Gloria Box Goes to South Africa
5:30 a.m.
The conversation about collect calls took an unfortunate turn when Mahoney began to detail the life and times of Carrot Top.
Mat read a newly released statistic that last night at the Sports Arena there were more shiny shirts per capita than anywhere else in the universe.
What was the occasion? WEC 38, of course.
But more on that later.
Mat asked Sammi about her weekend as he received a few semi-racist text messages from her at 3 a.m. Saturday night.
She said that they weren’t from her, they were from her aliases: Gloria Box and TiTi LaRue.
6 a.m.
Mat said that ATM receipts are the new matchbooks when it comes to drunken recall.
For example, Carlos had a “Three Carne Asada burritos?” moment on Saturday.
Included:
Donut’s blazing, allegedly.com; Gas Tank Rodeo and ODB; blah blah blah; Mahoney’s creepily staring at chicks from afar at the High Dive; some gibberish about hypocrisy at Butt Rock 105; a request for a 12-pack of Mahoney’s IPA; fake Absinthe; fake women problems; Mahoney and Carlos carry Mat Diablo; what happened to Dream Date with Depreston; girls just wanna have fun; no bad life choices; hockey is the best sport in the world; the culprits that stole the Granite Hills High School eagle; and a hookah pipe out of a beer can.
What’s on the Internet? http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
Mat made fun of Sammi for not knowing the name of the South African gentleman that TiTi LaRue made out with on Saturday.
7 a.m.
If you see a stripper in public, do you acknowledge them and their occupation?
For example, “Hey, don’t you work at Deja Vu?”
Sammi said to make it rain. On the street, in the grocery store, at Church, wherever. That’s their job and they should own it! Get some, girl!
Callers, Mat, and Mahoney said that you should do nothing to draw any attention to them in their personal lives.
Carlos agreed with Sammi, as did an ex-dancer, Sonya. She said that it was her job, no need to be embarrassed, and more than welcomed any hello’s.
One caller did point out, however, that you don’t want a stripper acknowledging you in your personal life.
And so it goes.
Pop Trash: Monster Truck announcer killed, SAG happened, Mk and A’s star vandalized, Kiefer gets a lap dance from a tranny, Paul McCartney to remarry, and Mat was on Double Dare.
MMA Maneuver? Or Sexual Maneuver?
THE HAMMOCK… Sex!
THE ANACONDA… MMA!
THE WHITE DRAGON… Sex!
THE GATOR ROLL… Both!
Vince could differentiate between the two and thus won a UFC prize pack including a free viewing of next Saturday’s UFC 94!
The 91X Morning Show: Balls Deep in UFC.
8 a.m.
Mat replayed the first episode of “The Sammi and Preston Show,” in case you missed it!
THE SAMMI AND PRESTON SHOW!
(The theme song is borrowed from the awesome old cartoon “Doug.”)
It came about when Mark L. Walberg (not the Mark Wahlberg you would immediately think of) called in and needed to be interviewed by someone. Carlos had booked him solely on the basis that he was the badass Mark Wahlberg, but never cancelled when he found out otherwise.
So, Mat made Sammi and Preston conduct the interview.
They didn’t know anything about the man, his career, or his general existence when they began. Nor did they know anything about him when they were finished.
Listen to the painfully awkward first installment on the podcast below!
And stay tuned as they conduct all of the B and C list interviews that nobody else wants to do from now on.
SPECIAL GUEST!
Elizabeth Banks called in to talk about her new movie: The Uninvited.
Mat asked her to specify the category of terror that this movie is filed into.
She said that it is psychological scary rather than gory scary.
The film is based on the Japanese horror film “Tale of Two Sisters.”
Banks promised that it would be a great date flick as the movie is centered around three heroines. So even the ladies can enjoy watching the women kick some ass.
Banks decided to try her hand at horror to explore her dark side.
She referenced Anthony Hopkins’ roles as Hannibal Lector when she said it would be fun to relish in pure joy these characters get from their bad behavior.
“It’s a blast being evil.”
Also catch her as a new spokesmodel for L’Oreal Paris along with Beyonce and Eva Longoria Parker.
Mat made her tell a joke before she departed.
It was funny.
9 a.m.
MORE DRUNK DIAL LINE!
Added:
Carlos is a dick, Mat is funny as hell, and Mahoney’s a good drinking buddy; Douchebag Morning Show Guy Bitch Boy and Baloney Show; Mahoney looks like a rapist; the Latino community says hello; Mahoney looks like an afterschool teacher and a douche; and Mat has a small, skinny, scaly penis.
Mahoney made two tasteless jokes at his own grandmother’s expense. Two. For shame, Mahoney.
More Pop Trash: WWE Royal Rumble, bookmobiles, Yo Yo Ma pulls an Ashlee Simpson, and the Obama couple enjoys fisting… allegedly.
WHAT DID YOU LEARN TODAY?
Michelle gets fisted and Mahoney looks like a rapist, Mat Diablo was on Double Dare in 4th grade, it’s ok to approach a stripper on the streets, and don’t mess with a brodozer.
Carlos thanked Gloria Box and TiTi LaRue.
Sammi thanked herself for adding another continent to the Map of Promiscuity.
Mahoney thanked himself for managing to disgust himself.
Mat thanked the chick from Evanescense, but I refuse to say why.
-SS
Standard Podcast [41:15m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download Elizabeth Banks [9:06m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download Drunk Dial [13:33m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download
