91X Morning Show with Mat Diablo

5:30 a.m.

Happy Dr. Seuss Day!

Mat played audio of a drunken Preston stumbling into the studio during Loudspeaker last night and yelling around about accordians and the Chargers.

6 a.m.

SPECIAL GUEST!

Jason Segel called in to talk about his new movie with Paul Rudd called “I Love You, Man.” 

Mat asked if he had come on to talk about the new Blu Ray release of Slackers. 

“There’s a Blu Ray release of Slackers? Wow, that is an incredible waste of technology.” 

Mat, of course, was joking. Although that movie is definitely worthy of numerous re-releases. 

“I Love You, Man” will be Segel’s third movie with Paul Rudd (”Knocked Up” and “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”).

 Mat asked if, in the wake of other undeservedly cancelled shows becoming movies, there may be a “Freaks and Geeks” reprise.

Segel doubted it as not more than three months after the show was cancelled, the main actor morphed from a “geek” into a 6′4, good looking dude.

 ”I Love You, Man” is about a challenge that many adult men face. That is, going out into the world and trying to make male friends (without crossing the homoerotic line.)

 And for those who saw “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” there is no full frontal male nudity in this flick.

Check it out on March 23!

What’s on the Internet? http://www.nuddleblanket.com/

DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Included:

John McCain checks in; pants filled with vomit at 3 or 9 a.m.; the accidental mushroom ballad; Mexican wakeup call; VW Gas Smell Rodeo; Carlos is the Octodad; furry sex guitar riff; shut the f*** up, Sammi; did the Chargers win?; Jack FM is kicking our asses; excitement about the 91X van on the freeway; traffic song; a lady that offers her left boob for No Doubt tickets; and Dr. Dre + white people = Do a barrel roll.

7 a.m.

Carlos’ dad requested to be everybody’s friend on Facebook. Everyone, that is, except for Carlos’ sister.

This caused an as-of-yet unresolved riff in the Montoya family as the two kids battle over their father’s Facebook love.

Mike MacDonald, of Doobie Brothers fame, experienced similarly dismal consequences as a result of using Facebook when his mom saw a picture of the record-breaking giraffe tattoo he got on Man Date XII and cut him out of her will.

Mat’s brother’s girlfriend (’s dog’s grandpa’s uncle’s fish’s whatever) broke up with him over a possibly incriminating comment on his Myspace from a girl that happened to be in the same city he was concurrently on tour in.

This conversation stemmed from a story about a woman,Kim Swann, who was fired for updating her Facebook status to, “Bored at work.”

Mitch called in to ask if he should be worried that his girlfriend is talking to all her old flames on Facebook. Sammi and Mat convinced him that yes, F*ckbook is a gang-bang networking site, but there is no need to be worried if he makes one too.

Doug found out that his girlfriend was cheating on him with a bald guy with a goatee while he was away on deployment.

Paul, however, was the only person who stuck up for Myspace, his personal matchmaker. He met wife on Myspace. Awwwwwwww, we’ll end on a good note.

 Pop Trash: Dr. Seuss, P. Diddy brings Chris Brown and Rihanna, Republicans love porn, Ed McMahon is in the hospital, Snoop Dogg is now Islamic, and Jo Bros movie has disappointing ratings.

8 a.m.

Lifetime Movie of the Week? Or Musical?

Mat read five plot synopses of “emotional coming-of-age stories.” Shannon knew enough about terrible made-for-TV movies and cheesy musicals to differentiate between the two and win tickets to RENT!

 9 a.m.

MORE DRUNK DIAL LINE!

Added:

Bumblebee Tuna Song; an Interior Crocadile Alligator from TJ; a messy burp interrupts a call; and baked bongos.

More Pop Trash: Xzibit meme.

WHAT DID YOU LEARN TODAY?

Everyone thanked Preston for his drunken gibberish last night.

Mat and Carlos argued about the Nuddle again.

Hollaback, marijuana.

-SS

 

 Standard Podcast [46:02m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Jason Segal [7:01m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Drunk Dial [8:56m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

http://snuggiesightings.com/snuggie/

THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!

5:30 a.m.

Carlos‘ eyes lit up as Mat announced he bought four Snuggies. They weren’t for the show, though. He bought two for himself and two for his wife.

Sammi suggested he wear one on his front and one on his back so there is no entrance for cool air.

Chrissy Russo wore a pantsuit today so Mat said some misogynistic things about the weather.

6 a.m.

If Mat has learned anything from infomercials and advertisements for “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” seminars, it’s that there is always money to be made in a recession.

Mahoney came across this innovative entrepreneur on Craigslist:

“Punch Me in Face for $100

Are you frustrated and sick of the state of things? Economy got you down? Pissed about the war in Iraq? Do you have a lot of pent up aggression and need a healthy outlet to release it through?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then today is your lucky day!

For only $100 I will let you punch me in the face.

