show on St. Patrick’s Day at the Belly Up!

The show is absolutely free!

Win your way in with a pair of passes given away every 91 minutes all this week.

You will also be granted a pair of tickets to The Jagermeister Tour featuring Pennywise and Pepper at the San Diego Sports Arena on May 30th.

And come out to Rock Bottom Brewery St. Paddy’s Day (Tuesday, March 17) morning as the 91X Morning Show boradcasts LIVE!

We’ll give out Pennywise tickets every NINE minutes to make sure you start and end your alcoholiday right!

Pop Trash: Coolio arrested for crack, Martha Stewart’s dog exploded, casting for Miley Cyrus biopic, Jimmy and Sarah split again, and Hayden chases Anthony.

8 a.m.

WORLD BASEBALL CHAMPION? OR MENUDO MEMBER?

RUBEN SIERRA… WBC Player!

ABEL TALAMANTEZ… Menudo!

MARCO ANTONIO PONCHITO GUZMAN RAMIREZ… No one!

RAYMOND ACEVEDO… Menudo!

CARLOS BELTRAN… WBC!

Edie, a Puerto Rican native, knew enough about both to differentiate between the two and won tickets to the WORLD BASEBALL CLASSIC at Petco Park on March 15!

CELEBRITIES ARE BETTER THAN REAL PEOPLE

Mat’s favorite thing about San Diego is that it’s not LA, but he gets a lot of flack for his lackluster Pop Trash reports.

So, he decided to leave it to the pros.

He found Gina Latina (if that is her real name) from AJ’s Morning Zoo’s “Star Gazing: Finest City Celebrity Sightings” article in Pacific San Diego magazine while he was looking for the tiny picture of himself that graces one of the pages.

The “here’s a party that you weren’t invited to” style of the article could only be read over house music with over-produced, wacky input from some chick.

Also, five of the six featured celebrity sightings happened at Stingaree. Methinks you need to get out more, Miss Latina….. if that is your real name.

Not that it matters but the sightings were as follows: SamRo made an appearance at Stingaree, Lucy Camden’s drink of choice at Stingaree was vodka/soda with a splash of cranberry juice, John Legend was at Stingaree with Estelle, and Kid Rock ate a Medium Rare filet, mac and cheese, asparagas, and a Caesar salad somewhere in the greater San Diego area. “B-B-B-Blogtastic!”

9 a.m.

More Pop Trash: CBS Colonoscopy Sweepstakes, happy National Napping Day, and M.I.A. has her baby.

WHAT DID YOU LEARN TODAY?

Lessons learned: Mat Diablo listens to the Eagles every night before bed, all canines are highly explosive, “Love Hurts” again and again and again, celebrities are better than real people, meatloaf, and Preston needs a hug.

Carlos thanked Menudo.

Preston thanked JEW.

Sammi thanked Mat for getting “Sweet Child O Mine” out of her head.

Mat thanked whoever said, “Don Henley must die.”

Hollaback, marijuana.

-SS

 

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 Drunk Dial [9:56m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

5:30 a.m.

Mat suggested that we never drink as much on air as we did yesterday.

What he meant to say was, “Please never let me drink as much as I did on air yesterday.”

He also decided that we should stop eating cookies that random listeners drop off because they usually have weed in them.

His day was completely lost. A shell of a day, like the 13th floor of a hotel.

6 a.m.

DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Included:

Biscuit Nasty prefers Bud Ice; bitches be interruptin’ when he’s gettin’ his breakfast burrito on; The Offspring is terrible; Three Days Grace cover; Do a barrel roll; a Muppet; and interior crocodile alligator.

What’s on the Internet?

http://explainthisimage.com/

and

http://www.getheatsurge.com/

The Stay Classy are putting on a benefit show to raise enough money to build a brand new shelter for the homeless youth of San Diego.

The Elemental Experience festival in Mission Bay Park May 2.

You can set up a webpage and invite your friends and family to help out!