Here are the guidelines:

-Money up front, CASH ONLY
-No crow hopping. Planted foot punches only
-1 punch per customer per day
-Face only. No rabbit punches to the back of the dome or anything below the belt
-All punches are final. If you swing and miss thats your punch!
-I will be wearing a mouth guard. In the event of knocked out teeth, I keep the teeth
-I have the right to refuse any potential punchers for any reason what so ever

My Money Back Guarantee:

If I move or hit you back you will automatically be refunded your money.

Please, serious inquiries only.”

Carlos, Mahoney, and Mat would not let someone punch them for $100, while Sammi would.

She’s been punched in the face before (by the floor when she broke her nose during volleyball practice in high school), and it wasn’t bad at all.

Mat then wondered how much Robert Redford would have to pay for Sammi to agree to his indecent proposal.

What’s on the Internet? http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

FEATURED GRAMMY INTERVIEW

Mahoney lost his shit over David Faustino, a.k.a. Bud Bundy.

“I looked up and I saw you and I’m like, ‘Oh, sweet Jesus.’”

Listen Below!

And check out his new project with Corin Nemec from “Parker Lewis Can’t Lose” called Star-ving at Crackle.com!

7 a.m.

Kevin the Intern was newly dubbed Frederich Loinhammer: Viking.

MORE GRAMMY FUN!

Mat was upset that Preston, Mahoney, Carlos, and Sammi were all “ungrateful” that he drove to LA.

He highlighted all of the amenities and treats he paid for during the trip, and called them all out for finding something to complain about.

They were all still in shock from his terrible driving habits: no turn signals, swerving, speeding, rapid and unbalanced lane changes–the works.

Oh, and it was raining.

Oh, and it was five people smashed into a top-heavy SUV.

Mat tried to defend himself by calling his driving “efficient” rather than “erratic.”

They left the station and arrived (paralyzed with fear and nausea) at the Staples Center within an hour and ten minutes.

Some callers (undoubtedly the jackasses cutting you off on the freeway) agreed with Mat. The rest were just happy that the gang made it back in one piece. And feared the fate of his unborn daughter.

Pop Trash: More Rihanna and Chris Brown drama, Jodie Sweetin remains drug-free, gay sex in Second Life, Tony Robbins gets a reality TV show, and Stormy Daniels runs for Senator.

8 a.m.

Coldplay song? Or British Literature?

CEMETARIES OF LONDON… Coldplay song!

THE ALCHEMIST… Brit Lit!

LOVE’S LABOUR’S WON… Brit Lit!

The lucky (and I say lucky because she clearly knew nothing of the genre [insert smug look of accomplishment here]) winner that could differentiate between the two won 4th row tickets to Coldplay at Coors Ampitheater!

FEATURED GRAMMY INTERVIEW

Wayne Brady, noted funny man, spoke to Mat about all of his badass tats and how he abhors the phrase “funny man.”

As far as he knew, he was just an actor that could do improv and made people laugh.

Brady enjoys the whole acting gambit. See his “not so much of a family show” in Vegas at the Venetian!

Everyone learned not to judge a Bob Saget by its cover.

“Hugs, and then slapping.”

Listen below!

9 a.m.

SPECIAL GUEST (UNDER TERRIBLE CIRCUMSTANCES)

The house Scott Russo grew up in and resided in with his entire family burned down late last week.

The family could not afford homeowner’s insurance, and lost their home, pets, and all belongings in the flames.

His daughter turned on a lamp she never used that happened to have a hat sitting on top of it.

She hopped in the shower, and a small, two foot fire erupted.

Russo grabbed the fire extinguisher, but nothing came out.

By then it had spread to the ceiling, and shortly after the entire second floor was ablaze.

They had to rush the entire family out before they could find their dogs.

The fire department arrived in time to stop the flames from spreading, but the irreversible damage was done.

Russo thanked the community for coming together and being so supportive.

Attend the benefit show TONIGHT at House of Blues featuring Switchfoot, Jason Mraz, Timmy Curran, and a handful of other local bands!

And Unwritten Law, of course.

Tickets range from $45-$100.

Help Russo in his time of need.

Pop Trash: Oregon Trail coming to iPhone, no sex for Dita Von Teese, Patrick Swayze fights for cancer research, and Joaquin Phoenix doesn’t plan on shaving.

WHAT DID YOU LEARN TODAY?

Lessons learned: Chris Brown is a douchebag, “scotch free,” probably shouldn’t sleep with Rihanna, and if you value your life stay away from Mat on the freeway.

Carlos thanked himself.

Preston thanked scotch free.

Sammi thanked the state of Oregon and all its trails.

Mahoney thanked the new Nordic intern Buck Wild.

Mat thanked the new Nordic intern Frederich Loinhammer: Viking.

-SS

 

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 Scott Russo [11:57m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

5:30 a.m.

Carlos’s sister is turning 18 on Thursday.

Carlos got her a Snuggie, then requested one for himself.

Mat and Mahoney decided to give her a Wobbly H.

Then an Erik Estrada haircut.

Then a Snuggie.

Carlos then demanded that he receive gifts in honor of his sister’s birthday.

6 a.m.

Saturday Carlos ditched Preston and Mahoney to go to a sex party.

He went to a soiree at State that had everything– white boy reggae, 4 kegs, a bouncehouse, and a room packed with people having sex.