Or donate to 91X’s fundraising site so we can beat Ruggy’s Yelp team

Mat plans on auctioning off a “Cheap Thrills” based date with Sammi.

If he does, you should bid on it so her feelings don’t get hurt. Plus, it’s for a great cause.

To reiterate : all proceeds are going to the Stay Classy Foundation’s efforts to build a San Diego shelter for homeless youth.

THE LINEUP:

Jay Nash!

Pete and Jay!

Dirty Sweet!

Bassnectar!

Mason Jennings!

Pinback!

Matisyahu!

7 a.m.

SPECIAL GUEST!

Gwen Stefani of No Doubt (like I have to say that) called in to talk about the band’s highly-anticipated reunion tour.

The set will be composed of all old material, i.e. the songs you’ve known and loved for over a decade.

Stefani said they decided to tour now because their inspriation comes from playing live shows.

They’ve always been a live band, and need the physical jolt before they sit down and hammer out a record..

She went on about how much she misses touring with the guys.

They joined her for an encore at one of her solo LA shows, and she said it was the most fun she’d had in a really long time.

They will be stopping by San Diego May 22 and tickets go on sale TODAY!

Stefani also said that, in order to make sure everyone is as fired up about the shows as they are, everyone will receive a free download of No Doubt’s ENTIRE catalog with purchase of a $41(+) ticket.

Pop Trash: Virgina bus driver bribes kids to bully, Seinfeld reunion, Robin Williams heart problems get worse, Beatles Rock Band, Illinois declares Pluto a planet again, Amy Winehouse charged with assault, Michael Jackson announces London concert, and Vince Vaughn engaged.

 8 a.m.

GET YOUR YELP ON

with Ruggy!

Ruggy came in to help you get your yelp on at places with WI-FI around San Diego!

Where to get your wireless on:

GET IT CLEAN LAUNDROMAT in North Park: Hipster Laundromat!

WHOLE FOODS in Hillcrest: Movies on the roof, wine/cheese pairings, and Maynard James Keenan appearances!

TORONADO in North Park: Best place for microbrews in San Diego!

Honorable Mentions: Pretty much every coffee shop in SD besides Claire De Lunes, CJs Club in Mission Hills, Aero Club off of India, Yog Art in Hillcrest, Santa Fe Train Depot, and the airport.

Where to get your event on:

Beer and Food pairing with Airdale Brewery @ Live Wire

Jimmy Eat World and No Knife @ HOB

The Fresh and MC Flow @ Bar Pink

The Lost Boy 22nd Anniversary autograph signing @ M-Theory

Hip Hop Karaoke @ Onyx Room

Maystar’s Fashion Whore @ Ruby Room in Hillcrest

61st Annual OB Kite Festival

2009 Junior Seau Legends Party @ Seaus in Mission Valley

The Drowning Men and A.M. Vibe @ Hensley’s Flying Elephant

Iron Maidens @ Canes

G. Love @ HOB

As usual, check out yelp.com to fill your social calendar with all the best that San Diego has to offer.

BATTLE OF THE EGOS

Bono vs. Kanye West vs. Mat Diablo

The caller that could correctly identify which of those three self-superfans said the following quotes won a trip to LA to attend an “Inside the Actor’s Studio”-like event featuring U2!

“I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade, I will be the loudest voice.”

(Kanye)

“All my best songs are co-written by God, y’know!”

(Bono)

“I’m doing pretty good as far as geniuses go… I’m like a machine. I’m a robot. You cannot offend a robot… I’m going down as a legend, whether or not you like me or not. I am the new Jim Morrison. I am the new Kurt Cobain…”

(Kanye)

“In fact I fancy myself a humanitarian of some sorts.”

(Mat Diablo)

“Playing the role of Jesus Christ, yours truly.”

(Mat Diablo)

9 a.m.

ANOTHER SPECIAL GUEST!

Dan Stupp of MMAJunkie.com called in to talk about this weekend’s UFC 96!

Although it may not contain a huge amount of star power to the casual UFC fan, Stupp said it is definitely worth watching.

There are some really nice match-ups that have huge possibilities of affecting title matches. (What?)

Jackson vs. Jardine: Stupp is excited to see that the old Rampage Jackson is back, and moving forward as the incredible fighter he is.

(Or maybe Mat said that.)

Grove vs. Day: Winner stays in the UFC, loser’s booted.

Vera vs. Patt: Local boy Vera is a machine. It’s definitely a must-win for him.

Check UFC 96 out on PPV Saturday night!

MORE DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Added:

Chris Tucker calls in to celebrate Friday; choke the chicken; who the f does Biscuit Nasty think he is; and without Mahoney, our intelligence level has gone up 4 grades to seniors in high school.

WHAT DID YOU LEARN TODAY?

Lessons learned: March 14 is Hillary Swank is a Dude Day, Mat will pimp Sammi out if it’s for a good cause, Bud Ice needs singing lessons, nothing says “I’m sorry I kicked your ass” like a ride on the back of a jetski, Mat Diablo’s wang rings the bell, and Sammi’s short term memory is not completely gone yet.

Carlos thanked the Amish people for keeping everybody warm.

Preston thanked JEW and No Knife.

Sammi thanked her home state of Illinois and officially welcomed Pluto back to the Solar System.

Mat thanked the police auction equipment we use for making us consistently sound unprofessional.

Hollaback, marijuana.

-SS

 

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 Gwen Stefani: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Get Your Yelp On [17:23m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

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 Drunk Dial [8:57m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

5:30 a.m.

Carlos’ dad is on Twitter. Interesting quips about the Talking Heads and a giant cock (the rooster kind) avatar make for one hell of a Twitter page.

Sammi said her dad’s only “tweet” would be, “Playing Battletanx on N64. Need another Old Style.”

Although he could never use Twitter because he is not exactly “computer-literate.”

She’s pretty sure he thinks the Internet can hear him.

Mat told her that all dads have eccentricities.

Devotees will remember that his own dad tried (and failed) to sell a train on eBay.

And Carlos’ dad has an obsession with roosters.

6 a.m.

DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Included:

More of Sammi on the Morning Show and more Cheap Thrills; Captain Morgan makes an alcohol commercial; Imagination remake; Carlos has gay shoes; wait until you’re sure you’re pregnant before you tell your stoner boyfriend; stoner says: life is worth living until it’s not livable; 5-hour energy keeps you energies; a letter to Sammi inquires about a kiss that was supposed to happen at the top of a mountain; and the marijuana bongos.

What’s on the Internet? http://naked-people.de/

“I’ve never seen this many nips before 7 a.m.”

-Sammi

SPECIAL GUESTS!

Jen and Jen came in from the Padres to talk about the new promotions at Petco this season!

Coca-Cola Value Weekends: Get an Upper Reserved ticket, hot dog and a Coke, all for only $12 for any Friday through Sunday regular season home game. Limit eight tickets per purchase.

Padres 5 for $5 Value Deal: Get a hot dog, regular soda, peanuts, popcorn and a cookie, all for only $5 at any regular season home game. Substitute a 16 oz. beer for the regular soda and pay only $10 for all five items.

ampm All-You-Can-Eat Seats (No, you can’t eat the seats): Purchase a Right Field Upper Box or Right Field Upper Reserved ticket and enjoy your favorite ballpark foods, all for one low price. All-You-Can-Eat menu includes hot dogs/veggie dogs, nachos, popcorn, ice cream novelty and fountain sodas.

Trolley Tuesdays: Get $6 off tickets priced $14 or more for any Padres Tuesday home game with a Tuesday Trolley ticket.

Plus much, much more for supporting your Padres.

Oh, and cheaper beer.

7 a.m.

ABBY FROM A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY

Grandma Abby, Carlos’ grandmother, called in to aid 91X listeners with love and sex advice.

She is single-handedly in charge of the esteemed Art Center of the senior home in Carlsbad.