He walked in to that room 4 times after accidentally discovering it.

At any given time there was an average of 10 people using the room.

Mat and Mahoney wondered if they were just old, or if this was normal of State parties.

Sammi said it’s not really her scene as 1 in 8 kids at SDSU has an STD, but has had friends all leave one party to hook up. Even then, it is very rare.

A couple of callers said that it is absolutely normal to have a roomful of sex, but their philosophies and morals were a little questionable.

Can you imagine cleaning that room afterwards?

All in all, Carlos Montoya is a filthy human being.

What’s on the Internet?

http://dailyotter.tumblr.com/

and

http://peoplewhodeserveit.com/

7 a.m.

Mahoney and Carlos like to make Mat feel guilty about growing up and becoming a family man.

This is a big year for him as his first child is on its way and his 30th birthday is fast approaching. He asked if there was anything he should be doing before he devotes his life to his child and it is too late.

Mahoney thinks he needs to travel more, but Mat has been abroad.

Calls included some great suggestions– jump over some sharks on waterskiis, try acid, hunt a deer with a knife, skydive without a parachute, live in the wild for one month– but nothing that he could not do because of the baby or his age.

The two items added to his “bucket list” were sleep as much as possible, and get really fucked up while he still has minimal responsibility.

Pop Trash: Larry King’s son wants to be black, Obama speechwriter’s girlfriend Maxim model, Megan Fox as Lara Croft, Ugly Betty replaced, hottest lips, and flight simulator cancelled.

8 a.m.

WHITE TRASH COOKING WITH SAM THE COOKING GUY

Sam came in for some more hot plate, microwave oven, good ol’ fashioned home-cookin’!

(Or, in this case, good ol’ fashioned studio-cookin’.)

Today he taught everyone how to make the Pizza Eggs (click for the recipe!)

Essentially it is a leftover pizza omelette.

Mat, throughout Sam’s segment, read the list of the worst foods possible that people consume.

The worst dessert is Baskin Robin’s large Chocolate Oreo Shake, the worst breakfast is the Stacked ‘n Stuffed Banana Pecan Stuffed Hotcakes, and the worst Mexican entree is the Buffalo Chicken Fajitas (with the works) from Chili’s.

Carlos said he had evidence of eating all of the above from his game of Drunken Receipt Rodeo this weekend.

Sam came in with a plastic bag full of leftover pizza, eggs, and butter because, “Leftover is not a four letter word.”

Basically he just cut the pizza into cubes, and fried two beaten eggs over it.

Carlos tried to get Sam excited about pizza-flavored Pringles, but instead Sam ranted about how you can only comfortably fit them in your mouth one way.

His second book will be complete on Frida, so keep an eye out in stores soon!

Included: A Pastrami Man Pocket.

Check out each of Sam’s visits on the Video page of the 91X Morning Show website.

MMA RODEO

David and Aaron went head to head to see who could name the most MMA fighters in 30 seconds.

They both talked a lot of trash, but in the end it was Aaron with a total of 16.

David had only 11, which was extremely disappointing considering Sammi named 6 in 10 seconds.

Aaron received a UFC Prize Pack including a free viewing of this weekend’s UFC 94, UFC 87 on DVD, and tons of UFC gear!

Aaron invited David over to watch it as a gesture of his humility. It was touching.

9 a.m.

THE BOTTOM 40!

When Mat Diablo uses the little power he has to plummet past the pop on top and reach into the depths of the musical charts to dig some gems gleaming with promise and potential out from…

The Bottom 40

News: Still awaiting Coachella news! But the confirmed artists rock. Stay tuned to 91X for breaking news.

A fan passed away at a Slipknot show, Wesley Snipes to play James Brown in a biopic, Ben Folds puts out his own cover album, Radiohead plays the Grammys, all of Obama’s staffers celebrated with a party with Arcade Fire, and The Soft Pack (local boys formally known as The Muslims) gets signed to a record label.

Carlos called Mat out for neglecting to report the new releases today, and then took over the entire segment. It was a rare display of raw power and assertiveness. It was hot.

New Releases: Franz Ferdinand!

In a completely random act of selflessness and chivalry Mat let Sammi pick the song for the Bottom 40 this week!

And so, in an epic installment, this week’s featured tune from Mat’s personal musical piggy bank:

Help I’m Alive – Metric

Consider yourselves informed.

More Pop Trash: AnnaLynne McCord rides a bull, Donny Osmond dances with some stars, and Kanye West announces new name.

WHAT DID YOU LEARN TODAY?

Its good to be Colombian, Carlos is racist against Canadians, Mahoney is gay for watching 90210, and you can pick up a demo tape of Mat’s old band at Music Trader.

Carlos thanked the question, “Is Hilary Swank hot?” (No.)

Preston thanked Mat for bathing in his hepatitis bathtub.

Mahoney thanked whoever cleaned up the sex room.

Hollaback, marijuana.

-SS

 

 Standard Podcast [64:24m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Sam The Cooking Guy [14:08m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 The Bottom 40 [19:58m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download