Recently a legal US citizen, Abby is wise beyond her years in all facets of life from her years of extraordinary experience.

She is a poet, a writer, a lover, and even had her own radio show back in the day.

By request, the segment was dubbed “Abby from a galaxy far far away.” (Well, Colombia.)

She began with a quote by Vincent Van Gogh, “Love is something eternal. The aspects may change, but the essence never does.”

She then gave a brief history of St. Patrick’s Day before reminding Carlos that he must wear green clothes or he will be pinched!

Randy had a question for her. He asked her how to tell his girlfriend that he’s been cheating her.

She scolded him and asked why boys his age always turn to that sort of lifestyle. Love is something strong that stays with you the rest of your life and he needs to figure that out.

But that wasn’t the end of his question.

He had gotten the “other girl” pregnant.

She told him he has to be a man and be responsible for his actions. She also reminded him that he is responsible for his girlfriend, and needs to broach the subject with understanding and communication.

 It was beautiful advice from a beautiful woman.

After she told everyone to spend some money, save some money, amd start good credit early, she had her husband pretend to be “Father O’Malley” and tell a Catholic joke.

Listen in for next time we check in with our Colombian sweetheart.

Pop Trash: Kanye West’s biggest regret is that he can’t see himself perform live, The Bachelor did something wrong, Chris Brown court date, Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan to make a movie, and Lauren Conrad writes a book.

Sammi realized she needs to cash in on the LC news and start ghostwriting for celebutards. Carlos immediately hired her to write his memoirs. Mat approved, and sent them off to a secluded beach house for a week to write a few chapters to sample to various publishers.

We’re going to be rich!

8 a.m.

CATCHING UP WITH THE 91X MORNING SHOW

We’ve had quite a few questions about some of the recent omissions from the 91X Morning Show.

World Record Wednesdays?

They’ll be back! We just wanted to give it a rest for awhile after we anialated so many of them at the record breaking broadcast.

Stay tuned, and keep sending us your ideas!

Sam the Cooking Guy?

He is in the middle of his filming sessions for the next season of his show. He’s about to blow up, man. Soin’ big things. Trust us. But he’ll be back when he’s a bit less busy!

Mahoney?

This is the shitty one.

Mahoney got laid off due to another round of hits to the company’s already laughable budget. We will miss him, of course, but will move on because we love this city. Cheesy, yes, but it’s what keeps the show going. You’re what keeps the show going through the setbacks and sad times.

Mahoney is an extremely talented man who will have no problem moving on with his career.

Okalahoma declared their state rock song the Flaming Lips’ “Do You Realize?”

Mat researched other state songs…

Montana: 15 beers – Johnny Paycheck

Oregon:  Let’s Smoke Some Pot – Dash Rip Rock

Utah: Let the Eagle Soar – John Ashcroft

Wisconsin: Lavergne and Shirley Theme Song

Indiana: (sad trombone sound)

Florida: Interior Crocidile Alligator

Arizona: Butterfly – Crazytown

Connecticut: Breakfast in America – Supertramp

Mississippi: Sweet Home Alabama – Lynyrd Skynyrd

Illinois: Superbowl Shuffle – 1985 Chicago Bears

California nominees: California Love, Californication, Going to California, California, Dani California, California Dreaming, and California Uber Alles (WINNER)

9 a.m.

SPECIAL PERFORMANCE!

LES CLAYPOOL came in to talk about his Oddity Faire show tonight at the House of Blues and jam with a local Theremin player.

They covered the Residents.

It was unbelievable and epic and weird in the best way possible. LISTEN BELOW!

More Pop Trash: A Florida woman called 911 after her local McDonald’s ran out of Chicken nuggees, JetBlue Sale, Myspace execs leave before the fall, and Miley Cyrus lets it all hang out.

 Carlos thanked the Dead Kennedys.

Sammi thanked the 1985 Chicago Bears for being the only thing she has to be proud of.

Everyone thanked Les Claypool.

Hollaback, marijuana.

-SS

 

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 Les Claypool! [10:42m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

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